Mixed signals from crush

[Nanners]

Over christmas break I am working a seasonal job at a college basketball arena. Back on saturday I noticed a cute girl staring at me. We made eye contact, I smiled and then had to look away to help a customer.

 

After my shift I ask all my friends about this mystery girl. Come to find out shes a basketball player and she was single. So I gave myself a goal to talk to her on monday.

 

Luck have it on monday she had to work with my friends and I in the concession stand. I introduced myself and asked where she was from. She told me but she didn't look at me. She was too busy pulling her phone out.

 

I took it as a hint that she wasn't interested so I gave up trying. After a few hours she surprised me by walking over to my station and started to tease me on my cooking skills. We had a good laugh and we started to tease each other for a few minutes.

 

After the teasing was done I decided I should try again so I ask her basic questions about her life. But again she never looked at me, she was too busy messing with her phone. Although this time when she was answering my questions she sounded really nervous.

 

Ironically her coach came into the concession stand towards the end of the shift and asked her why she missed practice the other day and the coach added "was it because of a hot date?" She replied with " No. You know me I never go on dates"

 

Her coach added that she was going to find someone soon thats willing to take her out. I think her coach knew I have a crush on the mystery girl. We are friends and the word must of gotten to her that I was asking about one of her players.

 

What do you guys think is she interested in me?

Edited December 24, 2013 by Nanners

[Philosoraptor]

Yes? No? Maybe? Ask her out and find out.

 

Her actions though show interest and you've got zero to lose by asking her out.

[GemmaUK]

Yeah I think she is quite possibly interested...but is shy about talking about herself.

 

When you approached her she plays with her phone.

She had the balls to come and talk to you though and I'm guessing it was a conversation about your job or what was going on with the last customer you had or something - maybe even your uniform if you wear one?

 

Next time you talk to her speak about your surroundings or something about you or your job..or maybe pick up the teasing where you left off if you can.

Make it something other than direct questions about her and she might just stop playing with her phone and look at you.

 

Direct questions can be tough, especially when you don't know someone at all, it's easier to have a conversation about something else when you first are getting to know someone.

[Nanners]

Just found out my boss made changes to the work schedule. He made it to where my crush is working with my friends and I for seven days straight starting friday (he knows I have a crush on her thats why he made the changes).

 

Thats both great and bad at the same time. Its great because it gives me more time to make a connection with her, however, Its also bad because its going to be akward if I ask her out and she turns me down.

 

I think im going to wait to see how friday goes. If it goes great im just going to go for it and ask her out. If she says no thats okay. I just hope it doesn't turn akward after that when she works with me.

 

Yeah I think she is quite possibly interested...but is shy about talking about herself.

 

When you approached her she plays with her phone.

She had the balls to come and talk to you though and I'm guessing it was a conversation about your job or what was going on with the last customer you had or something - maybe even your uniform if you wear one?

 

Next time you talk to her speak about your surroundings or something about you or your job..or maybe pick up the teasing where you left off if you can.

Make it something other than direct questions about her and she might just stop playing with her phone and look at you.

 

Direct questions can be tough, especially when you don't know someone at all, it's easier to have a conversation about something else when you first are getting to know someone.

 

Thats what I was thinking. Im guessing looking at her phone is her way of handling stress. When I work with her on friday I'll make sure to talk more about our surroundings rather than direct questions.

[Nanners]

Heres an update for everyone.

 

On friday we flirted/tease each other a lot but I noticed something when I give her attention she walks away and forgets about me but the second I start a conversation with someone else she comes back to me and starts flirting or gives me hard time like kick the broom when im sweeping.

 

We even made physical contact. She was having troubles getting a trash bag out of the can and she called me over to help. When I walked over she refused to let go of the bag so I thought this was a good oppurtunity to test the waters. Its kind of hard to describe what I did but the end result looked liked we were cuddling. At first she took a step back and when I saw that I step back. To my surprise when she saw that I took a step back she took a couple more steps towards me. We "cuddled" for a good minute.

 

My friends and I had what we thought was a fool proof plan. Our plan was that we were going to invite her and her friend to get coffee/hot chocolate after work. At first my crush said maybe. Towards the end of the shift she changed it to im thinking about it.

 

At the end of the shift we were standing at a desk doing head count to see how many cars we needed to take. One of my friends noticed that my crush was missing. I looked outside and saw her in her car leaving. She didnt even say goodbye to anyone.

 

Im really confused by this girl. Its like one moment shes really likes me but another moment its like shes not interested.

