magicmoon Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I am here... because I have no one to turn to I'm so alone and so ****ing hurt. I don't know how to begin. I started dating this guy last year (we datet for almost 1 year). It was like a dream come true... I was so happy to finnaly have someone who took nice care of me and showed me his love. We shared simmilar interest, the same sense of humour...it was so nice and fun. It wasn't perfect... One day he told me that his heart is frozen (because of one of his exes), and that it will stay that way. But that he still loves me. I didn't know what to think. Everything was ok... but we started drifting apart. I desperately tried to make it work.... but at the end, he broke it off (via tex). He said that he really hoped that it would work out, but it wasn't happening. That he is not capable of beeing in a relatinship and loving someone... I agreed with it... and that was it. He later contacted me, we were talking a lot lately (more than ever before). But I haven't heard from him in a week and I'm trying so hard to keep away from him. I don't want to seem desperate. It has been already 4 months. I have done everything I could... I have thrown myself into studyes, I started taking driving classes. I even went travelling by myself. It all feels nice. But I miss him so much. I cry everyday, **** I even cry now. I still love him Why is this happening? I don't think that I am a bad person or that I was a bad girlfriend. We matched so well, but at the end... he chosed to leave. How can someone just leave you... like that. Like it was nothing, like I am nothing? After all those moments we shared... I don't get it I feel so unlovable and I have lost hope in love. It HURTS and I can't take it anymore. Like everyday, it's heartbreak all over again. I guess I just needed to vent.
LostConfused123 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I am here... because I have no one to turn to I'm so alone and so ****ing hurt. I don't know how to begin. I started dating this guy last year (we datet for almost 1 year). It was like a dream come true... I was so happy to finnaly have someone who took nice care of me and showed me his love. We shared simmilar interest, the same sense of humour...it was so nice and fun. It wasn't perfect... One day he told me that his heart is frozen (because of one of his exes), and that it will stay that way. But that he still loves me. I didn't know what to think. Everything was ok... but we started drifting apart. I desperately tried to make it work.... but at the end, he broke it off (via tex). He said that he really hoped that it would work out, but it wasn't happening. That he is not capable of beeing in a relatinship and loving someone... I agreed with it... and that was it. He later contacted me, we were talking a lot lately (more than ever before). But I haven't heard from him in a week and I'm trying so hard to keep away from him. I don't want to seem desperate. It has been already 4 months. I have done everything I could... I have thrown myself into studyes, I started taking driving classes. I even went travelling by myself. It all feels nice. But I miss him so much. I cry everyday, **** I even cry now. I still love him Why is this happening? I don't think that I am a bad person or that I was a bad girlfriend. We matched so well, but at the end... he chosed to leave. How can someone just leave you... like that. Like it was nothing, like I am nothing? After all those moments we shared... I don't get it I feel so unlovable and I have lost hope in love. It HURTS and I can't take it anymore. Like everyday, it's heartbreak all over again. I guess I just needed to vent. Your story is so similar to mine. The way I felt about him, how much I miss him, how upsetting it is, how I was just suddenly "cut off" I'm so sorry you're going through this! I didn't think I would EVER feel better but hardcore NC has helped immensely! It will help you too. Stay strong! It slowly gets better. ((hugs!!))
Author magicmoon Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 The thing is... I dont want to get over him I love him too ****ing much, and I want him back. But obviously, its not happening. I cant make anyone love me this is literally the worst feeling ever, its tearing me apart from yhr inside, knowing that I am obviously not good enough to keep a man that I love Sometimes I want to just... die I want do it, because my parebts would be devastated. But I cant stop thinking... about the only thibg that would end this pain
FortunateSon Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 As a guy, I am in a similar situation, but on the other side of the fence. I still haven't healed from my last relationship and have found it hard to connect with the woman I recently started dating. She is everything I could hope for from a woman, but have found that my heart too is "frozen" like you mentioned and I am not able to give myself to her as she would like. I have given it an honest go because I like her a lot and have told her how I felt. You should appreciate that it has nothing to do with you, these are his own issues he is dealing with. All though it hurts, he is doing you a favor; he is not ready to be the person you want him to be. Going no contact would be the best thing to do for you to heal. Move forward like he is not going to come back, and if someday he does, it will be a bonus and you will also be healed and ready for it.
LostConfused123 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 The thing is... I dont want to get over him I love him too ****ing much, and I want him back. But obviously, its not happening. I cant make anyone love me this is literally the worst feeling ever, its tearing me apart from yhr inside, knowing that I am obviously not good enough to keep a man that I love Sometimes I want to just... die I want do it, because my parebts would be devastated. But I cant stop thinking... about the only thibg that would end this pain Time will end this pain. I promise! YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!!! Don't ever think you aren't!! I felt the same way. My self esteem was shattered but it has NOTHING to do with us! One guy out of millions rejected us. . . . it will get better! Stay strong because we are all here for you!
Author magicmoon Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 How did you get over it? I am 19, I always thought how strong am I. Then one guy dupmps me, and even 4 months later, I can not stop crying. And there is no one in real life, that I could tell what I feel. Everyone thinks I'm ok. But I just want to go out and scream! I am so desperate for someone who could listen to me, hug me and give me some advice. Without judging me I had my heart broken before, but it was different. My first bf was a total douchebag. He lied, cheated and dumped me for another woman. I took him back one year later and lost my virginity to him. He dumped me the day after and called me all kinds of names. After that... I just got over him, because knew I deserved better... But then I got the best that I could possibly hope for...for the first time in my life I actually wanted someone with all my heart, I just felt it in my bones...that he is the one for me, that this is the realationship I want. I wanted to make it work, and I tried so hard How do you get over that?
LostConfused123 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 How did you get over it? I am 19, I always thought how strong am I. Then one guy dupmps me, and even 4 months later, I can not stop crying. And there is no one in real life, that I could tell what I feel. Everyone thinks I'm ok. But I just want to go out and scream! I am so desperate for someone who could listen to me, hug me and give me some advice. Without judging me I had my heart broken before, but it was different. My first bf was a total douchebag. He lied, cheated and dumped me for another woman. I took him back one year later and lost my virginity to him. He dumped me the day after and called me all kinds of names. After that... I just got over him, because knew I deserved better... But then I got the best that I could possibly hope for...for the first time in my life I actually wanted someone with all my heart, I just felt it in my bones...that he is the one for me, that this is the realationship I want. I wanted to make it work, and I tried so hard How do you get over that? I'm still not over it but I know I will be. I have had my heart broken before and I NEVER thought I would get over it and love again.....yet here I am at 41 years old with yet another heartbreak. I personally don't think it gets any easier with age but the one comfort I do have now is I know I'll get over it and the pain will end one day. 1
Author magicmoon Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 Thank you for the kind responses... I really admire your positive attitude wish I could do the same. Probably it will take a lot of time for me to get there....
LostConfused123 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Thank you for the kind responses... I really admire your positive attitude wish I could do the same. Probably it will take a lot of time for me to get there.... You will get there too I'm still really hurt over this last guy so I know how you feel. Especially today. I was afraid I would be really sad and cry a lot. So far I just feel numb. Not sure if that's good or bad. I'm a little relieved the holidays are almost over. You will feel SOOOOO much better in just a few weeks if you do NC. As hard as it is, it really helps. It's tough going through it but once you get a few weeks behind you, it gets easier. ((hugs!!))
LostConfused123 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 By the way, we are all here for you! This site has really helped with the healing process. Lots of smart and compassionate people here. Hang in there!
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