Mr me to Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 (edited) It's the hope that causes the pain and that's why no contact is so important... I've spoke to her twice this morning (due to having children) each time I've hoped she would have seen the error of her ways. I've also fought a mental battle to stop myself attempting to reach out. In my mind she still loves me and wants to spend today with me... I just need to say the right words to bring her back... This behaviour is what is prolonging the pain if I accepted its over and got rid of the concern about what she's doing, things would be much easier. I need to find a way to kill the hope, stop thinking about who she was in the past and stop worrying about the future. If I could find a way to live in the present for myself things would be much easier. My own life is in my control I need to focus on that. Waiting about for her is keeping me stuck in the pain. I know this but in my heart I haven't accepted it. Christmas Day intensifies the hope making it more painful and harder to accept Edited December 25, 2013 by Mr me to
Simplysimon Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Only time heals....and find someone else, it will help you forget. We are all in the same situation. My ex read my text and didn't even reply... Screw em Merry Xmas
BC1980 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I held out hope for months. I think we all do it even on a subcobscious level. You have to realize that there is really nothing you can do at this point to bring her back. I used to wonder all the time if there was something I could say or do, but it just doesn't matter. It feels helpless, but you just have to accept it.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I don't think it does prolong it I think it's your minds way of accepting it gradually... Imagine if there was no hope from day 1 we would end up having complete breakdowns !! x 2
LostConfused123 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I don't think it does prolong it I think it's your minds way of accepting it gradually... Imagine if there was no hope from day 1 we would end up having complete breakdowns !! x Exactly. I wouldn't have been able to get through the first days, even weeks without it. I think I would have had a heart attack and died on the spot. Much easier now that I've gone hardcore contact. It's over and I KNOW it! 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Exactly x I could laugh now at how, even after the most awful events, I found some ridiculous hope in all of it lol but if it wasn't for that hope I probably wouldn't have functioned at all some days x I also know it's over now & I'm okay with that x 2
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