soccerrprp Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) true or false Well, this is one of those questions that does not have an absolute response. The answer is, of course, there are those who marry after 2-years of being together. So, in that sense, the answer to your question is False. But, I would like to warn you that it depends on a lot of things. I know people who have been engaged longer than they had dated and didn't make the final call. I personally believe that you should have a pretty good idea of whether you want to marry someone within the first 3-years. I also believe that an engagement shouldn't be more than 1-year. If you are not ready to marry for legit reasons then don't ask. Wait until you have your ducks in a row and prepared to make that plunge at that time before proposing. I think long-term engagements are nuts and for some, a place holder to keep the other person in the relationship to buy time, etc. Some never having the intention of marrying, unfortunately. I have known my gf for short of 2-years. I plan to propose prior to our 2-yr anniversary of meeting one another. If I don't know by now, the odds are not looking good that I will ever come to some conclusion that she is any more the kind of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. 1-2 years is plenty of time to figure out if you love someone. After asking her and provided she says yes, the engagement WILL NOT BE more than 6-12 months. No rational reason to postpone a wedding for long periods of time. Just my 2-cents. Edited December 26, 2013 by soccerrprp 4
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False. Who decided 2 years was the benchmark?
Keenly Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False. But if he doesnt see himself marrying you, or doesnt see you in his future within 2 years, he never will. Thats more than enough time to be able to tell IF you will marry someone and rarely do feelings become deeper than they already are after 2 years (unless its a LDR the entire time or you didnt spend much time together the first year, which is rare) I disagree. That's not enough time. I didn't see that my ex was insane until 2 years in. I think that's too fast to make a lifelong decision.
oldshirt Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False. But if he doesnt see himself marrying you, or doesnt see you in his future within 2 years, he never will. Thats more than enough time to be able to tell IF you will marry someone and rarely do feelings become deeper than they already are after 2 years (unless its a LDR the entire time or you didnt spend much time together the first year, which is rare) This ^^^^^^^^ Assuming we are talking about self-supporting adults here and not teenagers/college student, two years is plenty of time to know if some is the one or not. If someone says, " I am not in a position to marry untill I get a job/finish my degree/ reach adulthood, that is fair and wise. If they say, " I don't know if ........" then you are not the one and they are just enjoying the Saturday night dates and not serious about a future with you. 7
Nick192 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Thats false but could have some truth behind it most couples after being together for awhile just push it to the side and not think of it and even then if they have a set date plan other things come into play like bills etc
soccerrprp Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) Again, I think 2-yrs is plenty of time to get to know someone and decide whether you want to be with her LT or not or marry. If you are not ready RIGHT NOW to commit to marriage then don't propose. If after two years post engagement, then he or she has misgivings or doubts. I think it's crazy to have an engagement longer than a year. But if dating, one should know within 3-yrs. Eh, I'm repeating my earlier post essentially. But it's really not all that inspiring to hear that people have been together for 3+ years w/ no commitment to marry or in an engagement 1+ years w/ no sign of firm wedding plans. It happens too often and the result often undesirable. EDIT: I am aware that frequency of face to face meetings may be widely varied within over-all periods of dating. So, I could have dated someone for 3 years, but if our frequency of actual face time was only 1x per week during this time, it has less impact than someone who has been dating only 1 year, but see each other daily. I am assuming that there has been ample face to face time, intimacy and hopefully some co-habitation... Edited December 26, 2013 by soccerrprp
Onethirtyeight Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False. I'm not marrying anyone for at least 6 or 7 years but maybe I'll meet "the one" tomorrow, still wouldn't propose until I have my career set and ready to do the family thing. With that any woman that feels that entitled to marriage is getting dumped. 1
Elias33 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I hope that's not the case. Marriage requires much more consideration with the divorce rates of today. Marriage is like a frame on a beautiful picture, as the relationship is the picture. Don't lose focus on the picture and stare at the frame. It doesn't make sense.
