Does the "Text your ex back" -system work?

[Shefo]

Hi!

 

Have any of you tried this Michael Fiores`s "famous" system?

 

Not that Im going to. Im 11 days NC and feeling better than I have in a long long time But Im just curious.

 

Anyone red the book and tried using this system to get her / him back?

 

Thanks.

[TylerDurdenn]

"System"

 

Lol.

[Shefo]

I actually just found a couple of threads about this. Sorry. Dunno how to use these forums obviously. Moderators can erase this by all means.

[Shefo]

Agreed. OP, don't waste your money. Your ex can only come back to you when they're ready. Anything else is manipulation - not a strong foundation for a relationship, particularly the second time around.

 

Dude is full of s***.

 

Yea Im not going to. Just very curios, cause the guy is making a sh*t load of money with his course. I went thru hell in the last 2-3 months.. did all the begging and stuff. I found the power of NC and Im not going to break it. Been 11 days (actually its felt like 110 days ), but ill stay strong.

[Shefo]

U really dont understand the effiency of NC unless u try it. For healing I mean.

 

After months of begging I want NC for 8 days, then broke it. I felt even worse than before going NC in the first place. Now im on day 11 and everytime I want to break it, I remind my self of how terrible I felt after breaking the first time.

[Shefo]

'Atta boy, sounds like you're doing fine.

 

Thanks mate. I feel good also. I feel good about my self again, but I still miss her. Look.. I need a big hard punch in my face right now.. so tell me: "Dont do it. Its a bad idea!"

 

Because..

 

Although I went thru the horrible phaze of begging and pleading, convincing and apologizing.. going no ego, going big ego.. tryed it all and at the end she cut me off completely and told me i was crazy and blocked me everywhere.

 

STILL, i know that she thinks that I did all that cause of my ego. Not purly out of love. And stopping the texting just like that.. boom, once and for all and going NC, only makes her be even more convinced, that I did it out of ego. She thinks that I went crazy only cause I couldnt handle being rejected.

 

So.. I want to send her a message on NYE. Just to say "happy new year". Nothing else. Ive been sending all the time these long messages where I talk about my feelings and blaa blaa blaa.. I think a simple message like that, would be polite and adult and it shows that Im doing all good. Now that Ive gone NC, i know that she thinks that Im over her and that Im already with a new girl. She`s probably telling her friends right now: "He stopped bombing me. Now he knows that he wasnt really in love with me. He just flipped out and couldnt handle being rejected. An egoist mofo"

 

So.. she would be surprized to get a Happy nye message. Im not expecting her to answer me. Cause she hasnt for like 1,5 months now. She did answer my messages in the beginning, but then told me, that she cant answer me, cause then Id just keep on bombing her even more. I know.. i was possessed. Even told her once that Ill soon seek some professional help cause Im obsessed with her. Anyways, I wont feel bad if she doesnt answer me cause I know she probably wont. And if she does, I wont text her again either. Id feel good if she answers.. cause then I know for sure, that she doesnt really think that im this lunatic mad man and that she said that I was crazy only cause she was angry at the time. A very very bad idea or go for it?

 

Sorry for the offtopic! And sorry for the long message. And definitely sorry for the bad english.. Im european.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Shefo

[headinthecloud]

The first thing you must do is stop caring about what she thinks. She should no longer exist in your mind. All those thoughts should be refocused on you.

[Shefo]

The first thing you must do is stop caring about what she thinks. She should no longer exist in your mind. All those thoughts should be refocused on you.

 

Actually they pretty much are all focused on me now. Back to the gym, eating and sleeping again. Re-newed my whole wardrobe etc etc. I feel like ME again. I just feel so guilty. I was a terrible bf and she still sticked by my side till I ended it, or actually she told me she wants to be with me but she wanted to let me go.. and I didnt resist. I agreed. So that makes me feel sooo guilty. Im sure she`s still bitter and hates me for what ive done. Saying "happy new year" would just show her that I still care. Im trying to be a good guy here. Thats why it matters to me what she thinks. Id get inner peace if she would answer. And if she doesnt, at least she still knows that I care. Lets put it this way.. what harm would it do? I mean.. I do want her back. But Ive let go of all the hope. Ive 100 % accepted the situation.

