nescafe1982 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 "I'm flattered, but not interested." Don't stop walking. If they pursue, repeat once more. But only once more. Then keep walking. After a couple blocks, they should get the hint. I've never been a fan of using "I have a boyfriend" as a way out of this one. My lack of interest is reason enough... they don't need to have another man's credentials to understand that. Also, I used "I have a boyfriend" once with a persistent Lebanese man in Beirut once, and it only made him pursue me more. I think he thought that was code for "I have premarital sex." Not so effective at running him off. 1
mario_C Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) Talking to a woman you don't know is dangerous, and a man needs to expect to be cut down, so the woman being short and to the point would at least be the decent thing to do, even if it's not respected right off. Edited December 26, 2013 by mario_C forget it 1
Antenna_Of_Destiny Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) Get some mirrored sunglasses. The kind where onlookers cannot see your eyes and only see their reflection. Moo like a cow. When a woman moos like a cow or neighs like a donkey that is my cue to leave. Edited December 26, 2013 by Antenna_Of_Destiny 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Get some mirrored sunglasses. The kind where onlookers cannot see your eyes and only see their reflection. Moo like a cow. When a woman moos like a cow or neighs like a donkey that is my cue to leave. to me a woman making that noise sounds like she's just had a massive orgasm. at that point it's a little too late to be getting the man down easy
irc333 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I am curious as to why a woman would be on a a 'Dating" message board to get advice on how to keep men AWAY from her?? I mean when walking down the street or out in public somewhere. I have used that line that I have a boyfriend and some are not phased and keep asking for my number. Thay keep walking with me even though I tell them that I'm in a rush. It's annoying to say the least. I have only found one solution and that is to give them a fake number. Anything I could say that's more effective?
Conners Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I don't think anyone has asked me for my number just randomly walking down the street haha, you must be hot! I have spun a few lies to sleazy guys in clubs etc. Told them I was 16, told them my older brother is around, pretend to be a lesbian, act uninterested in general. If after all that and they wouldn't give up i'd think they were a stalker and run far away haha.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 I've actually had guys call the number right in front of me to make sure it's real. I try to be polite, but if they're going to be aggressive, they're going to have to suck it up and accept an assertive, honest, NO. This is fair, but not always prudent. I don't want to p*** off some random guy and make enemies unnecessarily. OMG I had that too! One guy called me right up and I was actually holding my phone so it was obvious that mine didn't ring. Then he started cursing and it kind of scared me. My problem is also a personal safety issue. If it's not a street with too many people I don't want to piss the guy off by telling him "I am not interested". That was kind of what happened on Christmas eve. This guy started hitting on me out of nowhere, complimenting me and asking me for my number. Considering the situation (semi dark, not many people around) - I actually gave him a real number. He called me on the spot and seemed satisfied that it's he real and left me alone. Unfortunately, I got 11 missed calls on Christmas day and multiple texts I am just ignoring it all. I think I will give "the broken record approach" next.
Els Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 OMG I had that too! One guy called me right up and I was actually holding my phone so it was obvious that mine didn't ring. Then he started cursing and it kind of scared me. My problem is also a personal safety issue. If it's not a street with too many people I don't want to piss the guy off by telling him "I am not interested". That was kind of what happened on Christmas eve. This guy started hitting on me out of nowhere, complimenting me and asking me for my number. Considering the situation (semi dark, not many people around) - I actually gave him a real number. He called me on the spot and seemed satisfied that it's he real and left me alone. Unfortunately, I got 11 missed calls on Christmas day and multiple texts I am just ignoring it all. I think I will give "the broken record approach" next. I hate to go all nanny on you, but... maybe it might be a good idea to try and avoid these sorts of situations whenever possible? I mean, if someone is drunk and aggressively hitting on you in the dark in a lonely place, how do you even know which responses will or won't phase him? You could have a public relations expert feed you a line and he might still endanger you. Take a cab home?
Lansing Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I would rather know if that girl isn't interested... Just say "sorry, I don't give out my number to people".. Don't give out a fake number or give out a number without intention of answering the phone if you aren't interested. As a guy, I have met a lot of people in random situations (line up for films, events, etc) and I have become really hesitant now because I feel like I could be "misreading" the signals. I have had a few situations where girls seemed so nice and friendly when I asked and received there number but then when I called them or texted them I didn't hear back from them. I would have rather the girl be less friendly or when I asked for their number that they made it clear they weren't interested. If it is something where you are walking along the street... one tip would be to just keep walking.. It is the same way I deal with those pesky "fundraisers" on the street. Don't engage in conversation at all. Just keep walking. Yeah, some guys might keep trying but just keep walking. 1
mario_C Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I hate to go all nanny on you, but... maybe it might be a good idea to try and avoid these sorts of situations whenever possible? I mean, if someone is drunk and aggressively hitting on you in the dark in a lonely place, how do you even know which responses will or won't phase him? You could have a public relations expert feed you a line and he might still endanger you. Take a cab home? So women should avoid the street because some men are rude, aggressive and potentially crazy?