 

Has anyone dealt with a girl like this before?

[truth_seeker]

Heres an update for everyone.

 

On friday we flirted/tease each other a lot but I noticed something when I give her attention she walks away and forgets about me but the second I start a conversation with someone else she comes back to me and starts flirting or gives me hard time like kick the broom when im sweeping.

 

We even made physical contact. She was having troubles getting a trash bag out of the can and she called me over to help. When I walked over she refused to let go of the bag so I thought this was a good oppurtunity to test the waters. Its kind of hard to describe what I did but the end result looked liked we were cuddling. At first she took a step back and when I saw that I step back. To my surprise when she saw that I took a step back she took a couple more steps towards me. We "cuddled" for a good minute.

 

My friends and I had what we thought was a fool proof plan. Our plan was that we were going to invite her and her friend to get coffee/hot chocolate after work. At first my crush said maybe. Towards the end of the shift she changed it to im thinking about it.

 

At the end of the shift we were standing at a desk doing head count to see how many cars we needed to take. One of my friends noticed that my crush was missing. I looked outside and saw her in her car leaving. She didnt even say goodbye to anyone.

 

Im really confused by this girl. Its like one moment shes really likes me but another moment its like shes not interested.

 

Has anyone dealt with a girl like this before?

 

Yes. I have dealt with someone like this before. She's immature. She's unstable. Even if she does hook up with you, she might leave you without any explanation. You're crushing on a possible psycho.

 

Only way to know if she likes you is to ask her out.

[GemmaUK]

Gonna break this down a bit..to what I think.

I could be wrong but I'm into body language and people watching - but these are just my thoughts.

 

Heres an update for everyone.

On friday we flirted/tease each other a lot but I noticed something when I give her attention she walks away and forgets about me

What kind of attention were you giving her when she walked away? Was it talking face to face or was it teasing and play fight type behaviour?

 

but the second I start a conversation with someone else she comes back to me and starts flirting or gives me hard time like kick the broom when im sweeping.

Kicking the broom = play fight type behaviour.

Learned in play grounds when we were kids and is typical flirting. Boy pulls girl pigtails, he chases her, she kicks him in the shins..etc..etc..

It means a person wants attention.

 

We even made physical contact. She was having troubles getting a trash bag out of the can and she called me over to help. When I walked over she refused to let go of the bag so I thought this was a good oppurtunity to test the waters. Its kind of hard to describe what I did but the end result looked liked we were cuddling. At first she took a step back and when I saw that I step back. To my surprise when she saw that I took a step back she took a couple more steps towards me. We "cuddled" for a good minute.

This was physical stuff and help and probably amusing as well. That is the kind of attention she likes along with the play fight stuff.

 

My friends and I had what we thought was a fool proof plan. Our plan was that we were going to invite her and her friend to get coffee/hot chocolate after work. At first my crush said maybe. Towards the end of the shift she changed it to im thinking about it.

 

At the end of the shift we were standing at a desk doing head count to see how many cars we needed to take. One of my friends noticed that my crush was missing. I looked outside and saw her in her car leaving. She didnt even say goodbye to anyone.

This was un-fool proof! Coffee/chocolate means sitting down and talking.

She snuck away while she could and was hoping not to be seen so no one could try to persuade her to go.

 

 

She is a basketball player.

She is shy.

She likes play fight type flirting and teasing.

She scooted off at the thought of having to sit and talk.

 

She is shy and it sounds like she feels awkward in social situations unless they are physical. This would also account for her saying she never goes on dates as she finds it and them awkward.

She is a basketball geek.

(none of the above is meant to sounds nasty at all - but I think maybe this is how she is).

 

You and the guys could suggest a kick about in a park after work - she might be up for that.

Talking wise I think you're going to struggle a bit.

She might be OK totally one to one but she clearly isn't at that point yet - not for anything which is pre-organised anyway.

Is she on facebook? She obviously likes her phone so might be comfortable with email or chatting on there and that could be a way to get to know each other without everyone being around and watching (she might know about the work set up too and may well feel concious of it).

The more comfortable she gets around you the more likely she will be to stick around when you do talk.

You could ask her to go and do an activity with you once you have got to know her better.

 

The other option is to ask for her number sooner as you would like to text her (I would avoid saying 'call' unless you know she is happy chatting on her phone) and maybe go play 'whatever sport' or something sometime.

 

I still think she is shy..maybe a little awkward with social skills and actually talking is all. The trouble is that you might not get past that barrier. I hope you do though.