[radiodarcy]

Thanks mate. I feel good also. I feel good about my self again, but I still miss her. Look.. I need a big hard punch in my face right now.. so tell me: "Dont do it. Its a bad idea!"

 

Because..

 

Although I went thru the horrible phaze of begging and pleading, convincing and apologizing.. going no ego, going big ego.. tryed it all and at the end she cut me off completely and told me i was crazy and blocked me everywhere.

 

STILL, i know that she thinks that I did all that cause of my ego. Not purly out of love. And stopping the texting just like that.. boom, once and for all and going NC, only makes her be even more convinced, that I did it out of ego. She thinks that I went crazy only cause I couldnt handle being rejected.

 

So.. I want to send her a message on NYE. Just to say "happy new year". Nothing else. Ive been sending all the time these long messages where I talk about my feelings and blaa blaa blaa.. I think a simple message like that, would be polite and adult and it shows that Im doing all good. Now that Ive gone NC, i know that she thinks that Im over her and that Im already with a new girl. She`s probably telling her friends right now: "He stopped bombing me. Now he knows that he wasnt really in love with me. He just flipped out and couldnt handle being rejected. An egoist mofo"

 

So.. she would be surprized to get a Happy nye message. Im not expecting her to answer me. Cause she hasnt for like 1,5 months now. She did answer my messages in the beginning, but then told me, that she cant answer me, cause then Id just keep on bombing her even more. I know.. i was possessed. Even told her once that Ill soon seek some professional help cause Im obsessed with her. Anyways, I wont feel bad if she doesnt answer me cause I know she probably wont. And if she does, I wont text her again either. Id feel good if she answers.. cause then I know for sure, that she doesnt really think that im this lunatic mad man and that she said that I was crazy only cause she was angry at the time. A very very bad idea or go for it?

 

Sorry for the offtopic! And sorry for the long message. And definitely sorry for the bad english.. Im european.

 

Bad idea : You really don't know what she's thinking and whatever she does think of you is irrelevant. You are doing NC for you. Not her. So you don't need to prove anything to her. Just to yourself.

 

I too have been in the position where - - I thought I would take the "higher road" and send an ex a quick "hey how's it going", seasonal greeting, birthday message, etc.

 

But the moment I hit "send" I regretted it. Because as much as I told myself it didn't matter if he replied, I found myself checking my phone every five minutes to see if he responded (he didn't). Then the let down would happen and I would get depressed.

 

Sure. I'd pull out of it after a few weeks. Until the next itch. And then the cycle would start all over again.

 

My point is, how many times are you going to make that "one last attempt" to contact her only to get the urge to do so again and again?

 

As they say: a clean break is best. So instead of planning to send her that New Year's text, make it a resolution *not to* and just stick to NC.

 

I found that whenever I had the urge to reach out to an ex, I would just text a friend. A few times, I manually went through the list of every single contact on my phone - - including the pizza delivery place!

 

It helped me re-build a lot of the friendships that had faded since the break up and made me feel less sad and lonely.

 

Maybe that's something you could try. It's all about supplementing that urge and re-directing that energy elsewhere.

 

And of course, You can always come wish all of us here on LoveShack a Happy New Year instead

[Mrlonelyone]

Even the text your ex back system says to go NC for at least a month or so and to work on yourself, then not try to text them back until you are sure you want them for the right reasons, aren't emotional and needy, and can be objective.

 

Then it tells you basically to show that you are not hostile to them, that you have a nice life now, and to open the door to allow them to come back if they want.

 

It is about sending one or two text and seeing if you get a reply if not give up send a couple more. if not give up and move on.

 

 

In a way... it's the give your ex breadcrumbs until they decide to come back system.

 

I would say it's a waste of time, but then we have a forum dedicated to second chances. So it must work sometimes.

[eachcomingnight]

Saying "happy new year" would just show her that I still care. Im trying to be a good guy here. Thats why it matters to me what she thinks. Id get inner peace if she would answer. And if she doesnt, at least she still knows that I care. Lets put it this way.. what harm would it do?

 

From an outsider's perspective reading what you've written about "blowing up her phone" and her not responding to you for the last month and a half, I think it WILL do harm...it will make her think that all of this work you've done to keep NC hasn't meant a thing because you are STILL thinking about her and texting her - even if it's just one text.

