ETA Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 So I met this guy from New York in September and we got a long great. At first I didn't see him as anything and I didn't feel like he was into me. But then he began to show some interest. Still I wasn't sure how he really felt. But he would say things like I'm single and ready to hang out. And stuff like, "why are you being so closed, be open, I'm open."We finally hung out while I was on a trip to NY and he was being so cute and flirty. It was kinda hard not to feel something for him. Especially since he made it seem like he was into me. But after a month he suddenly disappeared and stopped talking to me. I eventually went back to NY again and texted him asking to hang out he blew me off saying his weeek was crazy. He not only blew me off but he had been blowing off his good guy friend too. We all met at a church event and bonded from there but he burnt himself out from the church and just stopped coming and completely removed himself from the church. He left me hurt and totally confused because on one hand he was sooo into me but then suddenly he turned cold as ice and I have no idea what I did. What went wrong? I mean i know the guy has baggage and hes emotionally unstable (thats what everyone who knows him well told me) Any feedback would be appreciated!
JDPT Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 There is the possibility and this is just me speculating that he may be involved with someone else hence his hot/cold. I'm thinking just play it by ear and don't put all your eggs in one basket. Good luck to you. 2
legion113 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 He's emotionally unstable, what else do you need to know? That means his emotions are labile, they turn on and off for no apparent reason. Guy has baggage, he's got depression, those things don't just disappear. He's acting like this NOW in the beginning of a relationship when's he supposed to be showing you his good side. It's all downhill from there. 1
LadyM Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 If people are telling you he's emotionally unstable, listen to them, believe them. It is a tough road being involved with someone like that and usually does not have the happy ending you are seeking.
SameOldFear Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Honestly believe them. I'm not saying you can't be nice to him, but I wish that I had seen the red flags with my ex. Don't reach out to him; he can reach out to you. Set very clear boundaries with him. Don't go into anything romantic or any gray areas that aren't merely platonic. Trust me, he won't change. And if he does it takes years to improve. Not a few months. Don't listen to everything he tells you either.
Author ETA Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 I need help now because im thinking about how I could have done things differently that night i went out with him and the problem is, I am always thinking of what I could of/ should of done. And now that new years is coming up i have the urge to text him saying happy new year just to see what will happen from there. I know its wrong to text him and i dont think I will. But how do I stop myself from thinking about how I could have done things differently with him and I tell myself If i would have done things differently to show him that I was into him . Sad thing is that I think that if i did things differently then he would have continued the relationship. Any suggestions please?
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