Abby1995 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 I think I might have posted this in the wrong thread I have been quiet stressed and sad lately. Everytime I am around my boyfriend I feel safe and happy. But whenever he is away I always feel worried not necessarily that he is cheating on me. But worried that our relationship is coming to an end. We have been dating for two years. Its a goo relationship but has had its fair share of ups and downs. Lately he has become so cold and distant. If I do not text him, he will not text me back. And when he does text me back, its normally short sentences and one word like "ight", "kk" etc. He seems so uninterested in anything I have to say or do even when I tell him happy news. A few days ago he did something really stupid. He pretty much disrespected my wishes and decided to do something that he new I didn't want. All I expected him to do was apologize and ask how to make me feel better. When I told him that what he did really hurt me all I got from him was "hmm". So I got annoyed and started cussing saying that he doesn't fu*king care about my feelings. He never apologized. After two days of being angry I decided to let it go and talk to him. I told him that I wanted to talk to him in person and sort things out. This was on Saturday. He promised to come on sunday but changed his mind last minute, he said Monday and changed his mind again. Now he says tomorrow and I don't know if he will change his mind. I took a pic of us on his camera and asked him to send it to me. After he did I put it on my instagram and,facebook. I rarely ever post anything of us and sometimes deletes after I put it up. Since the past two years that we have been dating my boyfriend has never posted any thing that Indicates im his girlfriend on any of his social networks. He constantly makes excuses that he doesn't want people in his business but sometimes just a little something to show you are proud of your significant other. Back to the pic yesterday, My boyfriend got mad at me today and said that I always put pics that he sents me on social networks. I asked him why he has a problem with it and he said he didn't want to talk about it. I asked him again and he said sternly for me to forget about it. He claims that I am selfish and always think about myself but he wont explain how or give examples. Because I got mad at him and finally decided to let it go, he is also playing games and acting cold and distant. We have a lot to talk about tomorrow but I feel like we will break up or end up taking a break. I was always against the idea of taking breaks but now I am actually willing to if it is going to help our relationship. I love him to death and really want to spend forever with him. I just have this sad lonely emptiness in me. Its like im in a relationship but I feel single. Has anyone felt this way before? Any advice on how to save this relationship? Should I give up and let him go? Please help me. Also, everything is always about sex to him. He has a crazy sex drive and I prefer cuddling and watching movies. We almost always fight about sex. Him wanting it all the time and me not so much. IDK if that has anything to do with this. But the thing he did to hurt me had something to do with sex. Just cant say what.
Philosoraptor Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 You two are obviously mismatched and neither of you are satisfied in this relationship. Nothing more really needs to be said. You can continue to drag this out or you can end it. You've seen what he has to offer you and you're not happy with it. No need to settle for someone who doesn't make you a priority. If you choose to end it you need to take care of yourself and not get sucked back in. Heal up, keep busy, surround yourself with friends and family, and eventually move on and find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated.
kjohn Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 From what you have posted it does sound like something may be bothering him. If he is not talking to you about it, that in and of itself is a problem. When two people are in a committed relationship they should be able to talk to each other. You don't want to be in a relationship with somebody that you have to chase down, demand that they come over and instruct them to talk to you. If he is not coming to you of his own free will, that says something about how he feels about the relationship. Also, from what you have described it doesn't sound like this is the most healthy, stable relationship to be in. Ask yourself this very difficult question and be brutally honest with yourself…"Are you truly happy in this relationship or are you just in love with the idea of being in a relationship?" My counselor once told me "What you have now is what you will always have." Meaning that you can't change other people. He is who he is and he behaves that way that he behaves. Is this kind of behavior what you really want to put it with for the rest of your life? If you are not ready to end this relationship and you truly feel that it might be worth saving, if I were you, I would stop chasing after him. Stop texting him. Stop demanding that he come over to talk. Just leave it alone and see what he does. It sounds a little bit like playing games, I know, but sometimes if you constantly chase somebody you leave them feeling as though they can take advantage of you because you will always be there. If you stop chasing they may think "Hey, wait a minute. Where are you?" and then they will come after you if you are important enough to them. BUT if you stop chasing and they don't care…..you have your answer.
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 I think that he is trying to get you to end it because he is too much of a coward to do it himself.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 You two are obviously mismatched and neither of you are satisfied in this relationship. Nothing more really needs to be said. You can continue to drag this out or you can end it. You've seen what he has to offer you and you're not happy with it. No need to settle for someone who doesn't make you a priority. If you choose to end it you need to take care of yourself and not get sucked back in. Heal up, keep busy, surround yourself with friends and family, and eventually move on and find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated. I agree with everything here. He isn't making you a priority. It doesn't sound as though he's all that eager to sort out the problems. And he gets upset when you post pictures of the two of you online - why? That is also very questionable. If you end this relationship or take a break, don't do it with the intention of "saving" the relationship. Do it with the intention of requiring more from your partner and finding happiness.
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