 

She knows you have been thinking about her, trust me. Sending another message will only confirm her idea in your mind about you being a "madman." Let it go, like the previous poster said, take your wishes and use them on somebody else, and show her you are not a lunatic by acting like a sane, responsible individual who can fight off his urges to keep contacting her.

[Shefo]

Bad idea : You really don't know what she's thinking and whatever she does think of you is irrelevant. You are doing NC for you. Not her. So you don't need to prove anything to her. Just to yourself.

 

I too have been in the position where - - I thought I would take the "higher road" and send an ex a quick "hey how's it going", seasonal greeting, birthday message, etc.

 

But the moment I hit "send" I regretted it. Because as much as I told myself it didn't matter if he replied, I found myself checking my phone every five minutes to see if he responded (he didn't). Then the let down would happen and I would get depressed.

 

Sure. I'd pull out of it after a few weeks. Until the next itch. And then the cycle would start all over again.

 

My point is, how many times are you going to make that "one last attempt" to contact her only to get the urge to do so again and again?

 

As they say: a clean break is best. So instead of planning to send her that New Year's text, make it a resolution *not to* and just stick to NC.

 

I found that whenever I had the urge to reach out to an ex, I would just text a friend. A few times, I manually went through the list of every single contact on my phone - - including the pizza delivery place!

 

It helped me re-build a lot of the friendships that had faded since the break up and made me feel less sad and lonely.

 

Maybe that's something you could try. It's all about supplementing that urge and re-directing that energy elsewhere.

 

And of course, You can always come wish all of us here on LoveShack a Happy New Year instead

 

Yea, guess ur right. Im the biggest optimist and thats why I want to believe that maybe one of those "attempts" will soften her up. Cause post BU she told me, "Im too bitter and far too proud to forgive u". So now that ive been NC and will stick with it.. she will be thinking about me. I know it. Cause she truly loved me and that doesnt just fade away. And even if she misses me.. I dont know maybe she doesnt.. she wouldnt contact me. I know people here in LS say that "dont contact the other person. They will contact you if the want u back". I can say about my seld fe. that if someone I love, breaks my heart and crushes my self esteem, I would never contact them again. Even if I wanted them back so bad. Id never do that. But then rises the question: Why would i want someone back who have broken my heart? I wouldnt, unless theyd work their way back. Id make them pay and make them suffer and then I might forgive them. But I still wouldnt inniciate and do the first contact. My point is.. her pride took a hit when I walked. She would be happy if I sent her the message. But happy because she knows that I still think about her? Like in a girly "awwww" -way? Or in a "haha hes still after me and he still wants me back now Im on the top of the world and my ego just took a giant leap forward" -way? I dont know. Whatever the outcome is.. she will be satisfied. And like ive said before.. the guilt inside me, makes me wanna be a good guy. Maybe I wanna send the happy nye message for selfish reasons. Just to bring my self to her mind again.. with a normal, non emotional message that shows her that Im back on track.. the real Shefo is back. They guy who went bananas after being rejected, initiated NC for weeks and then broke it with a decent polite and mature short message. Cause she havent been online reading about these stuff. She doesnt know what the No Contact rule is. She doesnt know that Ive been here.. learning and studying. She knows me being an emotional guy, she would never think that ive started to rationalize things.

 

Uff.. what I know Im not Dr. Phil. Im just trying to find an excuse. I probably wont even send her anything cause Ill know then that hitting the send button will be a mistake. Maybe I just like the challenge and the drama. But I know I should listen to u. Cause ur a lady and u know how women think.

[Shefo]

From an outsider's perspective reading what you've written about "blowing up her phone" and her not responding to you for the last month and a half, I think it WILL do harm...it will make her think that all of this work you've done to keep NC hasn't meant a thing because you are STILL thinking about her and texting her - even if it's just one text.

 

She knows you have been thinking about her, trust me. Sending another message will only confirm her idea in your mind about you being a "madman." Let it go, like the previous poster said, take your wishes and use them on somebody else, and show her you are not a lunatic by acting like a sane, responsible individual who can fight off his urges to keep contacting her.

