Oneday18 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Hi, I was with my Boyfriend for five years this past August. We met at the end of Highschool, where a mutual friend introduced the two of us. I knew there was something special about him immediately. We had a pretty complicated relationship from the very beginning. My parents didnt approve of me going out with a boy and especially not him (religious/cultural) differences. Also he was planning to go to college 4 hours away, but the end we decided to make it work. We made it work for fours years throughout college, and had no incidents of cheating or anything. To this day I still get butterflies when I talk to him. Last year after he graduated he couldn't find a job, so he decided to go to Korea to teach english for a year. When he told me about he didn't act all that serious about and didn't really talk about out relationship. SO I assumed it was something that wasnt going to happen anytime soon. Then one day he tells me that he will be leaving at the end of the month. I was pretty shocked and angry that he didn't really prepare me earlier. But after talking to him about our relationship, he said that he didn't want to make life decisions based on our relationship just yet, but he still wanted to continue our relationship. I didn't feel that badly about it because I knew he was a really adventurous guy. Anyways before he left he told me that he would always love me and that he would come back for me one day. After he left I was pretty heart broken, even though our relationship was long distance before, I could always just get on a bus whenever I needed to see him. ANyways after he left I went through many things in my personal life, my dad lost his job, I was applying to grad school, I went through depression and started losing my hair, which I then completely shaved off. I didn't mention any of this to him because I figured he has enough on his plate being in a completely new country. Anyways I didnt get much opportunity to talk to him because I was dealing with my own stuff and he was off exploring korea. Anyways after that summer we started talking more constantly but he seemed a little different, he was busier obviously, and just kind of moody. Anyways we had a couple of arguments about him not making time for me (which has been a minor issue throughout our whole relationship) But we'd work through it eventually. Anyways recently he had been acting especially not emotional, like not saying anything endearing or not calling me any pet names. So I asked him if there was someone else or if he wasnt interested in me anymore and he said no (He is a pretty honest guy even if it will break your heart, he'll tell you the truth). He told me that he has been thinking for the past few weeks and he doesnt know if he will be returning to Canada anytime soon. He doesnt know about his plans and doesnt know where he is going to be in the future. He said that he doesnt think we should be a couple because he cant make any plans with me and that he misses being about to touch someone and hold them. When we were having this conversation he asked my what I thought about our future, (because we never really talked about it seriously, even though earlier on in our relationship we would joke about marraige.) Anyway I asked him about what he thought and he said that he figured that we would together forever. Then I said I want it to be that way, but Im afraid if I say it, that it wont happen. I really do want to be with him and cannot see myself with someone else. After this he asked what my goals are for life so I told him and he told me his and they didnt exactly match. See I was hoping that he would ask me to come with him or wait for him to make life plans with him, but he did not. Now he is saying that the reason he wants to break up if because 1) He doesnt think I will be able tell my parents about our relationship 2) Because he doesnt know when he'll come back. I asked him if he loved me and he said yes, then I asked if he wanted to be with me and he said yes, then I asked him if he would sit down and talk to me about making plans with so that it could work out. He said no because he doesnt think they will work. I dont know what to do or say, I love this man with every fiber of my being, I have done a lot for him and sacrificed a lot for him and have supported every decision that he has made. Simultaneously I have been working on myself and my relationship with my parents so that I can prepare them to be okay with me being with him. I have never told him this through the course of the relationship so that it wouldnt put pressure on him. Now he is saying that I will not tell my parents, and that he doesnt want to hide it from them. Even though I have told him that I have every intension to do so, but this is the first time he has mentioned this to be a problem and hasnt given me any chance to actually prepare myself. I keep telling him please sit down and talk to me and tell me whats on your mind, because he is assuming all these things. I know I cannot change his mind and we will break up no matter what I say. Also I dont want to force him into being unhappy. But we are supposed to skype tommorow should I mention to him the stuff I kept from him like: how I was going through a tough time over the summer and thats why I couldnt talk to him as much, and that I had every intention to be with him forever and I was planning my life accordingly (even though he thinks I havent)? I love him so much its killing me to see him this way, but its also killing me that he thinks I havent tried.
Recommended Posts