Itspointless Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 But what do you expect? Why would you like it? I think my answer in this thread explains it a bit: Did your ex turn out to be someone different than you thought? - LoveShack.org Community Forums
David87 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Wow, some of you are vicious. Especially the person who wanted to "cyber shoot" me? It's really frustrating to come on here and be vilified for the perfectly legitimate decision I made. I broke up with my ex because - although he is a lovely and sweet person - he was not a great boyfriend and I wasn't happy with him. Being a good person and being a good partner are not the same thing. I agonized over my decision to break up with him for months - literally the only thing that kept me from doing it was the thought of hurting him. I couldn't stand it. I still can't stand it, and the amount of guilt that I feel for breaking up with him is massive. Yet, I'm a much happier person now, and he is free to find a girlfriend who will be happy with him. Yes, he's hurt, but I'm pretty sure it would hurt more if I were calling off our engagement in a few years, or asking for a divorce in a decade. We both knew it wasn't going to work long-term and he chose to ignore it while I chose to make the difficult decisions and play the bad guy. And yet, when I come here and ask a question that is 100% about doing what's right for him (letting him know I'm thinking about him on a holiday vs. continuing NC and letting him move on) I have people judging me and questioning me for ending the relationship? Not all dumpers are evil, bad people. Not all dumpees are innocent victims of a sociopathic ex whose sole purpose in life is to shatter hearts and ruin lives. I ended a relationship with someone I cared about deeply because I was not, and could not be, happy with him. And I asked this question because I wanted to do what was best for him. Thanks for those of you who get it and gave your two cents. I won't text him. Merry Christmas! Wow Robyncat you sound exactly like my ex. You made the right decision if you weren't happy in the relationship.
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 where you from? Did he ever contact you again> Arizona. Nope it's only been like 10 days tho.
AllTooWell Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I'm sorry that you feel vilified. I also understand the conflict between the two choices - if you contact him, you're showing you are thinking about him, that you do still regard him in a positive light, etc. But it WILL set him back, and it WILL hurt him. Please don't contact him - you want to contact him for YOU to relieve YOUR guilt, whether you can see that or not.
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