Am i entitled to ask for clarifications or is it too late ?!

[looneymalooney]

I'll make it short. She said she's not interested (signs were there) and refused to talk when i asked for why she acted in certain ways with me.

 

4 months of no contact have passed. Not that i intended to avoid her, it's just that i didn't do anything to meet that person anymore. She seemed to try and want to talk to me, but didn't contact me directly...

 

 

I still have some doubts about what happened. i don't think at her as gf material, but i'm amazed i got those things wrong and i'm still in shock...

I was thinking about sending a Holiday message and tell her i'd like to talk in January ?! How does it sound... I wanna know i wasn't seeing things...

Edited December 24, 2013 by looneymalooney

[Philosoraptor]

Wait, so she's not someone you want a relationship with and she's said she wasn't interested in you?

 

Massage your ego in a different way and don't let her opinion of you affect your self esteem.

[looneymalooney]

i messed up the message a bit.

I loved her at that time i asked. I still care for her now. At the moment i don't see her as gf material anymore.....

But i want to talk to her because saying NO, with all those signs messed up big time. Plus she refused to talk. I get over it, then i remember some things she was doing towards me and start to think about it again and how in the world did i misinterpret those. You simply can't make yourself busy 24/7. How can i bring it back up ? Should i ?

[lauri]

i messed up the message a bit.

I loved her at that time i asked. I still care for her now. At the moment i don't see her as gf material anymore.....

But i want to talk to her because saying NO, with all those signs messed up big time. Plus she refused to talk. I get over it, then i remember some things she was doing towards me and start to think about it again and how in the world did i misinterpret those. You simply can't make yourself busy 24/7. How can i bring it back up ? Should i ?

 

You shouldn't bring it back up. The only thing you need to know is she lost interest in you and there will be virtually nothing you can do to bring it back up by talking to her.

 

Seriously, I understand you are curious, but she ended it with you and you need to have the mentality it is her loss. You can be busy 24/7 because your time is better spent elsewhere! Is she trying to talk to you to be "Friends"?

[looneymalooney]

Does posting on Facebook about how she wishes someone was her friend and that she'll never give up on fighting for that friendship count ?! She stopped about a month ago though...

 

 

So now you'll ask why haven't i done anything to talk to her about those friendship quotes. Well because in the first half of the year, she used to post about LOVE and how she's waiting for her love to finally become true. I was also receiving some signs in real-life( turning around to look at me, protective, sharing things, staring at my face) so i decided to talk to her. She said no to my shock. She stopped posting....

These friendship quotes appeared after i sent her a message for her bday. BUT how the hell was i supposed to do smth after i got "humiliated" like that with those love posts... (asking friends for help is a bit tricky: my guy friends like her, her BFF likes me).

[looneymalooney]

What kind of human would expect another human to "see the message", especially after the first incident ?! Who would have the courage to approach her again, if they were in my situation? Why wouldn't she be more direct about it ... like calling (she has my number)

And all these things just bug me: why was she posting love quotes, what made her say no, why post friendship quotes now instead of talking to me ?!

[looneymalooney]

I'd like to get her to talk somehow, but i'm sick of doing the hard work...

[Mondmellonw]

I'd like to get her to talk somehow, but i'm sick of doing the hard work...

I did the hard work in my case, no answer.

I ended up the relationship, so I'm not sure of wanting it back (I must say no) but I still care a lot about him.

He isn't interested anymore.

I say, maybe you should try (like me) but don't have any hope.

I didn't get any response, but I feel better now, in some ways.

[smuggy95]

most of the time people aren't sure why they don't like someone. That's probably why you got mixed signals. She wondered, she was maybe curious about the idea of a relationship, but something didn't feel right and she backed out.

If you ask her, she'll say vague things like 'i appreciate our friendship too much', because she won't really know why either.

 

it won't make you feel any better, but you should not feel bad.

[CaliBabe]

Everyone here is telling you not to do it. You will accomplish nothing but giving her the satisfaction that she still has a hold on you. That she is still on your mind. That you are not over her yet.