Els Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 So women should avoid the street because some men are rude, aggressive and potentially crazy? I would encourage any women I care about to avoid walking by themselves on lonely streets late in the night, especially on a night where many people get drunk, yes. You may have noticed that there is no 'should' in my previous post (it's preposterous to tell an adult what they should or should not do), merely a suggestion. If you have a problem with that, I don't really give a damn, sorry. 2
johan Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 The best response is probably to look confused and then make some remarks in a Slavic language, if you know one. 3
Antenna_Of_Destiny Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 to me a woman making that noise sounds like she's just had a massive orgasm. at that point it's a little too late to be getting the man down easy Really? Anyone else share this sentiment? Where can I find women who moo like cows or neigh like donkeys when they orgasm? A woman I know moos loudly like a cow when a guy tries to kiss her but she doesn't want to, it has always worked for her.
FitChick Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 The best response is probably to look confused and then make some remarks in a Slavic language, if you know one. I've done something similar where I speak in a fake accent of indeterminate origin, "Sorry, no English" and smile and shrug my shoulders. My college roommate was learning American Sign Language and she'd pretend she was deaf, making grunting noises and signing. She enjoyed their embarrassment.
Eau Claire Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Regardless of my status at the time: 'Thank you for asking but I have a boyfriend'. Used it a thousand times. If a guy starts to chat me up I just bring my boyfriend into the conversation. Something like 'thanks for the compliment my boyfriend gaveme the sweater for my Birthday' It stops the question coming up. Never had any issues. I must live where people are normal.
TB Rhine Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Any guy with half a brain (or a modicum of self-respect) knows that when MY BOYFRIEND suddenly becomes every third and fourth word out of a girl's mouth, she's not interested. I think the sad truth is, there's no way to reject someone that won't possibly cause offense, nor to shut a guy down that some won't try to bulldoze their way through. There's no perfect or foolproof solution to this problem. The best you can do is try a four-part approach: first allow the guy an opportunity to save face and avoid being explicitly rejected (by casually mentioning a fictitious boyfriend, asking for his number rather than giving him yours, etc.); if that fails, politely indicate that you are not available or not interested; if THAT fails, do so more bluntly; if even THAT fails, be rude. Why should you be beholden to observe the social niceties when the person you're talking to is steadfastly refusing to do so?
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 The best response is probably to look confused and then make some remarks in a Slavic language, if you know one. Huh Slavic language? Sometimes johan I really don't know where you get these ideas from.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 earphones! Even if there's no music I always wear them, makes no difference
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 I am curious as to why a woman would be on a a 'Dating" message board to get advice on how to keep men AWAY from her?? Umm because these are the men I'm not interested in?
TB Rhine Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Ultimately, if a woman goes out in public men are going to approach her. It's just the cost of doing business. You're not entitled to have other people pretend that you're invisible just because you'd prefer it that way, and a man you're not interested in is no more committing an egregious faux pas by approaching you than one you are interested in would do. This is why you try to politely extricate yourself from the situation; if he doesn't allow you to do so, then he is the one who has socially transgressed, and is no longer entitled to expect politeness from you.
antonio1149 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) I've done something similar where I speak in a fake accent of indeterminate origin, "Sorry, no English" and smile and shrug my shoulders. My college roommate was learning American Sign Language and she'd pretend she was deaf, making grunting noises and signing. She enjoyed their embarrassment. So, if you're lucky enough to be born attractive, and a guy approaches you (which he's required to do if he wants female companionship), then rejecting and embarrassing him should be a source of enjoyment? That seems a little cold-hearted, no? Edited December 27, 2013 by antonio1149 3
CrystalCastles Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 The best response is probably to look confused and then make some remarks in a Slavic language, if you know one. Oo! That's where my Russian will come in handy. (I'm fluent in it). Imagine the confused look on his face when I start my rapid firing away! I'm surprised I must say, ES. People in my city aren't so aggressive when cold-approaching. @antonio- I'm pretty sure if you got hit on everywhere you went, and the girls hitting on you couldn't take a f*cking hint, you'd be annoyed too. ES may have been born gorgeous, but being hit on all the time gets old. Especially when you want to get rid of some slimy guy on the street who won't leave you alone.
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