 

Thanks for the reply. U see? I need to read these things from u guys. For preventing me from doing any more damage.

 

Im just thinking that not contacting her ever again will just slowly make her start forgetting me day by day. I will fade away in her mind eventually. So I kinda have nothing to lose here. Thats what I think. A simple short happy new years message would just show that Ive moved on but I still do care about her. Cause "caring" was one thing I never gave her. I did a poor job in showing her that I cared. When u guys here say that its irrelevant what she thinks.. I dont think like that. Of course I wanna split up knowing that she thinks that I`ve moved on in an adult way. In a way healthy way and that I have enough self confidece of just wishing her a happy holiday with no emotional bs. She`ll probably be in a club a bit drunk then anyway, being all emotional and suddenly getting a message from me after midnight.. after weeks of not hearing anything from me.. I want to think it would be a good thing. But Ive been so wrong in the past and all of u here are so heavily against it, that I will listen to ur advice and maintain radio silence.

[radiodarcy]

Thanks for the reply. U see? I need to read these things from u guys. For preventing me from doing any more damage.

 

Im just thinking that not contacting her ever again will just slowly make her start forgetting me day by day. I will fade away in her mind eventually. So I kinda have nothing to lose here. Thats what I think. A simple short happy new years message would just show that Ive moved on but I still do care about her. Cause "caring" was one thing I never gave her. I did a poor job in showing her that I cared. When u guys here say that its irrelevant what she thinks.. I dont think like that. Of course I wanna split up knowing that she thinks that I`ve moved on in an adult way. In a way healthy way and that I have enough self confidece of just wishing her a happy holiday with no emotional bs. She`ll probably be in a club a bit drunk then anyway, being all emotional and suddenly getting a message from me after midnight.. after weeks of not hearing anything from me.. I want to think it would be a good thing. But Ive been so wrong in the past and all of u here are so heavily against it, that I will listen to ur advice and maintain radio silence.

 

I believe you more than made up for that by pursuing her these past - - 3-4 months was it?

 

If it's that important to you to show her that you've moved on - - contacting her - - again. Even if it's just one last time is going to prove the exact opposite.

 

Yes yes RADIO SILENCE - - hence my screen name ok not really..

[Mrlonelyone]

OP the best way to get your ex back is to move on. Go NC for a good long while. So long that you wonder why you ever liked them in the first place. So long that you pretty much forget about them and maybe even have another gf in there. If after that you still think this ex is worth the hassle try her back.

 

 

It's worked before.

[Shefo]

I believe you more than made up for that by pursuing her these past - - 3-4 months was it?

 

If it's that important to you to show her that you've moved on - - contacting her - - again. Even if it's just one last time is going to prove the exact opposite.

 

Yes yes RADIO SILENCE - - hence my screen name ok not really..

 

She actually wanted to continue with me even weeks post BU but she couldnt as long as I kept pressuring her about it. She needed the space and time to get her mind in the right place cause she was so hurt of the way I treated her. But to me, "I need time to be alone for a while" means, I wanna start healing and forget u. Wrong!! Cause she kept asking me how I was doing and was curious had I met any new women and she kept telling me about stuff shes been doing. She wanted to keep me in her life and share things with me. But I didnt know what I know now. I didnt know what those signals meant.. to me then, they meant she doesnt want to be with anymore and she just wants to be friends. And I couldnt be just friends. Had I know then, that sticking by her side pretending to be a friend and not turning every conversation into "us", would make her want to get back to me.. of course I wouldve done it. I was too in a hurry to make her be officialy my girlfriend again. Cause I was so insecure and immature that I couldnt just wait for her to "grow" back into me if u know what I mean. I was affraid that shed find a rebound. I even asked her a few times if shed met someone and she got so pissed with me!

