runningfar Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I mean when walking down the street or out in public somewhere. I have used that line that I have a boyfriend and some are not phased and keep asking for my number. Thay keep walking with me even though I tell them that I'm in a rush. It's annoying to say the least. I have only found one solution and that is to give them a fake number. Anything I could say that's more effective? As far as I'm concerned, if someone doesn't stop after you tell them you're in a relationship, you can be as rude to them as you want because they don't respect boundaries. But you could just say, "Not interested." I wore a wedding band for the two years after my divorce where I didn't want to date anyone. I pointed to it when approached (and was approached waaaaaaayyyyy less than once I took it off) and if they continued I would not by nice as is typical of me. Though with my engagement ring on now, I get approached fairly seldomly again, do the same thing, and I again worry less about being polite to anyone willing to ignore it. (And I see not wanting to date from a cold approach. I like to know someone first and they seldom want to be friends first approaching you that way)
man_in_the_box Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Boyrfriend line never works, it's the same for men when they are approached by crooks trying to sell prostitution. Just walk along and /ignore.
Kate9292 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I assume most guys who approach me out of the blue want to get with me. For beginning I don't care and let them entertain me with some flirting if that's really what they do. If they are attractive and make me feel good, I enjoy it for a few minutes and then excuse myself without taking or giving phone number. If they are so smitten with me, they don't even notice until it's too late. If they are not attractive, I'm usually abrupt but not outright reject them until they push. I tend to hope they take a hint, but if they don't make me feel good, they tend to be more clueless and need to be said "Sorry, not interested". If they still persist, I make a scene like "Get lost, you creep!" and walk away quickly, because they make me very uncomfortable. Usually I say it loud so some people hear and even notice. Guy must feel pretty bad after that. Maybe he will think twice next time.
ThatMan Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Step #1 - Broaden your horizons and learn ASL. Step #2 - Without speaking, offer a puzzled look to the men hitting on you. Communicate using sign. Step #3 - If the previous steps fail, tell them to go away. Step #4 - Make a scene. Start screaming at him that Chuck, your butch lesbian lover is coming, and that Chuck doesn't take kindly to other men who get up into her business. Good luck. 1
ltjg45 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 So....another lesson I have learned today is that cold approaching is a very bad idea that can get really ugly for me. Yeah. I will keep that in mind from now on.
Badsingularity Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 So....another lesson I have learned today is that cold approaching is a very bad idea that can get really ugly for me. Yeah. I will keep that in mind from now on. If a woman rejected your polite normal approach with anything other then a polite normal rejection you wouldn't want to be with her anyway. 3
Onethirtyeight Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 If a woman rejected your polite normal approach with anything other then a polite normal rejection you wouldn't want to be with her anyway. You still end up getting yelled at by some crazy woman and everyone looks at the man and assumes he did something wrong. I can't imagine that would be fun. Fortunately I've never encountered a woman insane enough to do that. 1
Eau Claire Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 So....another lesson I have learned today is that cold approaching is a very bad idea that can get really ugly for me. Yeah. I will keep that in mind from now on. If a woman or anyone else is rude to you, then don't let it control your future behaviour. This thread is about a specific issue. There could also be the reverse...how to 'accept' andwelcome being approached without coming across as 'too easy'. We woman are often in a Catch 22 situation...want to be caught but can't let the guy know we want to be caught.
ltjg45 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 If a woman rejected your polite normal approach with anything other then a polite normal rejection you wouldn't want to be with her anyway. Yeah but I don't need to be made a fool at my expense either. If all I had to worry about just rejection, I would have no issues with that. However, I have to worry about more than that as this thread shows me: facing the wrath of a crazy woman, being embarrassed in public.....or worse. That doesn't sound like risks worth taking.
Eau Claire Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Yeah but I don't need to be made a fool at my expense either. If all I had to worry about just rejection, I would have no issues with that. However, I have to worry about more than that as this thread shows me: facing the wrath of a crazy woman, being embarrassed in public.....or worse. That doesn't sound like risks worth taking. It's good that you are aware of your limitations. There are other ways to meet women..OLD, through a friend, activity, etc. Some guys are good at cold approaches.. They are more confident and less obsessed with rejection or what others think. In general women are attracted to confident men. However, I can understand if a fellow was less than enthused about striking up a conversation with a strange woman. I sure would have a hard time if I was a guy. A lot easier just to make eye contact and smile and hope he has the confidence to approach.
ktya Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Yeah I dont know why some women feel the need to crush a guys soul when rejecting him. I could see it if he was being a creepy prick and not getting the message, but some women seem to enjoy crushing his soul. It's quite easy to say, "Thank you for the offer, but you are not my type. you seem nice though, I'm sure you'll find a great girl to go out with." Take it as a compliment and gracefully reject him. It takes a lot of balls to cold approach a girl.
ktya Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 As a guy, I have met a lot of people in random situations (line up for films, events, etc) and I have become really hesitant now because I feel like I could be "misreading" the signals. I have had a few situations where girls seemed so nice and friendly when I asked and received there number but then when I called them or texted them I didn't hear back from them. I would have rather the girl be less friendly or when I asked for their number that they made it clear they weren't interested. A1 my man. There was this girl at the beer store that I go to who I have been flirting playfully with for like 3 years. I broke up with my girlfriend and waited a month or so and figured I'd ask her out, I asked her out to dinner. She told me she liked cheeseburgers so I said I'd take her out for a cheeseburger. She razzed me as to when she was getting her cheeseburger and after a few weeks of this I straight up asked her if she was ever going to call me to get that cheeseburger, she said all I had to do was bring it to her? I told her well I'd like to at least eat it with you and then she told me she had a boyfriend. What a waste of frigging time she should have told me that when I first asked her out and despite talking to her in small chat and playful flirts for years she never even mentioned the boyfriend in passing. Girls who do this are straight up annoying. If you tell me you're not interested, in a relationship, not interested in dating anyone right now, not interested in people my age, whatever. At least then I'll stop flirting and hitting on you and direct my attention elsewhere.
TB Rhine Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 That chick was definitely playing games. Don't read too much into the flirtatious behavior of customer service people, as a rule - they are essentially paid to be nice to you, and a dozen or so guys who wanna **ck them equals a dozen or so reliable repeat customers.
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