Proof Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Not quite sure what to do about this situation. About a month ago, a few people at my work decided to go out for drinks after work. As the evening went on, this girl asked me if I was staying for another drink, everyone else had left by this point. She told me that she was attracted to me and had been for a long time. At work, she is kinda awkward and has been cold towards me. Whenever we are out at our staff xmas party or drinks on the last day of term she is all over me and showers me with compliments. On Friday we all went out for drinks after work and had a good time. She told me that she gets jealous when I talk to other women and that she doesn’t want me talking to attractive women. I ended up going back to her place that night. The whole time she has been saying to me, “When are you going to take me out on a date?” The next day she sends me a message saying that she just can’t do anything, she doesn’t like being vulnerable and that we shouldn’t contact each other again. This extends to work too, she won’t come over to my room and that I shouldn’t go to hers either. I’m not sure what she’s thinking and what I ought to do. Any help would be great.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 She sounds crazy. Some people might take issue with this but here are my feelings, take it or leave it: She'd probably have sex with you if you made a move on her when she's in the mood, the problem is it also sounds like she's be awful in a relationship and make a mess of it at the office. So a hookup would result in a messy bridge burning. If she's hot and you don't like anyone at your office anyway (I've been in this position before), I'd go for it and just make it clear its just a hook up. The sensible thing to do is just ignore her and there will be much less drama. But where's the excitement in that?
Author Proof Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Im wondering if I should get in touch with her on Xmas day/New Years or just leave it completely?
deathandtaxes Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Don't **** where you eat. Simple. Don't do anything with her. Don't hook up. Don't date her. Best to just leave it be.
felicity1 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 (edited) She sounds wierd. She is not even your girlfriend and is telling you not to speak to attractive women-and this is insecure and controlling even for a girlfriend to say! She has issues. I would forget about her. Edited December 23, 2013 by felicity1
Onethirtyeight Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Don't **** where you eat. Simple. Don't do anything with her. Don't hook up. Don't date her. Best to just leave it be. She sounds wierd. She is not even your girlfriend and is telling you not to speak to attractive women-and this is insecure and controlling even for a girlfriend to say! She has issues. I would forget about her. Just to play devil's advocate here. What if he doesn't care about what people think of him at work, like he works and she's not really in a position to make his standing at work any worse by going all crazy on him? Like what if he works at McDonald's and just does not care? I know its a long shot but its valid and something I never understood about the whole "don't **** where you eat" mentality, I've worked places where it would be more like eating where I **** to be honest. As long as he's honest and accepts the consequences I'm not going to tell him not to do it. Everyone involved just has to understand how messy this can get. Personally I wouldn't do it where I am in life now.
Author Proof Posted December 24, 2013 Author Posted December 24, 2013 So I should just leave it and wait for her to get in touch with me? I want to hang out with her outside of work.
felicity1 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 The whole time she has been saying to me, “When are you going to take me out on a date?” The next day she sends me a message saying that she just can’t do anything, she doesn’t like being vulnerable and that we shouldn’t contact each other again. This extends to work too, she won’t come over to my room and that I shouldn’t go to hers either. I’m not sure what she’s thinking and what I ought to do. Any help would be great. She's manipulating you. Do you really want to be manipulated by an insecure girl? Leave her alone. Her ignoring you is her way of luring you. And as I mentioned before, her telling you not to talk to attractive women is a bright red flag. She's controlling and will only mess with your head.
GemmaUK Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 She sounds very insecure and she sounds like she knows she is too (from what she has said about not liking you talking to attractive women but also from her saying it's best you two have no contact)- - which would make dating and dating a work colleague especially very tricky! Say you had to go on a business trip with a female work colleague who happened to be attractive? She is giving you an easy option out of this and if I were you - I'd take it.
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