A nightmare last night that ruined my day

[JDPT]

So I dumped off a 4.5 year relationship roughly 8 months ago. I have made a substantial amount of progress in these months. It certainly did not come easy at all. For the past 3 weeks or so the pain lifted, I honestly thought I was "cured" I felt calm, relaxed and was essentially for the first time looking forwar to life. However, last night I had a nightmare, I address is as nightmares when they pertain to my ex. In my dream, her an I were laying down my hand was between her legs, really close to her and I could felt the warmth of her body (no clue what that meant). I asked her if she was seeing anyone and her respond was yes. Upon proving she disclosed that they have been dating for 4 months and gave me his name. I proceeded to ask if she was happy and her response was as she gave me the saddest face, "no, I'm just trying to fill the void you left...." At that point literally jolted myself away but not without leaving me in pain which lasted this entire dash. Reality is that we has been broken up for 8 months and I would actually expect her to be dating and sleeping with other people, just not certain why this dream bothered me so much to the point that it ruined my day. Honestly, her "response" in the dream gave me a little hope, which remained in the dream, I'll like to think. I deep inside know there is no turning back, I don't want her back, I don't need her back I just want to move on with my life once and for all.

[bob the brave]

Remember dreams are created by our minds, therefore everyone in them is some expression of ourselves. The 'girlfriend' in your dream cannot really be your ex, but is rather the personifcation of some emotion, thought or desire of your subconscious; a way for your mind to deal with issues. It's were buried emotions come out to play.

 

I'm certainly no threapist, so take this with no validiity at all but given this theory, in your dream your closeness, admission of loss and unhappiness by your ex the jolting away could simply be expressions of your own subconscious feelings of loss and unhappiness which is perfectly normal no matter the specifics.

 

As a practical matter, I have had freinds that were masters at finding replacements immediately after a breakup. I guess they just didn't like being alone. I could never hookup just to avoid being solo, but overall they seemed to be some of the most well-adjusted, popular and happy people I knew. They just moved on and didn't let it get them down.

[Toddbt12y1]

I do not think that there is a better way to say this, then how Bob the Brave said it. Amazing. He is right.

[Mariposa10]

I had nightmares like that, they felt so real... Anyway, I suffered all that in reality.

 

 

Before you went to sleep, were you thinking about her? Whenever I dream of something it's because I have been thinking about it...most of the time...

[JDPT]

Yesterday was a terrible day. I haven't experienced those in a very long time. Luckily today is a better day. Sometimes we just need to weather the weather.

[yorkie]

JDPT i feel for you mate i know how you are feeling i had a very ****e'd up dream last night i even woke up shouting her name it shook me and i have had her on my mind all day today. the best thing to do is to get out and meet others like mates etc this helped me today. i feel your pain one day you are fine and its lasts a few days but then boom your back there again. its mad aint it just think though we are having more good days than bad. also dont forget its a hard time this time of year. we all can be excused for any feelings

[JDPT]

I thank my perseverance and commitment at moving forward. It's a process none the less even for those seasoned individuals who have dealt with hard pounding emotional blows in life. I'm 8 months post BU and I can honestly attest to the substantial amount of progress I've accomplished. I only look forward never looking back, however, I must also thank the past for making me the man I am today and becoming for future emotional encounters. Keep pushing forwards, we'll make it out of this alright.

[yorkie]

yeah we all will its just life throws some hard times but that is life. we will all fall in love again and we will all fall out of love again lol. lets just say it was a dream that hurt but hey we will get stronger!

[JDPT]

I feel that we are better prepared now. As if we were giving a blueprint and guide to walk us through the process. Oh I'm sure it'll still hurt but with the benefit of knowing how to make that pain work in our favor.