strongnrelaxed Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Having just barely survived the demise of my marriage, I think I finally get it. Women lie to their husbands much more effectively than men do. I will never ever trust a woman again. This is not just because of my failed marriage but a lifetime of experience. I have come to the conclusion that the best situation for me is to be the other man and keep a married woman or two on the side. It is such an obvious good move that I am surprised that I didn't see it before. So what is your advice? Ashley Madison is one site - are there others?
WakingUp Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Oh don't be so ridiculous. Merry Christmas. 9
Ruffian1 Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Not sure if you are serious about what you said or not. I think a lier is a lier no matter what gender. They can both be good at it if they want to be. Since it is the season of good will towards men, I just have to say - Would you really want to do that to another man? or to yourself? Think about it. 2
findingnemo Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 So you have decided to get your revenge? To do that you plan to wreck one or two families? What a dastardly plan! You are in for a lot more trouble than you know. It's best to learn how to be shrewd about people, women, so that next time you know not to be so trusting and are careful in your selection of mates. 3
whichwayisup Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Having just barely survived the demise of my marriage, I think I finally get it. Women lie to their husbands much more effectively than men do. I will never ever trust a woman again. This is not just because of my failed marriage but a lifetime of experience. I have come to the conclusion that the best situation for me is to be the other man and keep a married woman or two on the side. It is such an obvious good move that I am surprised that I didn't see it before. So what is your advice? Ashley Madison is one site - are there others? So, you'd like to be with a MW to HELP her lie and betray their husbands? Married people who cheat, man or woman, are SKILLED liars to pull of an affair, it's not just women! Men are just as capable to be crafty and manipulative. Sorry you've been burned a few times but that is NOT an excuse to be an OM to a few MW's. That's just a real dumb choice to make and puts you in a position of someone who couldn't give a crap about helping hurt a family unit, let alone a betrayed spouse. do you really want to be part of that? Can you look yourself in the mirror and be proud? Introduce your MW's to friends and family? Come on, don't go down that path. You know better. IF you need counseling to learn to trust again, do it! Not all women are liars. BUT, the ones you plan on going for, MW's ARE and always will be because they will be lying to their spouses, their kids, friends and hiding stuff. Don't do it. 2
CanJanus Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Having just barely survived the demise of my marriage, I think I finally get it. Women lie to their husbands much more effectively than men do. I will never ever trust a woman again. This is not just because of my failed marriage but a lifetime of experience. I have come to the conclusion that the best situation for me is to be the other man and keep a married woman or two on the side. It is such an obvious good move that I am surprised that I didn't see it before. So what is your advice? Ashley Madison is one site - are there others? Why would you preferentially seek out a MW? Just look around normally. The advantage you have is that you don't happen to care if a woman happens to be married or not. You are single, you don't have to go out of your way to have an affair, but your mindset is clearly such that you don't have to avoid one either. Have fun! 1
RickFox Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 considering there are plenty of women, single women, who have no problem just hooking up I don't understand your rationale. so it's okay to destroy or help destroy a family or marriage because you feel sorry for yourself. I don't have much room to speak but hell I still know right from wrong 5
whereamigoing Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 It seems to me that you are still healing from the end of your previous relationship. You need to work more on you before you even think about having any sort of serious or meaningful relationship. If you are just looking for a quick lay just go to your local dive bar an hour before closing. Bring condoms. 2
Popsicle Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Post in the infidelity section about your anger. 3
dreamingoftigers Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Having just barely survived the demise of my marriage, I think I finally get it. Women lie to their husbands much more effectively than men do. I will never ever trust a woman again. This is not just because of my failed marriage but a lifetime of experience. I have come to the conclusion that the best situation for me is to be the other man and keep a married woman or two on the side. It is such an obvious good move that I am surprised that I didn't see it before. So what is your advice? Ashley Madison is one site - are there others? Oh yes, this strategy will make your life more relaxed and peaceful. Not to mention it'll help restore your self-esteem and sense of purpose. Everyone that's in an affair triangle always thinks at least one party got the better deal when really everyone's just getting screwed. 2
Oldspiceywolf Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 What about married women in open relationships? A hot wife situation might give a you girlfriend who has a husband and a life but she needs a little extra attention, you could easily set up a few of these if you have the right qualifications. SLS swing lifestyles is a good website and you won't be braking up any families 2
dreamingoftigers Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 What about married women in open relationships? A hot wife situation might give a you girlfriend who has a husband and a life but she needs a little extra attention, you could easily set up a few of these if you have the right qualifications. SLS swing lifestyles is a good website and you won't be braking up any families I think the point was identifying with the aggressor and that he would like to create some more misery so that he has company. Can't say I haven't been there (feeling-wise). But it seems evident even to the OP that's it's a dark door to open that leads to miserable feelings. He knows from personal experience and let's hope it was a consideration and not something he's invested a solid effort into.
bentleychic Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I would highly recommend some individual counseling BEFORE you get involved in ANY kind of relationship.