 

Damn. I totally messed up. Did so many mistakes. I had her once, then lost her, then I had her again if I just wouldve been patient, but I wasnt. So I did after a good 1,5 months of pressuring her make her tell me "all my feelings are the oppostie now and I dont want anything anymore. No calls, no texts, ur crazy". Then she blocked me everywhere. Facebook, whatsapp, phone, everywhere. Thats when I got seriously depressed and went into desperation mode and started apologozing and whining about how I was sorry and didnt know any better. Didnt know how to break up like an adult cause this was my first real relationship in almost 10 years. Even sent her a hand written letter where I explained everything.. i got a new job and a new number from the company and I sent her even a couple of messages from my new number into her whatsapp and saw that she didnt block my number anymore. I went NC then for 8 days and sent one more message and she still didnt block me. She did back a few months ago when she got angry and told me those things how all the feelings are gone etc. But now she didnt. Probably cause she just dont care anymore and shes just like "fu*k him.. let him text me. He'll stop eventually". Well now I have.. 11 days NC.

 

Well.. I kinda answered my own question here. Reading what I wrote, the happy new year message wont change anything.

[deathandtaxes]

Shefo - DO NOT TEXT ON NYE. Simple as that. Move on. Let her go. Get busy. Hang out with friends. Whatever. It didn't work. We've all been there. Be the adult and move on with your life and leave the lady alone.

[Shefo]

OP the best way to get your ex back is to move on. Go NC for a good long while. So long that you wonder why you ever liked them in the first place. So long that you pretty much forget about them and maybe even have another gf in there. If after that you still think this ex is worth the hassle try her back.

 

 

It's worked before.

 

Yeah, my problem is that even I was a bad boyfriend she sticked with me till the end. Even tho I dumped her, she STILL wanted to be with me. She just needed to heal the wounds first. So at the end of the day, she really is mad at me because I pressured her. Not because I was a terrible boyfriend. That part I managed to fix by apologizing. I feel like shes testing me. Wanting to see how far Ill go. Cause she thinks that Im this huge player with many women in cycle. Thats why she doesnt believe im sincere with my words. I wanna prove her wrong. Thats why I wanna send her a nice decent and short message on new years.. just showing her that I still care. I want to, but ya'll making me feel its a huge mistake.

[Haydn]

Semaphore your ex back is equally as good. stand outside her or his house at 1 am with red and flags and gesture away! He or she wont come running back but you may land some planes safely. (Sorry)

[Shefo]

No. You've damaged this thing enough, you have to leave her alone. What happened to earlier in the thread, extolling the virtues of NC?

 

You have to maintain it. She refused the offer to get back together, don't ask again. It's done.

 

Im still happy sticking to NC. Wouldnt break it for anything. I just dont concider a holiday wish as breaking NC. Well technically it is breaking it, but its not a contact about feelings, emotions or "us". I feel like I owe it to her. Im ramming in guilt here. For all the sh*it ive done. I dont want her to think that ive forgot her. I want her to know that ive moved on but that shes still in my thoughts. Cause when I dissappear like this, she thinks that Ive moved on and am over her. Maybe I dont want her to think that. Cause i know where i stand now. I have moved on, seen other girls and slept with a couple. But those has all been just for reminding my self that i still got it. So I wouldnt mind her thinking that i still have strong feelings for her. Cause i do, even tho ive burried all hope of reconciliation.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Shefo

[Haydn]

Hard but fair, this girl is good! (I mean you Stringchick ) Not me, i am not gender compromised.

 

 

All attempts at communication are breaking NC. No exceptions.

[reddragon588]

Michael Fiore has made his money by preying on vulnerable individuals coming off an emotionally tramautic experience. He should be ashamed of himself.

[somedude81]

Even the text your ex back system says to go NC for at least a month or so and to work on yourself, then not try to text them back until you are sure you want them for the right reasons, aren't emotional and needy, and can be objective.

 

Then it tells you basically to show that you are not hostile to them, that you have a nice life now, and to open the door to allow them to come back if they want.

 

It is about sending one or two text and seeing if you get a reply if not give up send a couple more. if not give up and move on.

 

 

In a way... it's the give your ex breadcrumbs until they decide to come back system.

 

I would say it's a waste of time, but then we have a forum dedicated to second chances. So it must work sometimes.

I must admit that I'm curious. I just read a little about it now.

 

You're right that it says to wait a month. I think I'll try it out later.

[Mrlonelyone]

I must admit that I'm curious. I just read a little about it now.

 

You're right that it says to wait a month. I think I'll try it out later.

 

 

You seem to have handled it well, venting here to us instead of to her. Do that more. The more you seem to have moved on without her the more she'll want you.

