Garuda Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Hi, I'd like to thank in advance everyone for helping a stranger out with such personal matters. I'm italian, but I don't think women are that different from where you guys are, so I'll give this a go. I'm writing this because, as of today, I have run out of patience. Sorry if I made it so long and boring, anyway this is me... 20 years old, 175cm tall and I weigh 55kg. Not Brad Pitt, but I'm sure not to be an ugly guy. I look at least 2 years younger (which at this age isn't good), this also because I have little to no beard. Because of my hyper fast metabolism I am VERY skinny, but still with an athletic and muscular body, not chubby and not that man boobs genre. I'm just not very "big". I have no problem talking to girls, I'm initially very confident, I always make them laugh even when I'm not trying, autonomous, pretty crazy when appropriate, I don't smell bad, clean teeth, never did drugs, blabla, bla, in short (in all seriousness, not to be vain) I see myself as a good looking and behaving guy, yet my relationship with girls goes NOWHERE. ALWAYS. Every girl I'm interested in is just like "haha! yeah. ok well bye". I'm like wtf, I made her laugh, I behaved as a crazy fun but mature guy, I gave some signals (very few honestly) and then BAM. Just "yeah! ok bye". What am I doing wrong? After this evening I completely lost all hope. Here's the story: My best friend has a fiancee who has a single sister. The sister was my perfect type, cute, nice body, and short, so I started way confident. We all went out this evening and my friends friend came along too. He's a good guy, but he's just dumb. Constantly smoking weed, has this permanent high look on his face, not particularly attractive, ginger (just describing him, not offending), skinny, never says anything clever, not a flirter, quite funny, just a bland dude to my eyes. He also puked all evening because he was drunk. It's just the way he is, I'm fine with it because he is overall a nice guy. But guess what!? He got the sister! Obviously! Awesome right? She was pretty much always next to him talking to him all evening, giving a thousand signs every second that she was into him, so at a certain point I'm like: "ok guys, I'm going home, have fun". The sister was always with weed boy, my best friend had his girlfriend and I was just starting to feel like the third wheel of the group. I'm happy for weed boy, and as of now I'll never hit on the sister again because I'm not the guy to try and "steal" a girl. What is bothering me right now is why did I fail, and why is he making out with that girl in this moment while I'm here going nuts. He knew her from a bit longer but I don't think that's the case, I've seen the sister for two evenings in total, I know it's not much but still; I fail to understand what he did to have such an easy catch. All he had to do was stay with her and keep talking. Now this is just an example, but for the past 3 years I have failed to find a girl interested in me; for one reason or the other, girls just walked home with a "cool! ok well bye" while I did the same, kicking trash cans and punching road signs (in my mind). Before I was 17 I got some of the hottest girls in my school no problem, they were so obvious, while now I'd like to go to my past self and punch young me in the face. Yeah that would be awesome. This is my problem: I start mega confident like "f**k yeah this girl is totally mine", and then I slowly become mega depressed because the girl isn't giving me any signs of interest, so I give up. What's the point anyway I tell myself. I'm not a guy that shows he's hitting on a girl though, initially I really love to seem like I'm not interested (or sort of neutral) and wait for her to show me the smallest tiniest little bit of interest (like asking me a personal question or staying next to me), and then I'm off like a train and go all out if necessary. Problem is I've gotten no signs in 3 years... Thank you, and please help me.
FrankieFrank Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 . I'm not a guy that shows he's hitting on a girl though, initially I really love to seem like I'm not interested (or sort of neutral) and wait for her to show me the smallest tiniest little bit of interest (like asking me a personal question or staying next to me), and then I'm off like a train and go all out if necessary. Problem is I've gotten no signs in 3 years... Wwhat you're doing isn't working, so how about changing it? As in flirt regardless of if you have signs?
Iguanna Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Personally if I like a guy and he has this attitude with me (what? no, I don't care about you, unless you make the first move, then I'll consider giving you a second look), even if he likes me and even if I have the hots for him, I'm like "bye bye arrogant guy". Women want to feel wanted, admired, flirted. If you act like their brother, why should they pay attention to you? You are Italian for God's sake! I mean, put on the flirt engine a bit. Give her a compliment, a hint that she is the one, that you are interested. If you just sit there and wait for a small hint from a girl to make your move, you will probably wait forever.
ponchsox Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 You have to make yourself more interesting. Work out, take up a new hobby, and start building confidence. You don't have to be a Himalayan mountain climber to attract a woman. You just can't be someone who doesn't have anything going on.
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