Eternal Sunshine Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I mean when walking down the street or out in public somewhere. I have used that line that I have a boyfriend and some are not phased and keep asking for my number. Thay keep walking with me even though I tell them that I'm in a rush. It's annoying to say the least. I have only found one solution and that is to give them a fake number. Anything I could say that's more effective?
crederer Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 If you gave them the boyfriend line and they still following you, it's pretty safe to say they're not going to take a hint. If it gets to that stage just tell them straight up, "not at all interested, go away". 1
regine_phalange Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I've never encountered such pushovers! But if I want to get away from someone in the street who seems creepy, I start talking in my mother language, pretending I don't understand what they say. 1
Bigcitydreamer Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I've always used the I have a boyfriend line. It's the easiest way in my opinion. I'd feel bad to say to someone's face I'm not interested.
antonio1149 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I mean when walking down the street or out in public somewhere. I have used that line that I have a boyfriend and some are not phased and keep asking for my number. Thay keep walking with me even though I tell them that I'm in a rush. It's annoying to say the least. I have only found one solution and that is to give them a fake number. Anything I could say that's more effective? You could use the "broken record technique," which is often taught in assertiveness training and for use by customer service people in dealing with irate, persistent customers. You just state the same objection over and over, but in a calm, firm voice. Him: Hey babe, you look hot--what's your number? You: Thanks, but I don't give my number out to strangers. Him: Oh come on, we could have a really nice time together. You: I'm sure you're loads of fun, but I just don't give my number out to strangers. Him: Well, if we spend a little time together, we won't be strangers any more. You: Really, it's nothing personal, but I don't give my number out to strangers. etc. etc. 5
Mrlonelyone Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 You could just tell them that you aren't interested in them. Contrary to popular belife most men will just take that at face value. In fact be legalistic about it. Say I am not interested in you and if you keep talking to me I'm going to scream rape, fire, blooddy murder and call the police. That will make 99.9% of men back away and probably think you are looney...but you aren't interested so you don't care. You could/should use the line I gave you after being more polite about it. The passive aggressive indirect way of doing things makes men 10x angrier than just being honest and direct. 1
Eggplant Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I've actually had guys call the number right in front of me to make sure it's real. I try to be polite, but if they're going to be aggressive, they're going to have to suck it up and accept an assertive, honest, NO. This is fair, but not always prudent. I don't want to p*** off some random guy and make enemies unnecessarily.
PinkInTheLimo Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Why use the boyfriend line? Does that mean that these guys are entitled to bother you when you don't have a boyfriend. Why not simply tell me that you don't want the attention of these guys. If anything like this happens to me I give such a guy a loud "f!ck you". That has the advantage of 1) getting the anger towards this guy out of my system 2) draw the attention of bystanders to the scene who immediately feel sympathy for the harrassed woman.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Coming from a guy that will pick up women in public I'd say I'd like to just be told they're not interested. I'm not going to be offended and there is no way I'm going to take that the wrong way. I'd be pretty put off by you saying you have a bf but some guys are more pushy.
regine_phalange Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I'm not sure I'd advice my daughter (if I had one) to provoke someone with humiliating them in any way. What if the guy is a psycho, carries a knife and takes rejection too personally? One has to be very careful I think. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 In fact, the boyfriend line is IMO the least effective thing a woman can say. It is common knowledge that it means a woman is either not interested, and some women use it to test a man's mettle. By which I mean there are women who want a man who isn't going to be afraid that they have a boyfriend. One other thing you could try, wear a wedding ring even if you aren't married. It sounds a bit odd, but plenty of single people over a certain age do that so as not to have to deal with the social problems being single can cause. One Reason to Wear a Wedding Ring Even If You're Single | The Stir One more thing. Why all the anger that a man dares to approach you? Think how it would feel to never ever get approached, ever.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I'm not sure I'd advice my daughter (if I had one) to provoke someone with humiliating them in any way. What if the guy is a psycho, carries a knife and takes rejection too personally? One has to be very careful I think. That is very unlikely. In fact a woman is more likely to say yes to the psycho and bring him home to dinner. (see all the threads about nice guys vs bad boys and the literature about cads vs dads and the "dark triad personality". One of those traits... psycopathy Psychology Uncovers Sex Appeal of Dark Personalities: Scientific American )
RedRobin Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 That is very unlikely. In fact a woman is more likely to say yes to the psycho and bring him home to dinner. (see all the threads about nice guys vs bad boys and the literature about cads vs dads and the "dark triad personality". One of those traits... psycopathy Psychology Uncovers Sex Appeal of Dark Personalities: Scientific American ) ... and yet another reason why it is a good idea to ignore the so-called 'spark' when you first meet someone. They could very well be a sociopath or a psychopath... or at the very least, just good at leaving positive first impressions. ... but to your question, OP... I always tell them that I don't give my number to strangers and don't date strangers. Which is true. I don't.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I'm not sure I'd advice my daughter (if I had one) to provoke someone with humiliating them in any way. What if the guy is a psycho, carries a knife and takes rejection too personally? One has to be very careful I think. Well you got to think of it from the point of view of the guy who's randomly approaching women. He's fine with failure, he might not be expecting it but he has to know its not a possibility.