 

 

The point of the text your ex back text is just to open the door a crack so they feel they can come back. I think most dumpers think the dumpee will be so hostile they could never come back.

[innocentbutterfly]

Thanks mate. I feel good also. I feel good about my self again, but I still miss her. Look.. I need a big hard punch in my face right now.. so tell me: "Dont do it. Its a bad idea!"

 

Because..

 

Although I went thru the horrible phaze of begging and pleading, convincing and apologizing.. going no ego, going big ego.. tryed it all and at the end she cut me off completely and told me i was crazy and blocked me everywhere.

 

STILL, i know that she thinks that I did all that cause of my ego. Not purly out of love. And stopping the texting just like that.. boom, once and for all and going NC, only makes her be even more convinced, that I did it out of ego. She thinks that I went crazy only cause I couldnt handle being rejected.

 

So.. I want to send her a message on NYE. Just to say "happy new year". Nothing else. Ive been sending all the time these long messages where I talk about my feelings and blaa blaa blaa.. I think a simple message like that, would be polite and adult and it shows that Im doing all good. Now that Ive gone NC, i know that she thinks that Im over her and that Im already with a new girl. She`s probably telling her friends right now: "He stopped bombing me. Now he knows that he wasnt really in love with me. He just flipped out and couldnt handle being rejected. An egoist mofo"

 

So.. she would be surprized to get a Happy nye message. Im not expecting her to answer me. Cause she hasnt for like 1,5 months now. She did answer my messages in the beginning, but then told me, that she cant answer me, cause then Id just keep on bombing her even more. I know.. i was possessed. Even told her once that Ill soon seek some professional help cause Im obsessed with her. Anyways, I wont feel bad if she doesnt answer me cause I know she probably wont. And if she does, I wont text her again either. Id feel good if she answers.. cause then I know for sure, that she doesnt really think that im this lunatic mad man and that she said that I was crazy only cause she was angry at the time. A very very bad idea or go for it?

 

Sorry for the offtopic! And sorry for the long message. And definitely sorry for the bad english.. Im european.

 

This bolded part. Like I'm reading a story with my LDR. I posted a topic here too. He also called me insane and blocked me saying that I'll never accept it's finished, but it was. Then I was stupid like you, only you want to send a text out of already hundreds sent. I did that same thing with him for a week, over 20sms, missed calls all to be ignored. Then I still didn't give up. I sent him a birthday gift (it was almost a month since breakup with NC) you here want to send her a text saying HNY, similar, mine was stupider. However, I did get response from him (after me contacting and him just unblocking and lying he did skype me saying thank you) and also found out stuff that he did 2 weeks after break up (she may already moved on and did something too already that you wont like) that I shouldn't for my own good, ended up shocked and disappointed even more, but I got my closure in a way. So I'd say do what you think it's right, but don't expect anything. Even I didn't. But let me remind you, if you end up diasappointed with a reply or not, you will fall back on day 10 at least. Like I did, every memory back, all the strength I built living without him, blocking him from my mind made me miserable again for 3 new days, couldnt eat, sleep, again dreams of him, nightmare! So be careful what ur wishing for.

 

Saying "happy new year" would just show her that I still care. Im trying to be a good guy here. Thats why it matters to me what she thinks. Id get inner peace if she would answer. And if she doesnt, at least she still knows that I care. Lets put it this way.. what harm would it do? I mean.. I do want her back. But Ive let go of all the hope. Ive 100 % accepted the situation.

 

No you didnt, trust me. When you want to be kind and still reach out you so arent over the hope, not even close. That's what I thought sending the gift and I found myself feeling down when I didnt get response from him, when I had to contact him and ask him for it. So no matter how much you think you can accept it now, you're only making yourself delusional. She doesnt care. She blocked you for a reason. She ended that part of her life with you in her mind.

My ex told me that point blank when I learned what he did in that month of NC. I said how could you. He said simple, I didn't see you as my lover anymore. I saw it as we had something and it finished. That's how they think. They move on. If they reply it's only to make them not look totally bad. Like almost out of pity. Don't torture yourself more now that you got some steps ahead in your healing. Your text won't change much, because she doesnt care anymore. Grasp it and don't waste your energy.

Edited December 24, 2013 by innocentbutterfly