quadfang Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Hey all, i'm new to the forum and have read alot of threads and there seems to be some good advice given here. I'm in a predicament and don't really know what to make of it. I met this girl online, we met up that week had a great first date, both texted each other right after it, we had a great time, etc. We had a 2nd date at my place she stayed over, then a 3rd date same thing spent the night. This is about a two week period. Since the first date we have texted or talked on the phone everyday. I'd say she initiates about 60%, so I didn't think I was being needy or whatever you want to say by initiating the other days she didn't. So she was with her friends this past weekend, figured I wouldn't bother her, knowing she was with them. She texted me pretty much all weekend, of course I responded to all messages. So yesterday same thing texting back and forth, so I call her when I get out of work we talk for about a half hour or so, and we try to setup a day to meet up, but this week is super busy for her being Christmas week, fair enough we'll do something after the holidays...we end the conversation and she tells me to text her later. I text her before bed saying goodnight...no response...texted good morning when I got to work asking if she finished up her shopping and wrapping last night...no response. How should I take this and how should I handle it, or am I just overthinking? I assume just let it be and don't say anything, just seems odd she initiated alot for a girl, in my opinion, I wearily reciprocated, not thinking it would come of as clingy. Then nothing. Thanks in advance!
winny Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Don't send anymore texts... If she is interested she will come back.... Be patient...
ParadisA330 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Its hard to tell. She could be busy with the holidays. Maybe she didn't have her phone on her? Maybe she's ghosted (eg met someone else who she's more interested in and cuts all contact with you.)
cobeflats Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 (edited) I'd definitely agree. Sounds like you've done just fine so far. Don't initiate the contact. Let her. If it's a day or two, don't mention that she didn't get back to you. Don't bring it up and if she does and apologizes just something like no worries and then quickly get on point to another subject. But, if it lingers for more than say 4 days, maybe send her a quick text asking if she is doing ok. If it were me, if she replies that she is ok, then I'd call her out on the fact that she didn't respond and tell her in an non-angry tone that not getting back to you was a little disrespectful and you don't appreciate that behavior and it is a bit of a turn off. In which case, if she cares, she won't repeat....if she does repeat, well might want to go fishing for someone else as you deserve better. And if it comes to that, she will actually respect you MORE rather than losing respect. And more importantly, you will retain your own self-respect, which should always come first anyway. See how she responds, but not getting back after 4 days or later would definitely send red flags and you don't want to ever come across as a doormat. She will lose respect for you regardless. Also, since she hasn't gotten back to you for a day or two...I'd tend to reciprocate....respond to her with a little less frequency. Again, if you come across like you are sitting there waiting and panting, with an immediate response, she could lose a little respect/attraction to you. People want what is seen as valuable as well as potentially unavailable or hard to get...scarcity. I would guess that all of this doesn't come in to place if she is a super nice, loyal girl and you know that for a fact, in which case reciprocate that. But the fact that she has an online account and spent the night with you early on gives reason for pause. No doubt there is competition in the online dating world...and all it takes is one other guy to peak her interest and she would likely do the same with him....that is until you develop enough of a relationship where she has enough invested into the two of you where other guys become substantially less of a factor, say after 2 months. But not until then. Edited December 25, 2013 by cobeflats
Author quadfang Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 Thanks for the advice all, i'll see what happens in the next few days.
Christ is Love Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 I agree definitely wait for her to get in touch with you. On line dating can be tricky. There are so many other options especially if she hasn't closed her on line account. Seems like she got involved with you rather quickly . Definitely wait to see what happens. Once, I was in contact with an on- line guy everyday for about a month. Then all communication stopped on his end. After some weeks, I texted him again and he did tell me that he had met someone else on line and he wished me luck with my future endeavors .
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