Jump to content

The post Xmas comedown

Softie

By Softie
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Softie Established Member

Softie

Posted
Posted

I had a good Xmas day, lots of fun with the family, lots of hugs nod laughs with my niece and nephew but whenever I wasn't distracted by game playing or clearing up, my mind was straight back to the ex and today I've just popped home to get showered and ready to go out again, and feel low, missing the ex so much, the laughs, the love we 'seemed' to share, the hugs and affections.

 

I've just cried like a baby, and still tears in my eyes. People assume that because it's been three months almost that your over it and ready to move on, maybe I am, maybe it's just Xmas.

 

Weird as I was single last Xmas had a good time, but was hoping so much to spend my life with my ex and have Xmas fun together this year and many years to come and that has all gone now.

 

Still feel so sad about it all, we had such a good time, why throw it Away just because they are scared of relationships and loving.

 

:o:(

 

Find it all very confusing, very sad and very hard to come to terms with their thinking. I've accepted it, kind of, we won't be getting back together but my head still whirls around and around.

 

Most of all, I DONT WANT TO BE SINGLE ANYMORE AND LIVE ALONE. Lived alone for 11years :(

xUnknown Established Member

xUnknown

Posted
Posted

I hear ya Softie. I went through the same thing. Being with family was great to get my head off things but i couldn't stop thinking about my ex. We spend Christmas together last year and I miss that.

 

History: Broke up 3.5 months ago, she came back seeking reconciliation 3 weeks ago. I want to give her another shot, but I need to forgive her first before starting a new relationship.

 

My ex texted me wishing myself and my family a Merry Christmas and a joyful holiday season. I cordially responded. I miss her so much...I want to be with her, but I know if I do right now I wont be giving things a fair chance to work again because I'll have the thought of the BU in the back of my head.

  • Like 2
belinda22 Member

belinda22

Posted
Posted

Softie- Same boat as you. My ex and I broke up after 4 years together and a house. Same thing- his committment issues and not wanting the responsibiltiy of a relationship. I think it makes it the hardest, because in my situation, he really seemed to love me, as I am sure your situation was the same. When I am feeling good, it is only because I remember this was about his issue not mine. I know how good I was to him, and so does he. Perhaps remembering this wasn't something you could change would help?? I wish you all the best, because I know it's SUPER hard, especially with the holidays. Here's to hoping next year is better for all of us!

  • Like 1
  • Author
Softie Established Member

Softie

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It's weird as I said, he wasn't around last christmas I was single so why I found it hard I don't know.

 

I've not had a message from him, but then again he wasn't massive on Xmas and would have probably been working.

 

I still miss us although I know he wasn't right for me. I treated him so well and was so giving but he was selfish, everything had to be his way and he was very lazy about us. Still doesn't stop you from hurting though. Doesn't stop you from wishing, esp at Christmas that you were able to share it with someone I am in a loving relationship with.

 

Plus I feel robbed, in life of sharing it with someone for anything longer than a few weeks or months which is all I've had in the last 11yrs.

 

Not one to feel sorry for myself often, but I do today. It's unfair, I have so much love to give and it's being wasted.

xUnknown Established Member

xUnknown

Posted
Posted

It's unfair, I have so much love to give and it's being wasted.

 

 

I know exactly what you mean. Also, maybe not being wasted, but not being reciprocated. This holiday season always makes us feel worse because, I agree, we all want to spend it with someone we love. Even if they did treat us badly, we still love them and want to enjoy the time together with them.

 

I think for you Softie, you perhaps may have been looking forward to spending the Christmas season with someone - so now that "dream" never came to fruition...the though of not having your ex (even though he didn't treat you the best), that not having someone is making it stick out even more.

 

All I can say is press on. We're here for you. Because of my house arrest (80 days left!) I'm on these forums pretty frequently. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me. I'm usually pretty good at replying.

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

Posted
Posted

OP - 3 months is not a lot of time to get over something like this. Be kind to yourself and realize, it may take a while longer. I'm at almost 10 months and it is much better than before, but still not over. Hang in there and keep doin what you have to do :)

WhiteTan Member

WhiteTan

Posted
Posted (edited)

The holidays always make things seem to hurt more.

 

My ex and I have been broken up since January this year but ever since September we've been playing around with the idea of reconciling. He broke down crying and told me he's still in love with me on my birthday but things never progressed beyond that and about 8 days ago I found out he was in a new relationship knowing that I wanted to give things another try like we talked about. It broke my heart into pieces to the point I started having nightmares about it and we've been NC ever since.

 

I had a great Christmas but the whole time I kept thinking of him spending Christmas with somebody else. I'm gonna be thinking about them kissing on New Years Eve. All of my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends to kiss on new years but i'm gonna be sitting there alone unless i decide to kiss a random.

 

Valentines day is the worst holiday of them all. :/ but all we can do is keep moving forward.

Edited by WhiteTan
  • Author
Softie Established Member

Softie

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I know exactly what you mean. Also, maybe not being wasted, but not being reciprocated. This holiday season always makes us feel worse because, I agree, we all want to spend it with someone we love. Even if they did treat us badly, we still love them and want to enjoy the time together with them.

 

I think for you Softie, you perhaps may have been looking forward to spending the Christmas season with someone - so now that "dream" never came to fruition...the though of not having your ex (even though he didn't treat you the best), that not having someone is making it stick out even more.

 

All I can say is press on. We're here for you. Because of my house arrest (80 days left!) I'm on these forums pretty frequently. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me. I'm usually pretty good at replying.

 

Exactly, hope that never came true.

 

And Thank you xxx

vassilbg Member

vassilbg

Posted
Posted

Gah! I KNOW!!!! I felt the same. We broke up a week before Thanksgiving. It will pass, I remember last year I was in the same boat.

 

My ex-ex who TOTALLY destroyed my heart took for ever for me to get over. I get to meet her new boyfriend this weekend at a friend's B-day event...

  • Author
Softie Established Member

Softie

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Gah! I KNOW!!!! I felt the same. We broke up a week before Thanksgiving. It will pass, I remember last year I was in the same boat.

 

My ex-ex who TOTALLY destroyed my heart took for ever for me to get over. I get to meet her new boyfriend this weekend at a friend's B-day event...

 

Poor you babe :(

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...