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dealing with myself and greiving mm over the holidays

blue963

By blue963
in The Other Man / Woman

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blue963 Established Member

blue963

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My MM is going thru a hard time this holiday season with the loss of his second parent. (No children and no siblings makes it even harder - nothing to distract you). Christmas eve was always their important day (same as my family). The connection isn't really great right now between the two of us right now. He has always turned to me when he has gone thru stuff....but this is really major. He just keeps to himself.

 

Not trying to be selfish here, but just trying to deal with my own emotions of this. I feel bad for him, understand, and feel need to cut him some slack. Yet im dealing from emotions from this because he is pulling away. It brings up a whole ton of my own issues about expectations, boundaries, self-respect, should I end this relationship, etc....

 

I guess I should just go on and do what I have to do for my holiday and not worry about him. But it hurts so very hard when we have been very close for 5 years.

Edited by blue963
whatatangledweb Established Member

whatatangledweb

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When I lost my father I didn't turn to anyone at first. I had to grieve on my own for many months. I had to come to grips with the fact that he was gone then I turned to my husband. Your MM may be this way. Everyone grieves differently.

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blue963 Established Member

blue963

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he passed in January of 2013, but very close to both parents, especially being an only child (which I understand because I am one). Lived right next door also. Spent alot of time together. I am just trying to deal with my own issues of him pulling away during this holiday season. Thanksgiving was really tuff for him and I saw it building the past few weeks with christmas coming up. Hes really honest about what hes feeling. Im sure hes very low today and he tends to withdraw from everything when it gets really bad. I guess this is two fold. I am worried about him....and I am missing him.

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