Snowmelt Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 My boyfriend caught me talking to other boys, but I never did anything with them and he doesn't believe me. I had a long term of lying to him and I really want to show him that I ONLY want him. I don't know how to make it up to him other than a heart-felt letter of my feelings. Any suggestions?
small lady Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Well were you flirting with them or was it just innocent talking? Even so, I'd be pretty pissed off if my boyfriend started initiating conversations with a string of girls he doesn't even know even if he had the most innocent of intentions (on the surface). Why did you feel the need to talk to these boys? Are you lacking something with your boyfriend?
Author Snowmelt Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 No it was never my intent to talk to them at all BUt yeah they wanted to do things with me but i never did I just had urges but never acted upon them. It's just the distance, because im pretty pissed off at the fact that I'm not able to meet up with him over this rbeak
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 You did nothing wrong by talking to someone else. Unless you flirted heavily with them. You mentioned that you have lied to your bf before, right? It might be difficult, but you can only tell him the truth(which you did), and hope he comes to terms with this. If possible, layoff of talking to other boys. See, this is not a problem in and of itself. You should be allowed to talk to whomever. As long as nothing overtly is said. The problem here is past lies catching up to where you are at now. Did he ever forgive you for past period of lying? If so, he should not be hanging this over your head. You can write a letter(a handwritten letter is very personal, and powerful), but, doubt it would change much. Only he can decide whether to accept and believe that you did nothing wrong or not. How old are you two, if you don't mind?
small lady Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 No it was never my intent to talk to them at all BUt yeah they wanted to do things with me but i never did I just had urges but never acted upon them. It's just the distance, because im pretty pissed off at the fact that I'm not able to meet up with him over this rbeak If there was no flirting involved then it just sounds like he's insecure, which can be understood given the distance, but if you know for a fact you're innocent then there's only so much you can do to make him believe you before you just have to leave it for him to decide! I agree with Toddbt12y1 about the letter, it's a very thoughtful and moving gesture but like I said, it's all down to him now! 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 We're around 20s I see. Well, I believe you. You seem sincere. Have you two ever met in person? Have you two any plans of meeting anytime soon? It is important to have some form of a goal in mind, when having an LDR. A potential to meet. A potential to perhaps have a location change, if things are serious enough. That aside, you can only tell him. Jealousey is easy to spur on, in a LDR. You can only calm him down by telling him what you already have. You can't make em believe you.
Author Snowmelt Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 We met once in last summer and it was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. Hell I even cried so many times out of joy, though I prefer not to cry at all, I just well up a lot for any reason good or bad with him. He moved from the other side of the US just to get closer
justwhoiam Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 My boyfriend caught me talking to other boys I'd say you're s---wed. I had a long term of lying to him and I really want to show him that I ONLY want him. Do you know the tale of Peter and the wolf? Lie after lie, no one is going to listen to you anymore, even when you at last have the best intentions. I don't know how to make it up to him other than a heart-felt letter of my feelings. Any suggestions? Well, I guess your only chance is sounding credible telling the truth. There's no way to predict his reaction. He can either forgive you or dump you for good. they wanted to do things with me but i never did That doesn't sound reassuring, rather a matter of time and persistance. I just had urges but never acted upon them.I guess your boyfriend got everything right about you. You have urges and they must be met somehow, I don't think they are going to go away on their own...... It's just the distance, because im pretty pissed off at the fact that I'm not able to meet up with him over this rbeak Is it some kind of revenge? I don't see good intentions nor feelings here anywhere. 4
OnlyHonesty Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 If there was no flirting involved then it just sounds like he's insecure, which can be understood given the distance, but if you know for a fact you're innocent then there's only so much you can do to make him believe you before you just have to leave it for him to decide! I agree with Toddbt12y1 about the letter, it's a very thoughtful and moving gesture but like I said, it's all down to him now! It's all down to him now? He's insecure? The OP said she has a history of lying, she has been talking to guys that wanted her to 'do stuff', she has urges and 'he's not there'. 1
small lady Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 As far as I can tell, she hasn't told her boyfriend about these urges so that is where my insecurity comment came from. He has no reason to see anything more into these messages if she did not reply to them flirtatiously. Obviously she is in the wrong for having a history of lying and now having the desire to do things with these guys, but my intention wasn't to shift the blame onto the boyfriend entirely. Insecurity happens in LDR to most couples.
jimloveslips Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I don't know how to make it up to him... I'm pretty sure you do... 1
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