[Nanners]

Gonna break this down a bit..to what I think.

I could be wrong but I'm into body language and people watching - but these are just my thoughts.

 

 

What kind of attention were you giving her when she walked away? Was it talking face to face or was it teasing and play fight type behaviour?

 

 

Kicking the broom = play fight type behaviour.

Learned in play grounds when we were kids and is typical flirting. Boy pulls girl pigtails, he chases her, she kicks him in the shins..etc..etc..

It means a person wants attention.

 

 

This was physical stuff and help and probably amusing as well. That is the kind of attention she likes along with the play fight stuff.

 

 

This was un-fool proof! Coffee/chocolate means sitting down and talking.

She snuck away while she could and was hoping not to be seen so no one could try to persuade her to go.

 

 

She is a basketball player.

She is shy.

She likes play fight type flirting and teasing.

She scooted off at the thought of having to sit and talk.

 

She is shy and it sounds like she feels awkward in social situations unless they are physical. This would also account for her saying she never goes on dates as she finds it and them awkward.

She is a basketball geek.

(none of the above is meant to sounds nasty at all - but I think maybe this is how she is).

 

You and the guys could suggest a kick about in a park after work - she might be up for that.

Talking wise I think you're going to struggle a bit.

She might be OK totally one to one but she clearly isn't at that point yet - not for anything which is pre-organised anyway.

Is she on facebook? She obviously likes her phone so might be comfortable with email or chatting on there and that could be a way to get to know each other without everyone being around and watching (she might know about the work set up too and may well feel concious of it).

The more comfortable she gets around you the more likely she will be to stick around when you do talk.

You could ask her to go and do an activity with you once you have got to know her better.

 

The other option is to ask for her number sooner as you would like to text her (I would avoid saying 'call' unless you know she is happy chatting on her phone) and maybe go play 'whatever sport' or something sometime.

 

I still think she is shy..maybe a little awkward with social skills and actually talking is all. The trouble is that you might not get past that barrier. I hope you do though.

 

Before she would walked away we would usually be talking about our environment or she would jump in on a conversation my friends and I would be having. When she would walk away it would take a little bit but it was almost a guarantee she would come back to me. Usually when she came my way I would still be talking to my friends or I would be in the middle of doing something.

 

If I was in the middle of doing something that's usually when she would tease me. Some examples would be pouring oil for popcorn she would come over and start tapping my elbow so I would over pour, when I would carry the trash out she go out of her way to kick at the bags, and another example is she will nudge me when I would be bagging popcorn. That's just a few examples of many.

 

If I was talking to friends she will lean against the counter top next to me and would either jump in the conversation or stand there and listen.

 

Never thought of our "fool" proof plan as a un-fool one. We invited her friend so she wouldn't feel completely uncomfortable. My buddies and I have done this plan plenty of times with great success except with this one. I kind of like that this plan didn't work for her. To me it makes her different than the other girls we have done the plan to. It all makes sense now though.

 

I added her on facebook this morning. She accepted almost immediately. Looking at her profile we have the same taste in music so maybe I can make a conversation out of that. Also I'm seeing that she has three older brothers and shes the only girl. Could that be why she prefers the teasing side of flirting?

 

Anyways about the only step I got left is getting her number or just asking her out myself.

 

I think I'm going to go slow with her though. Starting tomorrow I work with her for six days straight so that gives me plenty of time to get to know her and it gives her enough to time to get comfortable being around me.

 

If this week goes great and she starts to open up to me I'll ask her out to go skating or take her bowling.

Edited December 30, 2013 by Nanners

[Nanners]

Alright guys here is another big update.

 

I worked with her yesterday. It was the same as usual she would tease me until I start giving her attention then she would walk away.

 

Im stepping up my game with the teaseing. I stuck ice down the back of her shirt. She retailiated by throwing a snow ball at me. Im actually starting to like this style of flirting.

 

I had a pretty big break through with her. I was by myself in a room cleaning when she walked in. To my surprise she actually held a calm normal conversastion with me.

 

We talked about her day and how crazy it was. And somehow the conversastion shifted to what she got her family for christmas.

 

Another thing is one her friends came up to me and told me they were surprise she was flirting with me. When I asked why they said her boyfriend of six months up and left her for another girl two months ago.

 

It makes sense. She must get scared when I give her attention and pulls away but when she does she starts having doubts and comes back to me. So im not dealing with a shy girl im dealing with a heartbroken one.

 

I think the answer to this is waiting for her to realize im a great guy that wouldn't do something like that to her. What do you guys think?