singledad1964 Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 A bit of advice would be helpful. I am 40 and I met a young woman who I assumed was in her mid to late 20's. I asked her out and we went to dinner and had a great time. It turns out she is only 19. Should this be an issue or should I just see what develops? thanks
Pocky Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 I highly doubt that a 19 year old girl is going to be at the maturity level needed to have a relationship with a 40 year old man. If you're just looking for a young bed-buddy then I'm sure a 19 year old fits the requirements, but I personally don't feel you should be considering a long-term relationship with a 19 year old. This girl still needs to experience life and getting tied down to a 40 year old man doesn't seem right to me. She's too young for you. She should be allowed to experience life as a capricious teenager and having a relationship with a 40 year old isn't going to provide that.
alphamale Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Originally posted by singledad1964 A bit of advice would be helpful. I am 40 and I met a young woman who I assumed was in her mid to late 20's. I asked her out and we went to dinner and had a great time. It turns out she is only 19. Should this be an issue or should I just see what develops? thanks No, it should not be an issue and I'll tell u why.... Cause in about 35 yrs when you are in the nursing home with tubes sticking out of you then you will remember this girl and what u did (or did not do) with her.
iceisles Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky She's too young for you. She should be allowed to experience life as a capricious teenager and having a relationship with a 40 year old isn't going to provide that. I'm with Pocky. While age shouldn't always be a critical factor, she needs to date people closer to her age right now. I haven't seen many relationships with this large of an age gap work out well in the long run.
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 I'd say GO FOR IT...If you both like eachother, enjoy eachothers company, why not? My advice is be open and honest with her. She may fall harder for you, being a girl and all, but also not as much experience as you...But I personally think there is nothing wrong here, and women mature faster than men. She just will 'skip' those games that Some guys do in the teens and early 20's as they are still just looking to get laid. You could be a wonderful experience for her, as well as yourself. Maybe it will work out, maybe not...Just don't pass up an opportunity because of age.
Lil Honey Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Okay. I don't know you, so please don't take this personally. I can see some the point that "age shouldn't matter." However, I am 44. My daughter is 21. That means that I am close to your age and your GF is close to my daughter's age. Sooo, being a mom of a 21 year old, if she were dating a 40 year old guy, I'd wonder what is wrong with you that you can't find a nice lady your own age. I would wonder just how you were going to end up hurting her. (I know that someone will say that it wouldn't be any of my business, but she IS my daughter and that changes things up for me.) My question is, Where is your GF's mother? Then, I would wonder about my daughter. Why does she feel that she needs to see a 40 year old man - someone who could be her father? I would be concerned about how she feels about herself. I would wonder if she is aware of how much control an older man can have on her life. I would wonder why she isn't interested in a young man her own age. I just watched the movie Something's Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson this past weekend. You may want to take a look at it.
Barby Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Would you be comfortable being a "sugah daddy" giving her money, buying her things in exchange for her time (and probably eventually sexual encounters)?? The reason I ask this is because what is the likelyhood a 19 year old YOUNG girl will want to be with a man in his 40's unless he is wining and dining her...giving her gifts/money, ect...THEN once he's hooked she'll probably be off dating/cheating with guys her own age.. How could you two go out with her friends w/out her feeling like she has her father there with her? Sorry but it's too weird..if she does want to be with you IMHO chances are ---She wants a "sugah daddy" ---She is confused and really seeking a father like figure ---She'll keep you "hidden" from her friends and family Or something along those lines...if you like younger women, nothing wrong with that in itself but you need to find someone who's at least have quite a bit of time to experience life/bar scene, ect...
iceisles Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Originally posted by Barby Would you be comfortable being a "sugah daddy" giving her money, buying her things in exchange for her time (and probably eventually sexual encounters)?? The reason I ask this is because what is the likelyhood a 19 year old YOUNG girl will want to be with a man in his 40's unless he is wining and dining her...giving her gifts/money, ect...THEN once he's hooked she'll probably be off dating/cheating with guys her own age.. How could you two go out with her friends w/out her feeling like she has her father there with her? Sorry but it's too weird..if she does want to be with you IMHO chances are ---She wants a "sugah daddy" ---She is confused and really seeking a father like figure ---She'll keep you "hidden" from her friends and family Or something along those lines...if you like younger women, nothing wrong with that in itself but you need to find someone who's at least have quite a bit of time to experience life/bar scene, ect... I concur. Definitely alterior motives at play.
Hund1976 Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Well I think as long as you aren't expecting anything long term to come out of it then it might be okay for a little while.
Lil Honey Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Agreed. In twenty years there (should be) a whole lot of maturity-level differences. IMHO, young people are too trusting of others and they just simply don't have the life experiences to understand some things. I also feel that they have a sense of "it-won't-happen-to-me."
