SYLLPalmer Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I was in a horrible rut for 5 years. Then acute pain caused by cyber blindsiding and a near "no no" with a married man forced me forward. My mommy pulled the plug on my denial maker and then the **** hit the fan. Ouch!!!!!!!!!! I reconnected with an ex from pre rut days. Something I never would have done. I did it because I thought learning of his wonderful life would horrify me but distract me. He was so gentle and so helpful and his new life horrifies me but he did the work to get it. He helped. 48 hours later = today I dug up ipod and smoked a cigarette and then ran for 18 minutes on the tread mill. I still want to blow chunks but that is probably more from the cigarette. And I am playing around on POF. That = empowerment and possibility. JFR my helper ex found his current happy life with OLD. No guarantee but just possibility and shear entertainment. Also reminds me I am not the only one without a right one. Gotta work to get out of pain. Gotta remember that Rome was not built in a day. Fishing for tips and encouragement and hoping maybe to encourage the silent. Peace and Holidays.
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