Huey Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Hi, I've been on a couple of dates with this girl (24yo) that had gone well. Nothing too serious. One night I got really drunk and I invited her out to a bar. She said she couldn't make it so I invited another girl. She came along and the 24yo changed her mind and also came along. As you can imagine it didn't end great. I tried damage control but because of my drunken state I don't think I was saying the right things....idiot I know. I tried to call her about 6 times. She eventually told me that she is not over her ex and wants to remain single. She also told me that she hopes I find what I'm looking for. I told her that I enjoyed taking her out and if she ever wants to go out again she knows my number. It had been over a week with nothing from her until yesterday when I received a text: Hey Brucey! (She's never called me Brucey before) Just thought id say merry xmas. Must be hard being away from your daughter. Just was thinking about you. Hope youve had a nice day I just replied with "Hi, thanks. I hope you're having a great Christmas". And left it at that. She never replied. Is she wanting me to ask her out for another date or is she just being polite/friendly? I don't know why she would make contact with me again if she didn't want something more. Is it up to me to make the next contact or should I leave it for a few more days? Thoughts? Cheers
CrystalCastles Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I just replied with "Hi, thanks. I hope you're having a great Christmas". And left it at that. She never replied. Is she wanting me to ask her out for another date or is she just being polite/friendly? I don't know why she would make contact with me again if she didn't want something more. Is it up to me to make the next contact or should I leave it for a few more days? I don't get it. What was she supposed to reply to? You didn't exactly ask her anything. She said she wants to stay single. I would respect that and back off.
Author Huey Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 I don't get it. What was she supposed to reply to? You didn't exactly ask her anything. She said she wants to stay single. I would respect that and back off. Thanks for the reply. I guess I didn't really ask her a question It might be worth adding that when she said she wanted to remain single she was well pi$$ed off with me.
the_entertainer1 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Perhaps she was just being polite, but if you really want to know if she wanted you to ask her out again - why don't you just ask her out?! Look at it this way - if you leave things as they are, you'll never go out with her. But if you ask her, you might at least have a shot. And if she says no, then at least you'll know for sure and won't die wondering. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 If you hadn't made a commitment to be exclusive with her, you were free to ask the other woman to the bar. I think the Christmas text was an olive branch. She may have been unhappy when she discovered you with the other woman but has since calmed down. The only way to know for sure is to ask for another date. 3
Author Huey Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 A bit of an update; I finally made contact with her yesterday and this is how it went - Me: Hey. I've missed out chats. Can we catch up sometime? Her: Hey! Yeah I have aswell to be honest but not sure if a good idea... Me: ...what's it going to take to convince you? Her: Not sure! Me: Dinner, drinks and an apology? Her: Maybe Me: I respect your space, hope you change your mind. Where is this heading? I'm not going to force her to go out with me on a date. Does she want to be chased? Should I just leave it where it is and wait for her and if I hear nothing then so be it? Cheers
xUnknown Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 A bit of an update; I finally made contact with her yesterday and this is how it went - Me: Hey. I've missed out chats. Can we catch up sometime? Her: Hey! Yeah I have aswell to be honest but not sure if a good idea... Me: ...what's it going to take to convince you? Her: Not sure! Me: Dinner, drinks and an apology? Her: Maybe Me: I respect your space, hope you change your mind. Where is this heading? I'm not going to force her to go out with me on a date. Does she want to be chased? Should I just leave it where it is and wait for her and if I hear nothing then so be it? Cheers Dont push it...you're on thin ice. Let it sit. Let things be. 1
what_a_blonde Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) A bit of an update; I finally made contact with her yesterday and this is how it went - Me: Hey. I've missed out chats. Can we catch up sometime? Her: Hey! Yeah I have aswell to be honest but not sure if a good idea... Me: ...what's it going to take to convince you? Her: Not sure! Me: Dinner, drinks and an apology? Her: Maybe Me: I respect your space, hope you change your mind. Where is this heading? I'm not going to force her to go out with me on a date. Does she want to be chased? Should I just leave it where it is and wait for her and if I hear nothing then so be it? Cheers Weird. The fact that she texted you during Christmas, calling you "Brucey" and being somewhat flirty, would lead me to believe she is interested again. However I also had that slight thought in the back of my head that she is just trying to get an ego boost by texting you, to see if you will respond back (because then in her mind, you are still interested). Sure enough, you post this update. Goes to show she just wants you to chase after her. Up to you whether to pursue and play that game, but she sounds like more trouble than she is worth. I DO think it was a little sleezy to invite another girl out just because she couldn't make it (regardless of you two not actually being committed... but you've admitted you realize that). However.. she can't continue to go back and forth, telling you one thing, then being flirty and acting a whole other way, then when you come forward and invite- she shoots you down. Silly, silly games she is playing in my opinion. I'd ride this one out, let her be the next to text again- but don't hold your breath. When/if she does text again, if you're still feeling it, invite her for something fun again. If she says no and plays the hard to get game again.. don't respond to her anymore. Game over. Edited December 30, 2013 by what_a_blonde 1
xUnknown Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 You can either let it sit...or this...which is a bold move. Text her saying something like..."hey, I want to apologize about what happened. I'm headed to ___ @ 8pm for a bite to eat and a few drinks. Id like to apologize to you in person. If you can make it, that'd be great...if not, I'll understand." She knows the balls in her court, but this is your chance to know weather or not you know weather to keep worrying about it or to just pick up and move on.
Pretty.in.Pink Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 The Christmas Day text was an olive branch. You didn't pick up the ball. "Maybe" was the second opening. I would have said, "OK. Dinner at 7 on X day?" It was dumb (and sleazy) to go with another woman...and her. But I'm sensing she feels she also overreacted and/or wants to forgive you without having you think your behavior was acceptable. If you want to salvage things, I would ask her to dinner...now. Not sit around and wait for her to reach out again. After all, you screwed up. It's on you to right the ship. How would you feel if you got to tag along on her date with another guy while she drunkenly said all manner of inappropriate things??
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