Oldspiceywolf Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I saw OPs angle of being the aggressor but I also felt he hard a hard time wanting to get into another relationship because he was untrusting of women at the moment. I was suggesting he get some sex and a relationship that is built to be slightly short term and at times distant without running someone else's family through the dirt. I like the therapy idea the best!
Clay Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I am really surprised at the response your getting. Its not like your not getting good advice but its clearly not what you came here for. I personally don't think its wise to try to involve yourself in another person relationship and I have no real room to talk I am guilty of doing this as well at one point in time in my life. It was a bad experience for me. I did get the girl in the end but after six months of living with her she was really not worth all the money and emotional investment. If you want to date or have an affair with a married woman you going to have to get used to one thing. That is your sharing her. Your relationship with her is not going to be exclusive. Your going to have to get used to the fact that she is a liar and a cheater. She will never be honest with you or faithful to you. Another serious thing to keep in mind is the person you are climbing in bed with has no problems with destroying her family. She is willing to sacrifice her children as well as her H to be with you. It would be easier if you could just say I am only looking for a woman that is married with no kids but it does appear to be more often these woman do have kids and do have a family as a whole. Understand you are also just as guilty of willingly destroying these peoples lives. She might be ready to end her marriage. She might just want some excitement in her life and you are offering that to her. The person you are going to be with has no morals and you are going to have to change yourself to be that kind of a person too. This is easier for some people it is not for others. I do see the benefits of wanting to be with someone that is married. No real commitment to this person would be a serious bonus. It allows you to have multiple partners and if the MW you are seeing complains you just put the fact she is Married up and that ends that argument. You don't have to spend all the time with them. It allows you to go out and hang out with friends and pickup other woman. You are not ever really going to have to financial support this woman because she can not receive gifts that will draw attention to her affair. Your going to have to be a good liar and smooth talker. I really don't encourage you take on this path but honestly I felt exactly what you are feeling after my marriage was destroyed over my xW having an affair. If you can deal with all these things then good luck. Clay 1
Author strongnrelaxed Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) I am really surprised at the response your getting. Its not like your not getting good advice but its clearly not what you came here for. ... Your going to have to get used to the fact that she is a liar and a cheater. She will never be honest with you or faithful to you...I do see the benefits of wanting to be with someone that is married. No real commitment to this person would be a serious bonus. It allows you to have multiple partners and if the MW you are seeing complains you just put the fact she is Married up and that ends that argument....You don't have to spend all the time with them. It allows you to go out and hang out with friends and pickup other woman. You are not ever really going to have to financial support this woman because she can not receive gifts that will draw attention to her affair... Clay Wow. I appreciate it Clay. As much as it pains me to say this, I am a broken man. I have been a good guy my whole life and something inside me just cracked. It has been almost three years living alone and I still cry HARD all the time. I am deeply depressed all the time and cannot seem to shake it. This is not just because of my divorce or that she cheated, lied, etc - but more because my life experiences (and being online) has shown me how few people are really faithful It goes without saying that married people are screwing around like rabbits these days. My expectation of finding a faithful woman is a fairy tale that I have to let go. It is time to put away childish things. No woman is capable of being faithful for an entire marriage - at least not to me. I know this to be true now, and do not need to learn the hard way again. No more. I am done, over, out. I do not agree that I am somehow aiding and abetting the destruction of a family. That is going to happen anyway with me or some other man. That is for them to work out. I am very lucky to have access to beautiful intelligent woman all around me. Being single has been great and very healing for me. Unfortunately, I am successful and attract women who are very clingy and want a white knight/ daddy/savior kind of man. This is creepy as hell and it bothers me - they don't even wait very long before going in for the kill. it is like open season on a man like me - "get him nailed down to another marriage contract ASAP before someone else gets him or he changes his mind." It is sickening. Marriage has become a lot like religion - it only works if you "believe", meaning that you must ignore your common sense, experience, wisdom, intuition, your reason, logic, and four senses, and all of the data & reality around you. Only then you can be content in your blissful ignorance. That works fine, but do not ever ask her questions and do not snoop on her - you will not like what you find. She keeps secrets for a reason. *sigh* My journey continues I guess, and in the meantime I have to deal with these creepy people who judge without a modicum of care for the person on the other side of the comment. This is starting to affect me too in the way I respond to others. I am pissed! Very sad the way America has grown up. Very sad. I hope I can snap out of this some day. Edited December 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
WakingUp Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Well I will take this opportunity to apologise for my flippant comment, I really did not think that your opening post was serious. However, reading this, if this is how you feel... then I don't think that the internet is the place for you to be seeking answers. Possibly some counselling and some time alone would be a good thing. I am sorry that you have had such bad experiences. I hope you find the potential within yourself to feel joy and happiness again. The world really is a wonderful place. Don't let other people define how you feel about it. 1
Journee Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I am sorry that you are hurting. I have suffered from depression and it is very hard to pull yourself out of that sucking hole. Have you considered some counseling for the things that have hurt you? It may not change your view on the world entirely but could help you understand yourself better. I know it seems bleak and lying and cheating is absolutely everywhere. There are faithful women out there. There are successful marriages. I know it's hard to believe when all you see is evidence to the contrary. Keep your head up. 2
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