karen2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 My boyfriend went out drinking yesterday. We had some disagreement two days ago. He first texted me at night if I was having a bad week back then, which I told him I did before. So I just simply replied "yes". He then texted me "I hope your week gets better. feel better kid, please be happy" I was happy at that moment because I have been a bit upset since I felt like he didn't care about me that much, which kinda lead to the disagreement in the first place, and I was still hurting from what the harsh things he said during the disagreement. But then 2 min later, he texted me "I am drunk! surprise!" I got upset immediately because I felt like he only said that because he's drunk and he hasnt contacted me the whole day (make me feel like now he only found me because he's drunk). He never really says affectionate things anymore when he's sober. And then procceed to a lot more drunk text which I chose to just say "wow. 8pm and you are drunk" and ignored most of the rest. He then said how I was doing a good job ignoring his text, getting revenge, how he's not that drunk but drunk enough to harass me and judge my response. Later that night, I texted him saying I thought he really meant it when he told me to by happy but turned out he was just drunk. He then said "drama queen, I am not that drunk" I told him I wasn't trying to pick a fight or getting revenge as you said. He was like "relax kid" Did I really overreact?
Philosoraptor Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I think a better question to ask yourself is if you're so unfulfilled from the relationship why are you still with him to begin with? So you're feeling hurt from him, he isn't affectionate, and you're obviously unhappy with his alcohol use? Again, why are you with him? 1
Iguanna Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I think a better question to ask yourself is if you're so unfulfilled from the relationship why are you still with him to begin with? So you're feeling hurt from him, he isn't affectionate, and you're obviously unhappy with his alcohol use? Again, why are you with him? All these stories that describe one event, mostly something bad about someone's SO, are meant to be only this: one small percentage of the whole story. She describes only one incident out of their whole relationship. She says bitter stuff cause she is hurt. But if you ask her a week later, after she's made out with her SO, she will just say "oh this? I was obviously in a bad mood to say these things, the truth is this man is great"... until the next time they have a fight. My personal experience has taught me never to say bad things about someone's SO when they have fought cause it will come back to bite me when they make out. Even when they say bad things for their SO, I will never agree again and pay more attention and spend more energy than needed. 1
Philosoraptor Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 All these stories that describe one event, mostly something bad about someone's SO, are meant to be only this: one small percentage of the whole story. She describes only one incident out of their whole relationship. She says bitter stuff cause she is hurt. But if you ask her a week later, after she's made out with her SO, she will just say "oh this? I was obviously in a bad mood to say these things, the truth is this man is great"... until the next time they have a fight. My personal experience has taught me never to say bad things about someone's SO when they have fought cause it will come back to bite me when they make out. Even when they say bad things for their SO, I will never agree again and pay more attention and spend more energy than needed. Very true. Which is why I tend to ask questions more than give advice. Paraphrase what was given and return it back to them in a consolidated question. The only way to help someone figure out what is best for them is to help them reach that point themselves by guiding them, not telling them. "Why are you with them?". Either gets a response with a valid list of reasons why the positives outweigh the negatives... or a "I don't know" which tells all that you need to know about the situation.
Iguanna Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Very true. Which is why I tend to ask questions more than give advice. Paraphrase what was given and return it back to them in a consolidated question. The only way to help someone figure out what is best for them is to help them reach that point themselves by guiding them, not telling them. "Why are you with them?". Either gets a response with a valid list of reasons why the positives outweigh the negatives... or a "I don't know" which tells all that you need to know about the situation. I wasn't talking about your reply, I agree with you anyway. I was just thinking out loud (typing out loud ) about thoughts I have in other topics too.
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