First Date Follow Up

[cobeflats]

This question is preferably for females, however no worries if you are a male and want to chime in.

 

I went on a first date over the weekend from online...had a good time, etc. She initiated some casual contact early on while joking...grab arm, etc. I was not physical at all during the entire date except for hello/goodbye hugs. I told her I would call later on in the week. (Holidays, she was leaving the next morning to visit family until Thursday or so).

 

Basically I didn't give any definitive signals on whether I was interested. At the time, my thought process was I wasn't getting any clear signals and that if someone is interested, they'll want another date to assess whether things progress or not beyond simply conversation and laughs.

 

To cut the story short, I got home and said the usual, great meeting you, hope you got home, but also added that I wanted to go out again and mentioned a place and date. She said that she had to work but that we could try and work out another time. Question is, now that I've made it more clear I am interested, will she call me if she is interested or do I need to call her later in the week? Just seems so predictable if I call her on the day she's getting back (but that would be the day to call in order to make plans for the weekend, the next day would be a little late and not allow enough time before the wknd). Part of my thought process is she will call me if she's interested and it at least presents a little more mystery of "what happened to his interest in the mean time, he hasn't called".

 

Kind of a lame question, but want feedback anyhow.

 

I live in the D.C. area where there is always plenty of competition.

Thanks

[d0nnivain]

No, she most likely won't call you; it's still early enough despite our modern society that she still expects you to do the pursuing. Reach out if you'd like a second date.

[writergal]

Well, since you texted (?) her after the date that you enjoyed meeting her and would like to see her again, I think she'll just assume that you will be the one to set up the 2nd date. I think you could call her the day she returns to find out how her family holiday went, and then use that as an opportunity to make solid plans for a 2nd date.

[GemmaUK]

Could you send a text while she is away to ask when would be a good time to call to arrange the date?

You could text her a Merry Christmas and just ask her if it would be alright to call while she is away or would it be better to call on the day she gets home to sort out the plans.

It just means you're thinking of her but understanding she is busy..but also getting the date idea back in her mind and giving enough time in advance to arrange it so it's not short notice.

[cobeflats]

Cool, this helps. From a guy's perspective early on in the dating process is a bit like walking on eggshells and jumping through hoops of fire. You females have it somewhat easier as if a guy is physically attracted on the first date, unless she comes across as completely desperate or even crazy, it is pretty hard to screw up.

 

However, the scale potentially tips the other way a month or two later in a relationship...

[deathandtaxes]

Make the move! Find out when she can be available and just set something up. I had a recent first date, went well, walked the lady to her car, and SHE said it was fun and we should do it again. But she left the rest of the details to me

 

 

So I shot her some evenings I could be available and offered a few places from which to choose. Easy stuff. Don't worry so much. Have fun!

[Eggplant]

She said that she had to work but that we could try and work out another time.

 

The body language she used to decline that offer is the clue. Did she make direct eye contact with you? Was she smiling and inviting? Or was she dismissive and disengaged?

[writergal]

Guys, the OP stated that she's out of town visiting family for the Christmas holidays right now. I'm sure he can call her either this week or call her on the day she returns, to set up his second date with her. Clearly, they like each other but gosh it has just been one date. Chillax folks!

[FitChick]

The body language she used to decline that offer is the clue. Did she make direct eye contact with you? Was she smiling and inviting? Or was she dismissive and disengaged?

 

Read his post. She was the one initiating contact while he was stand offish. She might think he isn't that interested.

[Iguanna]

I'd text a couple of times from now to the day she comes back for random subjects. On Friday evening I would text again saying "I heard X movie is good, wanna watch it this weekend?". If she says yes, then you are ok. If she says no and doesn't reschedule with exact date and place, she is not interested.

[FitChick]

You can't get to know someone while watching a film. I'd suggest ice skating or sledding since I think DC and most of the US had a snowstorm. Do they build sleds big enough for two adults? Cozy! Ice skating gives you an excuse to hold hands, "I'm falling!"