NGC1300 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I'm almost 30. If I advance on women as young as 22, will that be seen as creepy?
Still-I-Rise Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 According to my daughters - 19 and 21 - the rule is half your age plus seven years. They said 22 is just on the cusp of creepiness but okay for you to pursue.
theothersully Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 (edited) Ha! I'm almost 40 and have been seeing/hanging out with one of the most attractive 22 yo women in all of Miami since shortly after my divorce. (sure wish we could post pics!! ) This girl has guys lined up around the block hoping for a chance to talk to her. Next week, I again go to see her for some good times and ridiculously good sex. We have great chemistry and share a lot of interests. We know there is no future due to the age gap and see other people as well. The approx 18 year age gap doesn't mean a thing. I even hooked up with another very attractive 19yo in NYC 2 weeks ago and am seeing her again in 2 weeks. It's all how you present yourself and who you are as a person. If you are with it, you can go younger. If you are an old stick in the mud type, anything like their dad, it'll come off creepy. Edited December 25, 2013 by theothersully
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I'm almost 30. If I advance on women as young as 22, will that be seen as creepy? No, that's normal. A study was done about 20 years ago, asking men to cite the age of a woman most ideal for mating. And men of all ages gave all sorts of answers, but they had to 'normalize' the answers to suit everybody, so they assembled the data and concluded that the average answer to what is the optimum age in a woman suitable for dating, in the minds of men, is "half his own age plus seven years". So your soon-to-be 30 is right-on "22".
Silly_Girl Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Depends on where you each are in your life cycle. It could be creepy, or it could be barely perceptible. 1
slyk1970 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I don't think it's creepy. Mu husband was 10 years older than me & in my only other serious relationship the gentleman was 11 years older than me & I was 19 at the time.
Avulare Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 In general, my cutoff for creepy is when he's old enough to have fathered me (~15 years older). 1
aussietigerwolf Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 If they're old enough to be my dad then that's creepy
nerd Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 If the girl is attracted to the guy, there is no creepy. I've seen early 20s girls with mid 50s, happily banging away. Didn't get the appeal then, still don't, but there you go. Give it a shot, she might say yes. It's just like all those girls who go after unattractive losers, you never know what will happen 1
EasyHeart Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I agree that it's creepy whenever one of the two people involved thinks it's creepy. For some people, a one-year age gap is creepy, for others a 30 year gap is fine. Live your life and don't worry about what other people think. 2
Silly_Girl Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 For some people, a one-year age gap is creepy, What circumstance would that be?
Silly_Girl Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 If one is the other's tutor then, to me, it's creepy. If one had children young (a 30 year old may have a 10, 12 yr old), has lived a lot, had significant relationships, and has only friends their age or older, and the younger party is a student living with parents who perhaps doesn't drive, doesn't earn, and has only lightly dated, then I'd personally find that way too much of a gap.
melodymatters Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 When is a white person dating a black person creepy ? When is a jew dating a christian creepy ? When is a homosexual dating someone of the same gender creepy ? I'm sure most intelligent people would say none of the above are creepy and that if two adults love each other and are kind to each other and harm no on else it is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately despite the fact that in my experience age ( after adulthood) has little to do with maturity or the ability to be a healthy partner and create a healthy, happy relationship, it is one of the last acceptable prejudices. The fact that people feel they have a right to judge my wonderful, supportive marriage based on our birth certificates is what is F-ING CREEPY !!! 1
carhill Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 When does age gap become "creepy"? OP, in your example, IMO there's nothing remotely creepy or inappropriate about a 30 yo dating a 22 yo. OTOH, if I had a 30 yo daughter and was thinking of dating her 22 yo female friend, that probably would be seen as creepy and inappropriate, on a number of levels. Perhaps that indicates one 'when', when one does or could have children the age of their intended. I've observed that a few times over the decades, generally older male, younger female, and the judgments from social circles has been relatively uniform and rarely flattering. In a vacuum, such judgments should be irrelevant but, as humans are social creatures and live in groups, they take on relevance pertinent to the social group and one's acceptance within it. My advice: Ask the young lady out and have a good time.
oldshirt Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 If you are short, fat, balding, nucleotides, have nerd-glasses and dress like a slob, at 2 years you'll be the creepy older guy. If you are tall, muscular, lean, handsome, tan,full head of hair, have money, status and charm and dress very well - you're never creepy. 3
carhill Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 That's a good point for the OP to address. I would address it as 'all else being equal' relevant to appearance, social status, economic power, etc, when would an 'older man' be considered to be 'creepy'. Age can be, but isn't required to be, a factor in 'all else being equal', in that two sample subjects can be relatively equal except for age. 1
gaius Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 The only time I've ever been creeped out was when I thought a girl was visiting with her grandpa, until he put his hand on her leg. So I guess 40+ years. 1
MissBee Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I'm almost 30. If I advance on women as young as 22, will that be seen as creepy? Referring to it as "advancing on" sounds creepy and predatory...sorry I think it depends on the dynamics of the people involved. With some age gaps it is hard for me to believe that the two could ever be on a level playing field, like a 50 year old man dating a 22 year old. Like what would even make a man want to go there? I don't see 22 and 30 as that huge of a gap but what matters is how that woman feels about it.
