Mr. Gullible Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Hello... I dated a woman for a few months a few months ago. She broke up with me when things were going to get serious. They were already serious, but instead of going right, we went left. She had not been serious about anybody for a couple of years, nor had I. I fell in love and I believe she did as well. I am 40, she is 26. Age was never an issues with us, although I am more established as far as earning, assets, and all that stuff. But I am humble about what I have. I had not had this kind of conection in years...it was instant, for both of us. We both have some commitment/abandonment issues, and they did triggers each other. After 4 months of no verbal contact, only through e-mail, it is time to get together for a drink. We have plans next week and I am more than a little nervous, as is she. My questions is not weither or not I should stay away from a woman with issues...we all have them. It is about the first time we see each other after our break up. I believe that someday we will be together...maybe a week, month or years from now. I believe she is the one. I do not have a frame of reference as far as seeing an ex to see if we can be friends. I would be happy just getting to know her better and seeing where it went. I know that I am a catch...I am reasonably good looking, I earn a good living, I am youthful at heart, I am a truly good guy. How does the first meeting go? Have you had one of these events where you are nervous and don't want to do anything to ruin the moment? should I keep it short...drinks only or maybe a movie...how much time is too much. I tend to be agressive when I want something in business, but this is not business. How should I play this?
mixwell Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Well Mr Gullilbe I am a young buck (21) so I don't have as much experience in life as you do. I did however read this ebook "how to get your ex back". In this "battle plan" it says that once you get done with the NC and all that to ask them on a date. It says to keep it short and be happy. The reason is this. Usually when you start dating someone and you hang out you don't want the time to end. So basically by keeping it short, the person sees the best side of you and even though you don't want to end it early, it might actually make your ex want to see you more. You want to keep them interested in a sense and not give out too much on what you've been up to. Also you should mainly let your ex talk and just sit there and listen. After all women like to talk a lot and they like a man who can listen to them. My advice would have to go along those lines as well. Make it a short date and have fun. This will spark her interest and make her think of the good ol days. And if you are the dumpee, and you're the one that ends the date early it lets her know that she you are independent (as I'm sure you are) but it lets her know that you don't need her. You see what I'm saying. So thats what I think. I can't say I would do the same in my situation with my ex, but I do think it leaves an impression on them and makes them wonder why you didn't want to stay longer. So hope this helps you ! Remember mainly though, just have fun on your date and be happy. Don't bring up the relationship though. If she wants to talk about it then its ok. Take care and have fun on the date !!
alphamale Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 pretend like it's a first date -keep it light hearted and non-serious -laugh a lot -don't pick her up, meet somewhere -don't bring up the past -keep it fairly short, 2 hrs or less -this is most impt, don't come off as desperate or too available -if she asks if u are seeing someone and you are not then lie and say you are dating someone casually but give no details at all.
Author Mr. Gullible Posted January 5, 2005 Author Posted January 5, 2005 Thank you guys for your reply...were can I get the book you are talking about? I have a week or so to read it.
nan Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 http://www.geocities.com/planetasia77/GetYourExBack.pdf Nan
mixwell Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 haha thanks nan. I just read the post asking where to get it and i was about to reply and I saw you took care of it. Its a interesting ebook Mr. G. That link is to my geocities website so you can download the pdf and save it. I would suggest printing it out though because its about 73 pages I think. You can skip to the end though, if you want some more dating advice.
Author Mr. Gullible Posted January 8, 2005 Author Posted January 8, 2005 I read the info that you provided and it was very helpful. Most of the things that is says to do, I have done already. We had extended periods of no contact, I have been out with other women, hit the gym and made several major changes to my life, both in the people that I call friends and how I lead my life. I could not help but seem different to her. I do have a weak spot when it comes to this one woman. I have a child from a previous marriage who is almost an adult now. I want to start another family now....I want more kids. I did not know that before I started dating this woman, but I did after. I told this woman that I was in love with her, I told her that I would be into the whole family thing if we progressed in that direction. That said, how do I not project that to her when we meet. I have not ever missed anybody as much as I miss this one woman. Remaining cool and calm is going to prove very hard to do. I read very much as a book...it is that look I get in my eye with her, that smile. I am super nervous...it is much like our first date. Any success stories anybody can share???? Or am I just holding on to a fantasy?
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