mattyp Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Hey everyone ive posted on here about my relationship so ill make a long story short. My ex of 5 years broke up with me 3 months ago. We have a kid together. It was a pretty bad breakup i was caught by surprise. We were to be married in june but could not afford it till next year. No contact obviously is hard since we have a kid. Now for pretty much the whole time ive tried and tried to get her back with much anger received. "Leave me alone, dont talk to me, move on" yadda yadda. I still miss her madly. Now as of the past 2 weeks shes been nicer and no more hateful stuff. Ive rather given up and havent attempted in a month. Saw her yesterday xmas eve drop off my son and i wished her merry xmas went in for a hug and yeah like i had coodies. Then i looked down at her phone and saw a pic on her cover of some dude who she said was her "friend" . Shes contacted me more and im looking for hope but not trying for her but i want her back! Help!
TylerDurdenn Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Matty sorry bro she's not coming back, she's only trying to be civil for the sake of your kid. I'm in the same boat(ish), we're old news, there is greener grass out there.. Apparently. Keep your chin up.
Author mattyp Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 I was thinking that too. But y all the sudden? She told me last thursday that she "cant open up to me and give me the relationship you want right now....but were not getting back together"
hermitinator Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I was thinking that too. But y all the sudden? She told me last thursday that she "cant open up to me and give me the relationship you want right now....but were not getting back together" She gave you the answer that you are looking for: "...we're not getting back together". There is nothing more. If someone wants you back, they will approach you.
Author mattyp Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 Ugh... But why say right now? Just a wall and be nice to see how i would react?
Author mattyp Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 Am i still in denial? What a good sign if she was interested? Or testing me?
notthathard Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Am i still in denial? What a good sign if she was interested? Or testing me? Yeah I think your still in denial. Body language is the only way I'm able to tell. Words come out opposite/wrong way for many people.
Survivor12 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Ugh... But why say right now? Just a wall and be nice to see how i would react? Because right now, she's got a thing for another guy.
Kizza Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 she "cant open up to me and give me the relationship you want right now....but were not getting back together" Translation: I am not available to you any-more. We are done. My heart is somewhere else... sorry... but it's simple. If she wanted to work things out then she would. Instead, she says she can't . Whatever the reason...she says she cannot
Author mattyp Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Is there anything i can do? Should i apologize for some of the stuff.i did to hurt her? Anything?
Author mattyp Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 Anything i can try to get her attraction bàck anything at all?
BC1980 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 There's nothing you can do, and I understand the helpless feeling. It's human nature to want to do something to try to fix it. One thing you must accept is that just because you feel a certain way does not mean she does. That's been especially hard for me because my ex was always very affectionate with me and acted so in love. How could he have said and acted a certain way yet also dumped me? It's a bitter pill to swallow.
Author mattyp Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 3 months and it is still so hard to accept. Having contact because of my son doesnt help. I thought we were happy doing well then the next day poof out of knowwhere. I made one last attempt for anything like a date the other day and it wasnt greeted well. Dont understand how u wake up and go yup im done. Very hard pill to swallow. Ive had "friends" but im an empty soul and i hate it
BC1980 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 My heart goes out to you. I understand completely. All if a sudden, your life changes, and you are left to pick up the pieces. You can't fight it even though I tried. All you can do is accept it and try to pick up the pieces.
drallafi Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Anything i can try to get her attraction bàck anything at all? Sorry man, but outside of winning the lottery or acquiring super-powers, there's nothing you can do. It's over. As far as it being 3 months and it "still hurts" well that's normal. 3 months is nothing, it will probably take a year or longer before you feel normal again. Unfortunately NC isn't going to work because of your kid. I don't envy your situation, but I promise you will get better eventually. There will be a day when you look back on this and laugh at how upset you were over losing her. Good luck, and hang in there.
Author mattyp Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 I really dont know y i love this girl so much. she is mean as all hell. makes communicating over my son horrible. nice one minute then rotten the next. how do u go from lovey one day to poof super cruel rotten beep and stick with it to this day. Were both struggling so hrd to make ends meet since the break up. so to me im thinking was it realy worth throwing away everything we had cuz life was stressful. now its worse..her emotions control her and i just want to break her wall down again. buti cant get close enough
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