 

It doesn't seem like you are looking for advice from posters here.

 

You want someone to encourage you to go and contact her so you feel you are justified. You are going to contact her anyway. So just do it. Let us know how it turns out.

[Zoe Lilith]

I'll make it short. She said she's not interested (signs were there) and refused to talk when i asked for why she acted in certain ways with me.

 

Nothing to be clarified!

[looneymalooney]

@CaliBabe

 

 

truth is i'm still not over her yet, but only bc i think she lied when she rejected me and that wasn't really how she felt and i'd want to know WHY.

 

 

I don't need people to encourage me to do it. I want someone to show me a way to find out what happened. If i'd know a message from me would make her snap back to her senses and tell me i was right, then i'd do it no regrets.

And she will answer bc i know her. But that wouldn't be enough. I need her to bring smth to the plate. She answered when i wrote a text on her Bday (i wished her for "all the better things in life" and she even wished me back). Then all those friendship quotes (i wrote earlier about), then waited for me to come be her friend. So she threw something out there, yet never openly asked me to be her friend.

 

 

i know she might just answer back and that's it, but i also realize that i'm getting in a time crisis now bc when she'll move on, every remorse will be gone and she'll just keep it to herself... Plus every single day that adds up to the NC is a slimmer chance to find out.

 

 

I really don't think she'll reach out to me... She started posting about friendship after i texted her. I didn't do anything and she stopped posting exactly around my Name Day ( a month ago), which she "forgot" about. She sended FB messages to others but not me and trust me i was closer to her than they were...

So: she either feels i have to make a move OR she has no idea i still want to talk to her,...

[looneymalooney]

Nothing to be clarified!

 

 

 

I respect what she said, that's why i gave her space: LOTS. i love her enough to leave her alone.

Every contact i had with her in real life, was influencing what she was posting on FB. Plus the looks, staring at my face, protective... so on.

She was so confusing. Nothing adds up... If after rejecting me she would have stopped i also would have...

[Zoe Lilith]

I respect what she said, that's why i gave her space: LOTS. i love her enough to leave her alone.

Every contact i had with her in real life, was influencing what she was posting on FB. Plus the looks, staring at my face, protective... so on.

She was so confusing. Nothing adds up... If after rejecting me she would have stopped i also would have...

 

Why would you want a clarification from her? Why bother? She obviously has no idea what she wants!

[looneymalooney]

Nothing to be clarified!

 

Why would you want a clarification from her? Why bother? She obviously has no idea what she wants!

 

 

 

I'd like to know i can spot interest when i see it. She left me hanging, i feel she was unfair and she played me.

Plus i'd like to know what was that made her hide her feelings.

[looneymalooney]

No. She doesn't owe you anything. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

 

 

 

i could never completely understand NC, especially when there's stuff left to discuss. It has some serious flaws...

 

 

What if she actually wants to say something (friendship quotes and all) just that she feels she has missed her chance since i'm "silent"...

On the other side i'm silent bc i have no idea what's on her mind and i avoid to contact bc "if she wants something she'll say it. leave her alone". so everyone losses and everything goes down the drain.

 

 

 

 

Merry Christmas !!!

[Zoe Lilith]

i could never completely understand NC, especially when there's stuff left to discuss. It has some serious flaws...

 

 

What if she actually wants to say something (friendship quotes and all) just that she feels she has missed her chance since i'm "silent"...

On the other side i'm silent bc i have no idea what's on her mind and i avoid to contact bc "if she wants something she'll say it. leave her alone". so everyone losses and everything goes down the drain.

 

 

 

 

Merry Christmas !!!

 

 

If she wants to say something, she will say it...she will find a way to contact you, to make you realize how and what she feels..if she was serious or if she new what she wanted, she wouldn't have allow everything to go down the drain in the first place..

[Zoe Lilith]

Merry Christmas!

[devastated777]

Let it go. No Contact. Seriously.