TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I want to enact revenge so she can feel my pain. Yeah, trouble is, she will think you're just a jerk, and tell everyone that her breaking up with you was obviously the right thing to do, as is demonstrated by your idiotic behaviour. In other words, whatever you do to exact revenge, you will always, but always come off worse..... 1
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 She doesn't have to know it was me. I can have a mutual friend let her know.
pickflicker Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 She doesn't have to know it was me. I can have a mutual friend let her know. That's not the point. The point is, why continue to muck around with this when it's no longer your problem to deal with? If she was a horrible person, you're free of that now. She's someone else's problem! TaraMaiden is right - getting "revenge" well only make you look silly in the end, not her.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Yeah. But you'd know. And trust us - it really won't make you feel any better at all. Because in fact, she will either guess you were behind it, or you'll want her to know.
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 I can be behind the fact he has a dating profile up.
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 Her bf didn't know at the time but now knows what happened.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Look: You've had all the sound and good advice. If you choose to ignore it, or keep protesting and insisting you "want revenge", go ahead. But we've all told you it's a bad idea, and we've told you why. What you choose to do now, is up to you. But remember, every action has a consequence. And the more negative the action, the more similar the consequence.
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 Her negative actions have only had positive actions for her. She got what she wanted. 1
pickflicker Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Her negative actions have only had positive actions for her. She got what she wanted. You're starting to sound a bit like a kid who got his toy taken off him in the sandpit. Yes, this bad thing happened. Lots of good things will happen to you as well. You should really let this go. Good luck. 2
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 yeah. And the more you keep griping about how it's sticking in your craw, the longer it will continue to do so. You really need to drop the "woe is me" thing and focus on moving yourself on and healing, because what you're currently doing isn't working - is it? 1
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 Doesn't she deserve to suffer though? For what she did to me? I'm so angry at her. 1
pickflicker Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Doesn't she deserve to suffer though? For what she did to me? I'm so angry at her. Your revenge will not make her suffer. Only you will suffer. That's why revenge is so twisted - it only ever impacts the person perpetrating it, not the person receiving it. Fundamentally, cheating isn't illegal. It sucks, but you can't punish her for it. You just have to look after yourself. 3
lauri Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Doesn't she deserve to suffer though? For what she did to me? I'm so angry at her. Do you want to know the best revenge? Silence. Complete silence. Not a peep, not a word, not an emotion. Block her out of your life completely because this woman doesn't even deserve to look at you anymore. This silence will make a much larger statement then anything you could say or do. She doesn't deserve to know you care or that you are hurt. She really doesn't deserve that ego boost to feel that she may still have a chance with you. All you can do is cut her out completely, ignore her and never even mention her name again. She isn't worth a second of your time or your mind. That my friend is revenge, being a bigger person and not stooping to her level. Improve yourself and become something so much better for a girl who is actually worth your efforts. 3
Haydn Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Hi Pickflicker. Like your posts. Hope you had a good xmas. Your revenge will not make her suffer. Only you will suffer. That's why revenge is so twisted - it only ever impacts the person perpetrating it, not the person receiving it. Fundamentally, cheating isn't illegal. It sucks, but you can't punish her for it. You just have to look after yourself.
pickflicker Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Do you want to know the best revenge? Silence. Complete silence. Not a peep, not a word, not an emotion. Block her out of your life completely because this woman doesn't even deserve to look at you anymore. This silence will make a much larger statement then anything you could say or do. She doesn't deserve to know you care or that you are hurt. She really doesn't deserve that ego boost to feel that she may still have a chance with you. All you can do is cut her out completely, ignore her and never even mention her name again. She isn't worth a second of your time or your mind. That my friend is revenge, being a bigger person and not stooping to her level. Improve yourself and become something so much better for a girl who is actually worth your efforts. Once you get the process of ignoring under control, it becomes surprisingly easy. And peaceful. I find it very Zen, myself.
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 I know cheating isn't illegal. But how could she tell me that she loved me and wanted to marry me and make me tell my mom about her and do that behind my back. I mean is what she did normal? Should I expect this from every relationship I ever get into?
pickflicker Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I know cheating isn't illegal. But how could she tell me that she loved me and wanted to marry me and make me tell my mom about her and do that behind my back. I mean is what she did normal? Should I expect this from every relationship I ever get into? Because she's not very nice. Unfortunately, you'll meet people like that. No, not every relationship is like this. That's a rather naive way of thinking. Look, some people are jerks, but most people aren't. It's your first heartbreak, I get that it stings. But you are doing yourself a disservice looking for revenge. Just leave her to her choices and move forward.
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 I feel jaded like this is how girls operate. Put two guys against each other plot and manipulate to get what they want. I wonder what was so wrong with me that she would do this to me. Even after I found out about the cheating she would tell me that what did it for her was that I called her ex to find out what happened. And how she's with him because he knows about the cheating and didn't care. How could ssomeone in their right mind not care?
pickflicker Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I feel jaded like this is how girls operate. Put two guys against each other plot and manipulate to get what they want. I wonder what was so wrong with me that she would do this to me. Even after I found out about the cheating she would tell me that what did it for her was that I called her ex to find out what happened. And how she's with him because he knows about the cheating and didn't care. How could ssomeone in their right mind not care? Well, maybe birds of a feather flock together. Isn't it better that two morally "flexible" people have found one another and now you're been given the opportunity to find someone more suited to you, with more ethics and boundaries?
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 You guys are right. I need to move on. But how? I try my best to keep busy and go out with friends and even in dates here and there. Sometimes my mind just wonders though. There's gotta be a plan to do this. This is my first heat break so I'm kinda lost. And I don't think it's a normal heartbreak. I mean this level of lying seems overtop to me? Right? Like it one thing to play games but another to make me tell my mom about her and to talk marriage and moving in. I don't know. I only know a few guys who went through something similar. 4 step program? Haha - I need a plan here!
ravssss Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 first thing u do is calm down .... realize its a phase ... everyone goes through it ... what i did during a situation like urs was take as much work possible to surround me with it so that i wont even have time to think what happened ... try to engage ur mind on other activities ...
Author Csmith224422 Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Even when I'm busy she occupies my mind sometimes
TaraMaiden Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Even when I'm busy she occupies my mind sometimes Get used to it. It's quite natural. Sometimes, in my "unguarded" moments, I think about my first BF. That was 40 years ago... 1
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