vanhalenfan Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I happen to be attracted to older men. I am 31 years old and dating a 48-year-old. The relationship is one of the best I've been in thus far. Very, very happy on both sides. It depends on the people involved. Nobody in our lives seem to really bat an eyelash at our age difference. He looks incredibly young, though. I don't find our age difference creepy in the least bit. I also feel that once a person reaches a certain age of maturity, around 30, it is acceptable to explore a wider range of age in dating. Under the age of 25, a person changes and evolves and exhibits a lower level of maturity (depending on life experiences, of course) so I would find it a little strange for someone under that age to date much older. But I don't judge; it's really up to the 2 involved. I was married at the age of 21, had twins at the age of 23, divorced at the age of 29. I've been around the block so to speak during my 20's and find myself to be satisfied with my partner, wide age gap and all.
Woggle Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 It depends how attractive the people involved are. Let's be honest about this. 1
Eau Claire Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I like Vanhalenfans perspective. After the mid to late 20's a maturity has been reached in life. We are responsible for our actions. We can pursue whomever we desire....gender, race, lifestyle, age. We can go to work or hang out at the beach all day. We determine our own fate. There are consequences but by the late 20's our eyes are wide open. Our choice to jump in the water or not.
John316C Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 your a man. why are you asking other people. that means you are not a man. there is no age rule. its a socially constructed lie made by people who are immature, stupid and fear based. its supported by many people in society for several reasons. 1. jealousy 2. TV putting fear in the minds of society by connecting rapists/other deviants - young girls. 3. thats probably it... take the example of the star who died recently. i dont know much about him. but its not age its maturity level. someone of similar age can be just as likely to use a young girl as an older man. older men have had relationships with younger women through the entirety of human history. why do you think women have a preference for older men - because of maturity level.
RedRobin Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I think it is creepy whenever the desire for a much younger mate is motivated by the superficial and/or desire for domination, control, and manipulation of the younger person. Since I believe that is the predominate motivation by most older men when they 'advance on' younger women... I find most of those 'relationships' creepy, unbalanced, and fundamentally sick. The fact that some younger women go along with it is an indication of her lack of wellness and balance in my eyes. They have time to learn and correct those mistakes of course. Unfortunately, most of them just get their youth used up by men who are just suave and selfish.
theothersully Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) Not creepy, but a guy who wants a woman that young is shallow and lacks character. There is a huge difference in maturity between 22 and 30...I have alot of men in my family around the age of 30 and they require women at least 25 or older because so many 22 year old women say they are mature and are not...people grow up alot between the ages of 20 and 25. Not only that, the guy clearly is going after her because he thinks she is hotter than females his own age and less "used up." Alot of older men when they give me reasons why they seek out younger when I call them shallow, older women have them too. I know plenty of older women without alot of baggage, who are fun/friendly/carefree, who are active and like to go out. Bottom line, older women arent seen as "screwable" because of their age. Its unfortunate, but a woman's desirability is tied to her age and looks. I also think older men like younger women because younger women are more naiive and are more likely to tolerate their BS. How very negative. There is only one reason I date younger. Younger girls are simply more fun on average. I have a great time going out with them to festivals, clubs and just everywhere. I have a very fresh/fun outlook on life. I find older women to be a little too serious and lacking in energy on the average. They typically can't keep up with me. So I need a younger girl who doesn't have kids, doesn't want kids... and can go to a festival one night and on a 3 mile walk or run some the next morning. Once you are used to being with younger people, it is very, very normal. But it is true. Young 20's are in a state of life turmoil in many cases, still figuring out what they like and want to do. In fact, they look to us older guys to help out with that. Advice from someone who has a few extra years on them regarding money, etc... Edited December 27, 2013 by theothersully
RedRobin Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) How very negative. There is only one reason I date younger. Younger girls are simply more fun on average. I have a great time going out with them to festivals, clubs and just everywhere. I have a very fresh/fun outlook on life. I find older women to be a little too serious and lacking in energy on the average. They typically can't keep up with me. So I need a younger girl who doesn't have kids, doesn't want kids... and can go to a festival one night and on a 3 mile walk or run some the next morning. Once you are used to being with younger people, it is very, very normal. But it is true. Young 20's are in a state of life turmoil in many cases, still figuring out what they like and want to do. In fact, they look to us older guys to help out with that. Advice from someone who has a few extra years on them regarding money, etc... To be honest, this is why I've started dating men a bit younger than myself too. A lot of men my own age who are scarred from divorce and life, even the ones who are in shape, usually have control and life issues they are seeking to avoid. They want to feel 'in charge' and 'in control'... they don't get this feeling from a woman who is their peer. They tend to also just like using women and having shallow attachments. Younger women are clueless about this. There are women your own age who can more than keep up with you physically and sexually. Lots of them are in my running/hiking group and would put your little 3 mile run to shame. Edited December 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
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