Bishop556 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 My ex and I both hurt each other intentionally and unintentionally, and I feel the need to make peace with her. While I know this is selfish by some degree, I wish just to apologize for my actions post breakup as they were caused by a very needy, hurt side of myself. I do not want to be friends with her, I just wish to not be enemies for no other reason than to just forgive for our past actions. Is this a good idea to do a few months after a breakup?
Mariposa10 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I think it's all about waiting to be completely healed. How long have you two been broken up? That's the most important question. Also going through your history. I think you already apologized? A honest apology doesn't expect anything. What are your real intentions? Are you trying to get back together with her? Why do you want to apologize again? Or are you just trying to not end up like enemies?
Author Bishop556 Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 We broke up a month ago. She is already dating another guy which hurt me, but is her decision, as she is single, which I can do nothing about. I'm not trying to get back with her, nor am I expecting to be friends with her. I did want not to be enemies with her, but that is selfish. I believe I need to decide if I am ready to give a sincere apology as I am still hurt by her.
Blastbeat Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 eh, mate. Don't say anything. When a relationship is over none of you owe each other anything. Especially if she is dating another guy. Why would you want to say sorry while some other dude could be boning her? It will look like you have intentions, and will make you look beta.
notthathard Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I see nothing wrong with apologizing for your past actions sometimes it needs to be done. If you feel the need to do it for YOURSELF then have a good think about what you will get out of it. If you sincerely dont want to get back with her and find that apologizing will do help you to move on in the future then do it. If your wanting something out of apologizing to her then don't do it.
cavalier99 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) Apologize in like a year if you want. Right now is horrible timing and it will make you look like and feel like a pussy. Even if the aplogy is from the heart she wont see it this way. Too soon and appears selfish, needy, and stalkerish, and will give her the heebee jeebees. Cav Edited December 26, 2013 by cavalier99
theothersully Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Do what you feel like doing. If it makes you feel better, apologize. I recently broke nc with my ex (got attacked for it on this forum) and have started to make peace. I do not want to go through life enemies with someone I was best friends with for 12 years, no matter what a terrible wife she was in the end. A lot of people could learn a lesson from your actions.
Mariposa10 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 But didn't you apologize already? We broke up a month ago. She is already dating another guy which hurt me, but is her decision, as she is single, which I can do nothing about. I'm not trying to get back with her, nor am I expecting to be friends with her. I did want not to be enemies with her, but that is selfish. I believe I need to decide if I am ready to give a sincere apology as I am still hurt by her.
k100danny Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 this seems a little soon for an apology in all honestly and the wounds either have inflicted might still be affecting your judgement even if you aren't aware of it. I have had a couple of relationships end badly, on both occasions we have both given an apology, once i was the first person and once the other was, these were honest apologies and happened a long way down the line after we had both moved on fully. I feel it is nice not to have hatred but remember a true apology will probably be accepted in 6 months times, a years time ect and will look more sincere than doing it now. 1
Eau Claire Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 People in love have been fooling themselves since the beginning of time. The reality is you are thinking...'just maybe if....' No. Say nothing. Get on with you life.
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