Graduate Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False. I have a few relatives and friends who only got married after being together for 5 or more years. HOWEVER, like others have said, most of those couples had talked about marriage or a firm long-term commitment in the first few years, so a delayed wedding was mostly due to some logistic reason, or the feeling that they were both too young to get married. Often a 30th birthday, 5 year anniversary or birth of a child was the 'event' that eventually brought upon a proposal. 2
OrangeSnack Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False! I have plenty of friends that aren't married and they have been dating for 5+ years (I have a few that are together for 10+ years). There are many reasons behind it but I find that majority of the reason is financial stability.
dlks Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Definitely false However, I think that if she's shown a definite interest in marriage (mentioning a desire to marry one day during conversation etc etc) and after 2 years he doesn't show any kind of interest or desire to do so then it might be an idea for her to consider if they ultimately want the same things. I know plenty of people who have become engaged beyond being together for 2 years and are happily married.
FitChick Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 It's up to the person who wants to be married as to how long they will wait. 1
truth_seeker Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False. But if he doesnt see himself marrying you, or doesnt see you in his future within 2 years, he never will. Thats more than enough time to be able to tell IF you will marry someone and rarely do feelings become deeper than they already are after 2 years (unless its a LDR the entire time or you didnt spend much time together the first year, which is rare) People only hold on until someone else comes along whom they like better. 1
Eau Claire Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Why not ask the real question. Will he marry me? No idea. However, the majority of adults in many western societies are no longer getting formally married. So, hard to know today if a guy not popping the question means he doesn't want to be with you forever, or he just doesn't put any value in the formal piece of paper. You should be asking him. If you can't ask, then you are not in a relationship that should be formalized.
mysteriouschic Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 False my uncle and auntie were together 10/11 years before they get married, an they always got on well. Took them until their thirties to marry.
Phantom888 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Depends on life situation and age. If the two people are young adults (early 20s) then false. Both people need to grow up more before they marry, and if they are smart enough to wait past 2+ years, it's all good. If you are well into child-bearing, family age (30+), then it's TRUE. People who don't marry within 2 years are not likely going to want to. I mean, you are already mature enough, and will not really change into a different person. No surprises. Shouldn't take more than 2 years to get to know someone in depth. So if there is no talk of marriage by 2 years, and you are both past 30, then there is really no intention to ever get married from at least one party.
Phantom888 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Assuming we are talking about self-supporting adults here and not teenagers/college student, two years is plenty of time to know if some is the one or not. If someone says, " I am not in a position to marry untill I get a job/finish my degree/ reach adulthood, that is fair and wise. If they say, " I don't know if ........" then you are not the one and they are just enjoying the Saturday night dates and not serious about a future with you. Very nicely put. I agree a lot of young people postpone marriage until they finish graduate school and have a nice income. This way they can afford to buy a house and start a family soon after they marry. That's good planning. Unfortunately, a lot of men, many of whom have already been married before and know exactly what they want, tend to lead a woman on by being unsure. These men are selfish, and can't commit. They want to enjoy the benefits of dating without the responsibilities of a committed relationship. They can't stand being alone, so they would rather have the woman wait pointlessly. To all the women out there, just know that men who are past 30 years old are able to know very soon if the woman is THE ONE. We are talking about less than 6 months time, which is enough time for us to decide if we want to spend the rest of our lives with you (assuming you are presenting your true self and not hiding who you are). If we are unsure about marriage after 1-2 years, we are not really unsure about marriage itself. We just don't want to marry you, but would immediately marry someone else more suitable for us. Sorry this is just the truth... 2
jenwon Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 10x False. Most of my friends dated for 5+ years before getting married. If you're goal is just to get married then you are just asking for trouble.
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I disagree. That's not enough time. I didn't see that my ex was insane until 2 years in. I think that's too fast to make a lifelong decision. This is true, for the first two years I wanted to marry my GF but now for some reason I can't see myself with her and we are 4 years in so IDK I'm stuck.
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 People only hold on until someone else comes along whom they like better. And this is why we are all f*cked!!!!
CptSaveAho Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 true.... if i am dating someone for more then 2 years and havent given them a ring... i would be buying time to find someone else even "good" moms tell their daughters to bail after 2 years if theres no ring in their early mid 20s
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