Kat_luv Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 He's the first guy I've dated since my BU a year ago, he's really nice but the dude is 22,still lives at home, doesn't go to school and I end up having to drive us everywhere on dates, even on the first date & I'm 19. We've been seeing each other for 2 months now and it's just kind of getting old. Not even sure if we're right for each other, our styles are totally different, he's not really my ideal and his personality reminds me of my dads which is a bit annoying. I already explained that I don't want to put a label on it, just dating where he's already emotionally attached and I may have made a mistake by sleeping with him too soon. For some reason I don't feel comfortable with him meeting my friends or family. I like his company, he's a nice guy but deep down I'm not sure if I feel right about our "relationship". Is it just me? I feel so shallow but I'm really not, with my last relationship the guy had a car but I lived in la so I would literally take 3 buses and a train just to see him every weekend. What should I do? just go with the flow and keep dating him or break it off?
Keenly Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 If you are not feeling it, you are not feeling it. Give him the respect he deserves and let him go, sooner rather than later. 3
Conners Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Does he have a reason for not driving or is he just lazy? My boyfriend doesn't drive either at the moment, he lost his license though and will be getting it back in a few months so I don't mind for now. It feels weird when the girl has to do all the running around though eh? Doesn't sound like you're that interested in him romantically? More just on a friendship level.
PegNosePete Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 If not driving is a deal-breaker for you, then break it off. Seems a bit shallow to me, but hey, we all have different priorities in our lives and we all have the right to define our own relationship parameters.
Guitarisgood Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 I think you're annoyance at his driving is a vehicle for your annoyance at all the rest of him that you cannot take. Let him go now before you get in too deep and the break up becomes more irksome. 1
rocketman122 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 (edited) I myself dont have a car and havent had a car for over 16 years. I drive two wheel. motorcycle and scooter all those 16. I have no car license. dont like cars. they make me nauseous when im inside. the girls I dated were always ok about it. some gave the "ahhhh, ok.." reply after they asked me where I parked my car and I said, I dont have a car. but if a woman is shallow to dump me because I dont have a car, then its completely her loss. motorcycles and scooter have a HUGE advantage compared to cars. crappy part is rain and cold. my last GF lived far from me. I would drive to her on weekends and we use her car to go where we needed. and during the week I went with the train and she picked me up. I almost always paid no matter what we did so her driving was her small share. when she came down with the train and had business meetings I would drive her where she needed. whats the big deal. dont compare him to you other BF. have him chip in for gas and tell him to make a license. if youre from the US, its cheap as EFF to get one. there is mandatory amount of driving lessons one has to do here and it costs a lot of money. its not the reason I dont do it. its just cars sit in crazy amount of traffic and that would drive me bonkers. and wtf is the problem with a 22yo living at home? me my sister and brother all left the house at 27/29/30. if you judge him at 22 then its obvious you have the problem. I think you have the issues. Edited December 24, 2013 by rocketman122
Jcksparr0w Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 "We've been seeing each other for 2 months now and it's just kind of getting old. Not even sure if we're right for each other, our styles are totally different, he's not really my ideal and his personality reminds me of my dads which is a bit annoying. I already explained that I don't want to put a label on it, just dating where he's already emotionally attached and I may have made a mistake by sleeping with him too soon. For some reason I don't feel comfortable with him meeting my friends or family. I like his company, he's a nice guy but deep down I'm not sure if I feel right about our "relationship". This says it all, you're simply not that "into him". I like this comment: "I may have made a mistake by sleeping with him too soon." You two are young, having sex early in a 'relationship' is common in your age group. Will this experience alter how you treat men on the sexual front ?? I doubt it... you will have sex with the next guy within the first 5 encounters, too.
d0nnivain Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 The lack of a car shouldn't be the focus. Are you dating the man or the car? (Although I admit a few sports cars have turned my head in the day) The bigger concern should be the seeming lack of ambition. Whatever the reason if you aren't getting enjoyment out of the relationship this early on, end it.
mammasita Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 He sounds like he has ZERO ambition. What are his reasons for living at home, no job, no license...... In any case, if you're not feeling it now - that's not going to change. Break it off. If he truly has ZERO ambition like it sounds, I think you can do better.
rocketman122 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 He sounds like he has ZERO ambition. What are his reasons for living at home, no job, no license...... In any case, if you're not feeling it now - that's not going to change. Break it off. If he truly has ZERO ambition like it sounds, I think you can do better. dont be quick to assume. some people take a bit longer to get a direction in their life.
WrinkledForehead Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 dont be quick to assume. some people take a bit longer to get a direction in their life. While that's all fine for them, many have already reached that point and don't always want to sit around waiting for others to catch up.
rocketman122 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 (edited) While that's all fine for them, many have already reached that point and don't always want to sit around waiting for others to catch up. 22 is nothing. soon youll tell me youre old to get married at 35.. 22 is still not developed in him mind to know what he wants. People just leave the army here at that age and are confused what they want to do with themselves. youre talking nonsense. many but far from the majority..not even close. people at 22 are just trying to get some direction let alone are doing anything in their lives.. Edited December 24, 2013 by rocketman122 1
Mariposa10 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Don't waste anymore of his time, before he starts feeling anything for you, etc... Just talk to him and stop seeing him.
mammasita Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 dont be quick to assume. some people take a bit longer to get a direction in their life. Your statement is complete BS. he's living at home mooching off his parents. WTF are his parents doing? They're pretty worthless IMO if they're enabling him. I'd make my kid, at the very least, get a job.
rocketman122 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Your statement is complete BS. he's living at home mooching off his parents. WTF are his parents doing? They're pretty worthless IMO if they're enabling him. I'd make my kid, at the very least, get a job. nonsense. mooching? youre talking as if you know the person personally. when I was living at my moms house she fed me and payed for everything but I was trying to find a job. youre taking the OP opinion but who knows what the real situation is? do you know? have you heard his side? because for me, I say he's 22, hes not mature enough to know wth to do with himself. most people that age have no clue. but they go to college or whatever studying what they think they might want to do. me? I was working as a short order cook at red robin. I didnt know wtf I wanted to do. after time I realized I wanted to be a professional photographer. I live in a country where army is mandatory. do you know what the VAST majority of them do when they finish? go on a trip for months sometimes a year. to clear their head so when they come back they might! know what they want to do with themselves. they go to college/university at 24!! youre talking nonsense..some people..sheesh.
rocketman122 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Your statement is complete BS. he's living at home mooching off his parents. WTF are his parents doing? They're pretty worthless IMO if they're enabling him. I'd make my kid, at the very least, get a job. and you sound like an asian. WHAT hes 22 and not working in a foxconn factory at 80 hours a week...? GTHO. you have no idea what youre talking about. the fact o the matter that the majority of people get a direction in life from 25 on..some are quick and know exactly what they want, but most have an idea but are confused..
Elias33 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 No, not shallow. Yes, gotta let him go. Agreed with all the folks advising you.
mammasita Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 and you sound like an asian. WHAT hes 22 and not working in a foxconn factory at 80 hours a week...? GTHO. you have no idea what youre talking about. the fact o the matter that the majority of people get a direction in life from 25 on..some are quick and know exactly what they want, but most have an idea but are confused.. Yep, that's exactly what I meant, 80 hours in a factory He could easily be working 15-20 flipping burgers.....it's something.
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