loveiswar101 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Ok, put it out there. BU was 3 weeks ago and I've comeback to the loveshack as basically not many places to go, looking for advice. Since BU I visit the site and read peoples posts etc, once off loveshack I feel real down. Maybe due to reading sad post like my own, now this somehow plays with my emotions and rehashes the situation I'm in. I do like to post on the coping wall (could write it in a book) as believe atleast someone out there apart from ex can hear me so to speak. So question being is Loveshack healthy for us all or some, does anyone have the same downer when not reading or writing here, ARE WE RIGHT IN COMING HERE ? PS. I know we all want to vent, comfort and ask for help but just a topic I thought i'd raise. 1
legion113 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I think the best thing about coming here for most people is finding out that you are not alone with your problems. It's bad enough if you went thru a breakup and you're alone as it is. Not only that but the people around you shrug it off and say get over it and move on. Here people understand better what you are going thru and are more supportive. I think it's cathartic to not only come here for sympathy but to try to help people as well. The biggest benefit however is the feeling that YOU AREN'T ALONE and you STILL matter. 2
CaliBabe Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 If you want to learn, get advice and see things from an outer perspective than yes, I personally think it's right to come here.
legion113 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I like it here. I get to dispense advice continuously. I find it to be a happy place. I also accept that I am somewhat of a warped individual. Yeah have you seen some of my posts? Just trying to lighten it up sometimes.... 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Ok, put it out there. BU was 3 weeks ago and I've comeback to the loveshack as basically not many places to go, looking for advice. Since BU I visit the site and read peoples posts etc, once off loveshack I feel real down. Maybe due to reading sad post like my own, now this somehow plays with my emotions and rehashes the situation I'm in. I do like to post on the coping wall (could write it in a book) as believe atleast someone out there apart from ex can hear me so to speak. So question being is Loveshack healthy for us all or some, does anyone have the same downer when not reading or writing here, ARE WE RIGHT IN COMING HERE ? PS. I know we all want to vent, comfort and ask for help but just a topic I thought i'd raise. Being here a full year now, I feel a couple things. First, when I was here last year, I was a wreck. My gf of three years destroyed me. My heart was crushed. I lost my job, my apartment....everything because of it. I did a BUNCH of internet searches for stuff and I stumbled upon here. I had some REAL pros helping me out with my situation. When my friends talked to me less and less about it, LS was still here. It helped me through SOOO much s***. Honestly, if it wasnt for many of the older posters here, I wouldnt have made it. Now, a year later, I live in my dream city and I'm currently dating someone much better than my ex. I come on here and try to share MANY of the things I've learned from breakups and others stories. I dont know...I guess if I see others that were like me, I feel good knowing that maybe one person can listen to what I've learned and possibly help them the same many have helped me. To answer you loveiswar....yes this site is "right" Now, just like ALL good things in life, MODERATION is the key. Come on here TOO much like an addict will only further heed your process of recovery. Learn to love yourself and move on. LS is the boat that sails you there. 4
legion113 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 If nothing else, if this place stops you from making yourself look like a twat to your ex, mission accomplished. Yeah, still some people who don't seem to get that idea however. Though I have to admit, when I was first dating and stuff, yeah, I was a wimp, did the begging and pleading and crying....ah those were the days, when you could lose your balls and self esteem on a daily basis. 1
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 (edited) I had the same questions as you early on about LS. I was actually sorta pissed that i was on this site so much and i was concerned. It was unfounded. Since then ive determined it is a great place and was invaluable helping me with my BU. I took a break natually after recovering but have been coming back again recently to give some advice. But not nearly as much as the 1st months after my BU. I still enjoy the site and dont view it as a negative. Cav Edited December 25, 2013 by cavalier99 2
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 To answer you loveiswar....yes this site is "right" Now, just like ALL good things in life, MODERATION is the key. Come on here TOO much like an addict will only further heed your process of recovery. Learn to love yourself and move on. LS is the boat that sails you there. I think that's the key I was looking for "moderation". I know people feel good coming here, but to much just reminds me of what going on around me.
Kevin_D Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I come here to mostly to understand things better. My ex shows all the signs of GIGS (or bipolar disorder, like her mother). Now, some might say that this is only an explaination to make me feel better about myself, but it doesn't really matter. I've learned that: - IF she comes back, it will most likely take several years, so there's no point in waiting - IF I want her back, the best thing I can do is to move on - IF she comes back, I'll probably never be able to trust her again, so it's probably better if I never hear from her again I also know that I need to work on myself as well. I did many mistakes during the relationship. But it's nice to come here and realise that not everything was my fault. Sometimes it's impossible to prevent these things. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Ok, put it out there. BU was 3 weeks ago and I've comeback to the loveshack as basically not many places to go, looking for advice. Since BU I visit the site and read peoples posts etc, once off loveshack I feel real down. Maybe due to reading sad post like my own, now this somehow plays with my emotions and rehashes the situation I'm in. I do like to post on the coping wall (could write it in a book) as believe atleast someone out there apart from ex can hear me so to speak. So question being is Loveshack healthy for us all or some, does anyone have the same downer when not reading or writing here, ARE WE RIGHT IN COMING HERE ? PS. I know we all want to vent, comfort and ask for help but just a topic I thought i'd raise. I can appreciate the core sense that you are inspired to feel 'down' upon leaving Loveshack not long after a break-up... but your analysis probably isn't fair to the question you're asking. If random person 'A' breaks-up with random person 'B' after a relationship of many years... "B" neeeeeeeeeeds to process what has happened in the interest of evolving to lead the best life "B" can possibly live for the rest of his/her days. So you would need to compare "B's" life after not visiting Loveshack, and delaying that important processing for months or even years, to the exercise that is first venting... and expressing... and ultimately causing yourself to read others who write independently of their own relationships, which cause you to draw upon the most recent example that you've known. The most typical conclusion is that Loveshack tends to stimulate the exercise of getting through the difficult processing which must be done en route to really recovering from any particular break-up. So they answer is most likely "Yes, you are right (in your own best interests) for coming to Loveshack". 1
lovelylilly Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I don't think LS is negative. I decided to post here instead of talking to my friends so much about it because no one knew what to tell me. They all just wanted me to get over it. It was hard though because my last break up came without a warning--it was a shock to everyone . Coming on here helped because I was able to get perspective from people who didn't know me nor my ex. I tried to help others, and it did make me feel sad reading about everyone's breaks up, so I took a break. I would like to continue coming on here and post comments once I have my head on straight. I'm pretty good at keeping myself really busy, so that has a factor in keeping me off here as much as I'd like to be too :/. 1
k100danny Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I think this depends, in reality it is probably best to go no contact and move on when a relationship has ended but the end of a relationship often leaves us with questions and concerns that we find hard to ask or feel silly asking friends so it is nice to see people (not nice to see but you know what i mean) that other people have these issues to and it tends to work out in the end. It is also a good place to visit to prevent using contact as a kind of outlet. i have used this site with 2 different break ups and for advice on a different one over the years and it has certainly being a help to me. 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Yea course we are even if it just gives us something to do for a few minutes rather than send that text that we will only regret later ! xx
vassilbg Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Haha so true. I had a f*cked up morning for some reason. Been having dreams with not just ONE, but TWO exes of mine... well played Universe, well played.
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