Author singledad1964 Posted January 5, 2005 Author Posted January 5, 2005 i appreciate everyone's input. it is strange, i have been out with a number of women since my divorce and never once did age arise. there was one 23 year old (who looked 30) who i went out with and we had nothing to say to eachother, but there have been 40 year olds who also did not stimulate any conversations or dialouge. not being one to jump into the sack quickly, i do not feel that i would be using her, nor she using me since money is not the worry. the funny thing is that i can pass for early 30's so do you consider actual age or physical age? strange questions that i thought i would never have to ask, let alone answer .
zilverenvvlinder Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 singledad, you should do whatever you feel is right for you. If you like this girl and she likes you, you should go for it. Who knows what may come out of it? She could turn out to be a wonderful person who loves you/and you love her back. My best friend's mother is divorced and 43, and her boyfriend is my best friend's age...21. They've been seriously dating for about two years and now the'yre engaged and everyone is cool with it, because they're right for each other contrary of their ages. So do what you want! Make your own decisions. Luv Adria
XNemesisX Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 I'm still going to have to say this is just too weird. Sure, they say age is only a number....but just as others have said there is NO way you could really have an equal relationship. (at least not in my opinion). You have much more life experience than she does. Would you really even feel comfortable being with someone who is young enough to be your child? I'm almost 22 and I don't think I could even date anyone over 30. I just don't think we would be on the "same page." Plus, I hate to be mean here...but eventually you are going to start showing the signs of aging and then she will be more likely to leave you for a younger version... UNLESS--- You are filthy rich. I know it sounds shallow and like I'm generalizing, but the young women I have known to go for men approx 20 years their senior are men with money coming out of their ears. Someone mentioned this "sugar daddy" thing. I am wondering that myself. So I guess the question is, are you filthy rich?
Author singledad1964 Posted January 6, 2005 Author Posted January 6, 2005 yes- but she does not know that
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 yes- but she does not know that Well, let it play out and see what happens. Just be upfront and honest with her. 19 year old's are romantics and can easily fall inlove...But also 19 is old enough TO know and understand what is going on. I mean 19 is almost 20! Its not like she is 16. s*** my first time I was 17 and he was 37! Yeah I know! But I can look back and know that he taught me alot in bed, and didn't play games with me...Well, until I fell for him too hard and then he and I did the FBW for waaay too long. But, each situation is different! Good luck!!
soccorsilly Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Man if she IS 19 and LOOKS ten years older now...what the hell is she gonna look like at 30? 40? 50? Men age more gracefully, so later in life you may be dating a hag! LOL Seriously, I am 42 divorced 4 years and a good friend of mine gave me some sage advice. Do not go beyond a decade in either direction. He was 35 and divorced and had been dating this woman who was 52. THe sex was unbelievable and all of a sudden it dawned on him. Actually, it was a Thanksgiving dinner and he looked out from the kitchen to see this 52 year old vixen getting naked and masturbating on the living room floor for him. He looked, and said to himelf, "Self, she is two years younger than my MOTHER" Endo fo conversation and end of relationship! All told, I think it is pretty good advice. Go no younger than 30!
Author singledad1964 Posted January 7, 2005 Author Posted January 7, 2005 funny thing i had a fling with a 52 year old as well and the sex was incredible- but i had the same thoughts about the age deal.
debs Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 [font=courier new][/font][color=indigo][/color] Singledad....My daughter at the age of 23 informed me she has a patron at the work place paying her advances. He was in his mid 40s, well established etc etc. I do not normally step in to her life as I did that time. We discussed this at great length about the age difference. Sure if the younger counter part has lived and sow-ed their oats, it possibly could work!? But sorry as my child found out, closer to her age is far better than the future of a man who has had a stroke or major health issue and caring for him until his death. I do not advocate dating half your age plus 7 years which is the acceptable social scale! I rather doubt other than a play toy for you and a person who showers her with things she has yet experienced is all this will amount to? I wish you luck with your younger lady! As I said I love a happy ending!
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Actually, it was a Thanksgiving dinner and he looked out from the kitchen to see this 52 year old vixen getting naked and masturbating on the living room floor for him. He looked, and said to himelf, "Self, she is two years younger than my MOTHER" OK thanks for that visual and next Thanksgiving I'll be thinking of some older naked lady, masterbating on the livingroom floor! LMFAO! Were there others around or was she just in that mood for fun!
Mary3 Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 She does not know you are Rich ? Are you sure about that,...? Maybe she does .....what kind of watch you wear...your clothes...your car....unless you a jeans and t shirt kinds of man with a 12 year old car.,..she may have figured out you DO have money... So which is it ?? Are you sending signals that you have money ?
Author singledad1964 Posted January 10, 2005 Author Posted January 10, 2005 does wearing a cartier, driving a vette and sitting in the front row at the laker games count.
soccorsilly Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Methinks we are being screwed with again!
Barby Posted January 10, 2005 Posted January 10, 2005 Originally posted by soccorsilly Methinks we are being screwed with again! Exactly, I think this is a case of a fake post, a poster creating "fantasy" to "toot their own horn" Oh and is that a corVETTE or a cheVETTE???
Recommended Posts