Messy Situation Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 I'll try and make this simple and to the point as it could be a long story otherwise. We met in spring 2001 and dated 'officially' intil Nov of 2003. We lived together for two years. In the past year and two months, we've seen (and been intimate) with other people but always rebound into each other's arms. The past three months had been going quite well and I thought we might be getting back together 'officially'. She was spending time with me and my friends. Taking part in my life. It wasn't just sex. New years eve she calls me and states that she's moved on and gotten back together with a guy she had a fling with one year ago. This hurts on a lot of different levels -I had no idea she was seeing someone else and so much for our new years plans. But what really gets me angry is that she slept with me the very next night after sleeping with fling guy (I wasn't aware of this at the time). I tell her off on the phone and threaten to send fling guy an email telling him everything as I suspect she's kept him in the dark. I send fling guy three emails, all of them carefully worded and not bitter toward him -I basically let him know that while I don't know his intentions toward her, he should know that she's been seeing and sleeping with the both of us (for god knows how long). NOW comes the morally corrupt part: I know ex's email password so I check her email. I see that fling guy has indeed gotten my emails and is confused and probably a little bit hurt about the situation (like me). I also notice that in her emails to him, she is lying like mad! She is claiming that we have had NOTHING to do with each other since 2003! She is saying that she hasn't seen me nor slept with me at all in the past year! She slept with me one week ago! She's also saying that I am mentally disturbed and a stalker. She says that I am obsessed with her and drive by her home and harass her on the phone! And yet it was her that kept reinitiating contact with me. WTF! I can't believe the b.s. this girl is spewing to this guy! My buddies just laughed when I told them. They couldn't believe it either. Why is she lying like this? Isn't it disrespectful of everything we were and shared? My problem is this: I want to call her on the b.s. emails but then I don't too. I've washed my hands of her and I suppose I can only wish this guy luck if he wants to attempt a relationship with her. And I know it's wrong to look in her email but I did it, and under the circumstances, I think most guys would too. Should I address her on these ridiculous lies or just let it go? Incidentally she left her work clothes from the last time she slept with me. I have to laugh cos they're custom made for massage therapy and it's gonna cost her big to replace them. She finally did it to herself... Advice anyone?
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Let it go, definitely. You don't put out a fire by throwing more gasoline on it. The damage is done on all sides. Part ways and try to put it behind you. You'll probably find yourself served with a restraining order if you don't.
alphamale Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 this is typical female behaviour. do NOTHING. it is easier for women to lie and deceive cause they get caught less. Just throw the clothes out or burn them if you're really pissed.
iceisles Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale this is typical female behaviour. Are you bitter with women, alpha? The tone of many of your posts makes it seem that way.
FreeMe Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Alphamale is a complete misogynist. There's hardly a post of his that does't demonstrate that.
Barby Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 To the Original poster......... I say it would best just to let it go. LOOK what she said about you, you're a stalker, ect...now finding out you broke into her email will only confirm this in her mind. You're better off without her because she can't be honest with herself or anyone else for that matter.
Bubbles Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 First of all...STOP SNOOPING IN YOUR EX'S E-MAIL ACCOUNT!!! Can't you get arrested for something like that? Is'nt it called "invasion of privacy"? If you did'nt know any of this? You wouldn't care. You'd call her a b*tch and walk away. I'm sure you would be hurt because she broke it off with you on New Year's but hey.......she does'nt sound the kind of girl that you would want to "bring home to Mom" any-ways. I mean c'mon.....sleeping with two guys in 24 hours? That's just gross! bubbles
XNemesisX Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 Your ex is a total monster. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to make the other guy believe you. She will say whatever she must to take the heat off of herself. But BELIEVE THIS--- no matter what she tries to say to him...you have planted the seed of suspicion in his brain. Make no mistake, he is going to be wondering whether or not she is lying. I doubt he would automatically believe her. He WILL remember what you said. Its understandable why you would be upset and can't just "get over it." I HATE it when people just say "get over it." No one just "gets over it" like that. This is going to take some time to let the pain FADE. I don't think you even need to confront her..it will make no difference. People like this don't feel bad or feel remorse. She can say all she wants to about you, but I doubt the guy will ever be able to look at her the same way now without having suspicions. You won, in a sense.
velveteel Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 I would imagine she's very angry at you for "outing" her over sleeping with two men at the same time. And so part of her response is shock. She didn't plan on complicating her new relationship with the messy truth of her remaining feelings for you, and now that you've done this for her, she's lying to cover her tracks. I don't think she's a monster, just immature and dishonest. (And you violated her privacy in a big way--twice--with the tattling and the email surveillance.) Let her go. There's a lot to be said for a fresh start with someone else, even if part of you is still caught up with your ex.
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