realfriends Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Hey all, Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I was wondering if anyone has been in the situation where your now ex cheated once on a LTR due to no other apparent reason than G.I.G.S. or one similar and you gave them a second chance. What process did you go through? How long did it all take? Did it work? What was the hardest part? 1
ButterRum Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 This is happening to me right now and I don't know what to do.
amandalost Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I am currently in the process of giving my husband a second chance after GIGS. It has been very hard but it also depends on how much you both want the relationship to work. I went no contact and he contacted me on what would have been our 5 wedding anniversary. We started to talk over text just general chit chat. He was begging me back over text whilst still in a relationship with someone else. In the October he split up from the girl he was seeing and we started to spend a little time together. The first few weeks were horrible as all we both did was cry and talk about everything that had happened. After we got through this painful stage we then spent time together just trying to rebuild the relationship. We only saw each other a couple of times in the week and over the weekend. We agreed that we would spend christmas together and he has been staying over and so far so good. But as I said earlier if you both want it back enough you will find a way to make it work. My breakup story was a horrible one and I am still surprised that I am looking at forgiving and moving on but what can you do if you love someone
julzfromsa Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Its important that he puts in most of the effort. If the effort isnt coming from hes side then its best to spit. If he there is minimal effort coming from hes side then nothing has changed. Proof is in the pudding. Plain and simple. So sorry to hear of another GIGS heartbreak. Hate the GIGS! Best
Author realfriends Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 I am currently in the process of giving my husband a second chance after GIGS. It has been very hard but it also depends on how much you both want the relationship to work. I went no contact and he contacted me on what would have been our 5 wedding anniversary. We started to talk over text just general chit chat. He was begging me back over text whilst still in a relationship with someone else. In the October he split up from the girl he was seeing and we started to spend a little time together. The first few weeks were horrible as all we both did was cry and talk about everything that had happened. After we got through this painful stage we then spent time together just trying to rebuild the relationship. We only saw each other a couple of times in the week and over the weekend. We agreed that we would spend christmas together and he has been staying over and so far so good. But as I said earlier if you both want it back enough you will find a way to make it work. My breakup story was a horrible one and I am still surprised that I am looking at forgiving and moving on but what can you do if you love someone How long NC was it? A lot of people say that this "syndrome" if you want to call it that (for sake of an argument), takes minimum 6 months to shake. I know if my ex came back who left me due to this too early, I would be like, "How do you know that the grass isnt greener" Thats what makes this scary. When they come back, IF THEY DO, you might always have the thought in you head that any minute, they will just dump you again. Theres so many fish in the sea, how will they ever know you are the best.
amandalost Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 My husband was having an affair for about a month when he left. That was on the 2nd July. He soon realised that the GIG after 2 weeks with this woman but I told him I never wanted him back. He then started a relationship with someone else and after a couple of weeks he said that nobody compared to me. He contacted me out the blue on the 22nd August which would have been our 5th year wedding anniversary. We didn't actually see each other until the beginning of October but we were in contact weekly from August. I realized I wanted to give our relationship another chance by the end of October as I think he had some sort of break down as the behaviours he was showing from March - Aug just wasn't my husband. Since then we have taken it really slow and like I said previously you will know in your heart of heart if your ex partner really wants to make it work. I don't know what is going to happen with us as it is still early days but so far so good. He is also doing all the right things like reassuring me, if his phones goes off before I ask he is telling me who is messaging him etc etc. 2013 has been a rough year for everyone and I just think the number 13 is unlucky. My marriage was perfect before this happened and if someone ever asked me if my husband would ever cheat I would bet my life he wouldn't. When we split up people were in shock as we were a perfect couple and everything was perfect. But obviously it wasn't we did get stuck in a rut and have learn t lessons from what went wrong. Someone once said to me you could end up in another relationship where the person cheats so sometimes it is better the devil you know and sticking with what you know. Watch this space for me at least
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