Little_Discourage Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 My boyfriend went to his mother's for Christmas and will be staying there for the next couple of weeks. We have made plans to see each other a few times during his visit with his mom, but nothing set-in-stone. We got into a fight the day he was leaving over something he had said that hurt my feelings and it really hasn't been resolved. I guess basically when it comes to him being upset (no matter what the issue), I will do whatever it takes to get him to talk to me about it and work it out with him. When I am upset, however, he seems to think it's an inconvenience or an annoyance. If he says something that hurts my feelings, if I try to talk to him about it he immediately goes into, "I'm not arguing with you" mode and walks away. I do not like conflict and I am not into arguing. I don't like to fight and I don't pick them. But even trying to just explain something to him as simple as why my feelings were hurt makes him angry and he feels like he's being attacked. After he left yesterday we talked off and on and he mostly ignored the issue. The issue has now gone from him originally saying something that kind of hurt my feelings to me now being really hurt that he didn't care and doesn't want to make me feel better. Maybe I'm just needy, but I feel like he's being self-absorbed and emotionally selfish. All I wanted was a little reassurance and for him to comfort me, even just an apology for hurting my feelings. But the fact that he shrugged it all off and acted as if my feelings don't matter has really hurt me in a bad way. He called me later in the evening to ask if I found a couple of his things and would put them up for him while he's away. He was very short and almost "cold" with me. He said he loves me and I told him goodnight. That was it. I haven't spoken to him today. I am resisting the urge to call/text him because I don't feel like I should be the one to break down and make first contact because he was being an insensitive jerk. I feel like he not only owes me an apology for hurting my feelings, but he owes me an apology for not caring that I was hurt. Am I doing the right thing or should I swallow my pride and just contact him? I don't want him to think it's okay to shrug off my problems all the time. :/
TylerDurdenn Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 He's an idiot that won't appreciate what he's got until it's gone. Don't contact him if he can't be bothered with you.
Author Little_Discourage Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 He's an idiot that won't appreciate what he's got until it's gone. Don't contact him if he can't be bothered with you. It sucks. I want him to want to talk to me too. It hurts knowing that he's probably fine and may not even be thinking about me. But, that's probably just the control-freak woman part of me speaking. I want him to miss me as much as I miss him, kind of deal. What I'm not sure how to handle is if/when he contacts me, he'll more than likely want to ignore yesterday entirely and act as if it never happened.
oldshirt Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Seeing from your latest thread that you are married with children, do you think that may be part of his hesitation to become fully involved with you? Any chance this is just a player getting some "amazing" sex from a dissatisfied wife and not some guy looking for a legitimate relationship? Any chance he is just going back to his regular daily routine now that the thrill of some new poon has wore off? 1
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