dreamingoftigers Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 It could, but not on my end. I'm done. The other dude can definitely have that mess. She is very, very unstable in a relationship and all the mental disorders are soooo exhausting. I would never do that again. He can have her. But... if he does all that heavy lifting, no reason I can't be civil with her. This is a huuuuge number of years. 1/4 of my life, 1/3 of hers. We should remain friendly. And you may meet your potential future wife through her? My unwanted advice: fish in other waters. Yes, it's a long time. But that's the thing: it was a long time and it seems like you are both still sparked back into conflict about the whole thing. You don't have to "hate her." But do you really think she wants to be in contact (especially BPD with fragile self) with someone who thinks the above about her? Or is it still just about what you think and feel?
dreamingoftigers Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 No no... that was directed at dreaming of tigers who attacked me. Nobody else. Sorry if it didn't appear that way. Your response was great and got its own response. Since she attacked me, i hit back. That's kind of how I am, so.... So.....you end up in needless conflict a lot. Oscillating between aggressive and passive-aggressive it seems. Look up conflict management. If you are lashing this easily on the Internet, your relationships aren't far behind. I guarantee it. Most people don't take the bait or don't give a crap. Your method is to say how much you don't give a crap and then demonstrate the exact opposite. The opinion of a stranger on a forum is over-registering. Even your OP shows it up. Take it or leave it. It's not like we hang out on the weekends bro. But I'm going to read the end of the thread.
dreamingoftigers Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Your OP wasn't about a "wonderful turn of events." It was about how "dumb and mean" she was in her response to you abd how you were so over it. Then posting up the unwanted contacts followed by her sarcastic reply. Later on, further down after your OP, you made a connection with her. But you clearly have zero actual RESPECT for her and have decided unilaterally how things "should be." Anyone who counters that is "know it all/negative/giving you a hard time etc etc etc." We can only go off of what we read. And what you portrayed was repeatedly contacting someone that it didn't even seem you LIKED much less TOLERATED. Simply because you "do what you want." That's not going to come off as positive to practically anyone. Seriously, reread your own posts before "everyone else" is to blame. And what I'm angry at is the personal attacks and people telling me I am wrong and cannot contact her. That she has a right not to talk to me.... well, duh!!! But when you have been best friends with someone that long, you still have a connection even if you are no longer married. I was easily, with only that 1 negative message on this thread, able to be friendly with her. We had a short little chat today on text. She isn't getting married. She was just trying to be mean. Lives with the dude though.But it's ok. I forgive her for what she did to me. I forgive her enough to be friends. She is good with that. The fact that some know nothing know it all comes in here and gives me a hard time about a wonderful turn of events in my interpersonal relationship with my ex wife really pisses me off. It is a very good thing to have a positive, platonic friendship with someone who was your best friend for 12 years, then you hated each other for a year. It is only right we have some civility and we are beginning to. She has seen the girl in Miami I am dating, I have seen her dude. If you (not you, kfc) have a problem with good, friendly, mature relationships with exes, then don't comment here. You are not emotionally developed enough.
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