Softie Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 When I chased about getting my stuff back, why be annoyed at me? If they decided to leave why get angry about "stuff". A few days before I chased for my stuff I did send back his along with cards he'd given & gifts but surely as a dumper this meant nothing to him? Is it because I've removed the control they had, the excuse over possibility of contacting me again?
Trapito Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry you are hurting. - Maybe he doesn't want any contact - Maybe he is pissed you sent his cards and gifts back (they are yours to keep) -Maybe he sees you contacting him as a way to get him back You can't look in his head. Can you manage without your stuff? If so, let him keep it and just go NC. Please don't look into his actions to much, it will only hurt you. Hang in there. Edited December 23, 2013 by Trapito
Poppyolive Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Softie, I've been having the same issue. Except I had only 2 item to get, he on the other hand had a bunch of clothes and shoes. I suggested in sept when he dumped us, that he take all his things, but no...he decided to randomly require certain items, but in anger. I kept my cool and screamed on the inside with frustration. He actually..check this, came one night for his running shoes, i let him in to get them and told him there was a box with all his stuff. He fumbled around in the den, said thanks and left. I later discovered he only took one or two items. He then proceeded to text for other items, with anger over the following weeks. Again kept my cool, put his box outside the door, he nervously fumbled ,tried to say thanks and left. No he has all his things but I'm still receiving texts with random things of mine he has found.... they are not important, Ive been strict no contact for 2 weeks, before that LC only responding to his requests....Im hoping it completely stops, because its stressful and frustrating. My advice to you is, remove everything of his and return them somehow, get everything you require of yours back....keep it cool and don't join in on the level of his anger, remain cool, calm and whatev's about the whole thing. Go of and scream or come here to vent. and go strict no contact. I think its an emotional place for them too, i don't know how long you two were together or how old you guys are, but the stages the dumpees go through, im pretty sure they go through similar. Anger is easy to feel to justify their actions, put it on you to get a reaction so they have reason to believe they made the right decision. That's why its important to let go and entertain no aggression and game playing. Another could be guilt and possible regret. Its not our place to read into it, but just take cover and heal. Let them do the same.
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