Riou Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 There seems to be an odd trend of dumpers talking/planning about future,being very positive about a relationship up to even a day before and then the next day a break up happens.Being reading a few threads with such stories,for example http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/450695-empty . Did you experience the same too?
treezy Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Yes, even on the day of the breakup he told me he saw a future with me. After that he decided that I was a stupid idiot (yes, he told me that specifically) and cut me off.
Author Riou Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 Yes, even on the day of the breakup he told me he saw a future with me. After that he decided that I was a stupid idiot (yes, he told me that specifically) and cut me off. That's really odd.Was it at the time when he break up with you that he talk about the future or before the break up?
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 It's called 'Future Faking'. Very common. 4
AnyaNova Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 It's called 'Future Faking'. Very common. It's been awhile so I could be wrong about the timing, but I'm pretty sure that it was only a week to two before he broke up wih me that he was talking about how wonderful it would be to cuddle over the winter. Even as he said it, I wished he wouldn't have( because I knew that if we didnt make it, that my mind would be drawn like a bad tooth to that statement on particularly dreary and cold winter days.
singme2sleep Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Yep. My ex called me his "Mrs" and we used to discuss what we'd name our future kids, plus a lot of other bull**** that never happened. It hurts.
Author Riou Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 It's called 'Future Faking'. Very common. So what is the basis for doing it when clearly they didn't want a future?
Author Riou Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 Yep. My ex called me his "Mrs" and we used to discuss what we'd name our future kids, plus a lot of other bull**** that never happened. It hurts. Were all these close to your break up day? Like a day or a week before the break up? If it's not then probably it's a different thing. The trend is dumpers doing/saying things that is completely opposite of wanting a break up a week or even a day before the break up.
theothersully Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Mine did the same, less than 24 hours before the end of the marriage. makes you wonder (you have to assume) the entire relationship was just a big lie.
maturityassets Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Yeah happened to me as well... I think it has to do with people having no idea what they want in all honesty. Maybe they get so focused on a possible future that they just see things fitting a certain way and when it doesn't they leave? I won't pretend to know. Things change in a short time. You stop forgiving each other quickly, you overlook things that are obvious, and sometimes you use excuses of "us" to hide the fact that it is the "me". Regardless I can't say its possible to plan a future with our exes anymore...
singme2sleep Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 One week before we broke up, we had a conversation about "us". I was voicing my feelings that it seemed as if I cared more for him than he did for me. His exact words in response were "How could you EVER doubt the way I feel about you?! I love you babe."
LadyM Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Two weeks before the BU he said that he's nothing without me. A couple days before the BU, he emailed me from out of town that he loves me. At the same time, he met the new girl and was starting up with her!
SameOldFear Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 So what is the basis for doing it when clearly they didn't want a future? I'm wondering about this too. My ex even explicitly stated a week before he left me for another girl, "You have nothing to worry about. I love you. Besides, I barely know her." Obviously he was faking it, but why?
LadyM Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I'm wondering about this too. My ex even explicitly stated a week before he left me for another girl, "You have nothing to worry about. I love you. Besides, I barely know her." Obviously he was faking it, but why? Do people simply have no conscience?? 2
Author Riou Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 Do people simply have no conscience?? Probably..sometimes it appears they want to lead you on and "surprise" you.
LadyM Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Or maybe they want to be pretty confident it's a sure thing with the new partner before dumping us. 1
singme2sleep Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Reminds me of a line from a Billy Joel song... "Some people say they will never believe another promise they hear in the dark, because they only remember too well they heard somebody tell them before."
LadyM Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Reminds me of a line from a Billy Joel song... "Some people say they will never believe another promise they hear in the dark, because they only remember too well they heard somebody tell them before." Love that line!! So true, too... 1
singme2sleep Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 LadyM- Music has helped keep me sane during my hardest days, so therapeutic.
LadyM Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 LadyM- Music has helped keep me sane during my hardest days, so therapeutic. What kinds of music helps you?
singme2sleep Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 What kinds of music helps you? Well I can't really narrow it down to one genre, it's all about the lyrics and if they speak to me. To name a few... Sara Evans "Life Without Losing" A Great Big World "Say Something" Christina Perri "The Lonely" & 'Black and Blue" and of course, the female breakup anthem- Alanis Morsette "You Oughta Know"
LadyM Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Those are good ones. But sometimes, lyrics to songs make me feel even sadder because so many remind me of heartbreak. Am much enjoying holiday music the last few weeks, though. Need some of that upbeat "Let It Snow." 1
singme2sleep Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Those are good ones. But sometimes, lyrics to songs make me feel even sadder because so many remind me of heartbreak. Am much enjoying holiday music the last few weeks, though. Need some of that upbeat "Let It Snow." I'm weird I guess, I tend to feel better after listening to sadder type songs.
LadyM Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I'm weird I guess, I tend to feel better after listening to sadder type songs. No, no.....not weird. Whatever makes you feel better is the exact right thing for you. 1
iworthmore Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 such an odd trend. can we ever trust anyone and not being sceptical about the relationship. after all its a fact. happened with me and with most of you. today they talk about having kids and start a family and tomorrow they will just disappear. i noticed another trend and i am not generalizing. if you read the stories u can find that the majority of the dumpers r females. well im not sure but read the stories here in LS ull notice that. men do that as well but that what i'v noticed.
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