FitChick Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 "Thank you for your interest, but I'm not available." If he still bugs you for your number, "Why don't I give you my boyfriend's number so you can ask him for my number?" Just keep walking and ignoring. 1
jba10582 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 say whatever comes to mind. I am a guy, but I can imagine actually having fun with the situation, that If you clearly showed no interest to a guy or even "cold" to him and he approaches then you can simply have fun with it and maybe even amuse yourself. Tell him you have aids, tell him you are shopping for your great grand kids, tell him you "see dead people", or you can't because your on some meds, tell him you're dating Abraham Lincoln, or anything completely bizarre....I would love to see the reactions on their faces. 2
rocketman122 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 nicest-im flattered have bf annoying-not interesting pita-piss off
FitChick Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Give them the number of the nearest police station. 1
GemmaUK Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 You could use the "broken record technique," which is often taught in assertiveness training and for use by customer service people in dealing with irate, persistent customers. You just state the same objection over and over, but in a calm, firm voice. Him: Hey babe, you look hot--what's your number? You: Thanks, but I don't give my number out to strangers. Him: Oh come on, we could have a really nice time together. You: I'm sure you're loads of fun, but I just don't give my number out to strangers. Him: Well, if we spend a little time together, we won't be strangers any more. You: Really, it's nothing personal, but I don't give my number out to strangers. etc. etc. Do this ^^^^^ Never ever do this VVVV You could just tell them that you aren't interested in them. Contrary to popular belife most men will just take that at face value. In fact be legalistic about it. ^^^^ will just increase the hassle you will get. I am slightly miffed as to why someone would suggest this response to be honest. Most men do not take this at face value, see it as an insult and then will want to 'get you back'.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 "Thank you for your interest, but I'm not available." If he still bugs you for your number, "Why don't I give you my boyfriend's number so you can ask him for my number?" Just keep walking and ignoring. IMO that second part is more confrontational and might make it sound like she/you are taking a tone. Which is offensive. Like I said before its not really offensive to just tell the truth and say you're not interested and keep saying that if it becomes a problem. With that some guys are going to take it the "I have a boyfriend" as an indirect "I'd consider you if I were single".
Eggplant Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Is there a better way you would want to be approached? I'm just starting to get my nerve up to do such an act.. otherwise I'm never going to get a girlfriend. I would advise allowing for a non-awkward, face-saving way for the woman to say no, just in case. Simply ask for her number, saying you'd like to give her a call. But don't dial the number right there in front of her to make sure it's not fake. Call once and leave a message. Invite her to a specific place at a specific time. Do not ask her when she is free.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 ^^^^ will just increase the hassle you will get. I am slightly miffed as to why someone would suggest this response to be honest. Most men do not take this at face value, see it as an insult and then will want to 'get you back'. Replace most with a really small minority. We're talking cold approch here, not a preexisting relationship, not many people are going to go into that expecting success. Now maybe some drunk dude in a bar is going get belligerent but its better than lying to some some sane looking sober dude.
Imported Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Just say no. Maintain a total look of dis-interest. Don't be mean, but don't try to be nice. Trying to be nice is mistaken for....."I got a chance!" for some guys. Ignore them, walk away, be final about it. The conversation is over. 2
MissBee Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I mean when walking down the street or out in public somewhere. I have used that line that I have a boyfriend and some are not phased and keep asking for my number. Thay keep walking with me even though I tell them that I'm in a rush. It's annoying to say the least. I have only found one solution and that is to give them a fake number. Anything I could say that's more effective? I usually say I have a boyfriend or if they keep persisting I ask to take their number instead of giving them mine and that usually ends it, unless they ask me to call them right then and there so they can have my number too.
truth_seeker Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 "Thank you for your interest, but I'm not available." I like this one. Other suggestions: - I just got out of a relationship... I'm not interested in anyone right now. Sorry. - I'm married. I don't wear my ring. - I'm a lesbian. Men turn me off.
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