jen03 Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Hey there! I'm an electrical engineering student (girl) and I just started dating this awesome guy. We have so much in common, but lately I've found I've been trying to emphasize the feminine maternal part of me (knitting (ok So I exaggerated how often I did it), cooking, ETC) so he'd think of me as more than a friend b/c I really want a relationship- I'm in college and I've never dated/kissed/etc a guy before, and I feel like it's one of those things I'll regret when I'm older. I feel this sick sinking pit in my stomach because I feel like I may be dragging myself down into an eventual serious relationship that may turn into something more- his family is the kind that gets straight to business, meaning marriage! I noticed he's getting really attached to me and calling me a lot, and I also don't know if it's because I've emphasized these maternal feminine parts of myself or if it's because he just enjoys my company and my wit and my passion for my work. My friends tease me and call me a frat guy because I fear commitment, but at the same time I'm super conservative and this guy is one of the few that fit my standards. I don't want to lose him, but at the same time, I love my work too much and I don't know if I'd have enough time for him if we eventually do get married. I'm just so confused and I feel like now I need to make a major decision in my life - to become a housewife or continue on with my passion (my work), and devote myself entirely to work (I am seriously obsessed with electrical engineering and want to get my PhD eventually). Any of your thoughts would be great, if you'd like to share!
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Have you told your boyfriend this stuff? It would be very helpful if you sat him down and was completely open and straight with him - he is a lot more likely to understand the things you are saying that you've said here than he would a tepid "I'm confused and don't know what I want". You have made some very good specific points about what is concerning you, and it would be great for him to know them - all of them. He may have fears of his own to talk to you about. It may well be that the very act of talking out your fears will help you conquer them and you two can adjust accordingly.
Stevew311 Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 who said you would ahve to become a housewife if ya'll got married? we are in the 21st century girly. if you get married, and want to work, then do so. if its a matter of time for the both of you, he will understand, or he should anyway. if he doesnt then you know that hes not the right guy.
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