2013 hasn't really been my year. Same for anyone else out there?

[Teknoe]

I'll be honest. I mean, at this point, I'm learning to be more and more honest. I'm 30 and a half years old. My life has not turned out the way I thought it would. And the scariest thing of all is, I think in some way I've made my peace about it. Not given up per se, but definitely lacking a lot of fight and conviction these days.

 

In a nutshell, I confessed to my female friend that I liked her this past summer. That whole thing went up sh*t creek and now we don't even talk. Before that, she and I were connecting as friends with common interests. We met in 2012 at a job fair and both got a full time career job at 28 years old in the summer of 2012. Life was looking up.

 

Then the confession happened, my friendship with her has ended quietly (she just... stopped talking to me, and I've now long since bothered to contact her). I think that experience in some way broke my spirit. I became very cynical after that, which includes:

 

1. Letting my eHarmony subscription expire. I was on it for 6 months and had no meet-ups. Heck, only one girl that I exchanged more than one email with, and that went nowhere. It was so frustrating.

 

2. Stopped checking my FB. I got over 600 "friends" but not many I can count on one hand that I'd care to hang out with on any given night. The status updates were starting to irritate me. Since I am 30, most of my friends are in that age range, and now it's all about engagements, weddings, having kids. The days have long passed since people in my circle have talked about getting a girlfriend or boyfriend. They have now been in a relationship for a couple to several years, all the while I've been single. So I feel left behind more and more. I used to post updates on FB regularly, even as late as summer 2013. But after that confession bomb thing, I just kind of gave up and got cynical. Now, I rather have my privacy. I haven't checked FB in months now, and am thinking of freezing or cancelling it. Something I never considered before.

 

On a related note, I think I'm hitting some sort of 30s depression, or perhaps lull is a better word. Like, I'm happy being by myself, I'm good. I got my sports, I got my Netflix, I got my games. I don't like seeing posts about family vacation trips, weddings, etc. I'm not at that stage of my life yet, so I feel very different from my peers. I guess I finally faced this truth in the cold light of day recently. I've become very homebody-ish. I feel like when you're in your mid 20s it's OK to be single and still finding your way around. Now I'm 30 and it just feels like I'm behind everyone else, and suddenly I'm not so quick to post about my life on FB anymore.

 

I remember making an independent movie back in 2006 and being all excited. I was gosh 22, 23 then. I made some plays over the next following years and would always post about that, inviting friends to check it out. I even posted blogs and vlogs.

 

Now, I just want my privacy. I realize I live a "boring" life to many, but to me I find it pleasurable. Last night for example, I spent it alone watching Walking Dead (my first time through). I had no guilt about being alone on a Saturday night or staying inside. I think I used to feel guilty. Now I've accepted and embraced it. I like this lifestyle, what can I say.

 

Well there are others but I've rambled on long enough now. I'll just leave it here. Just had to vent this out there. I've changed so much since that confession bombed. I went from somewhat extroverted to introverted, and now I'm like "who cares" more cynical than I ever been. I do have walls up, and I know at some point I gotta bring them down. But for now, I have them up, and that's just the way it is. I don't even have crushes anymore. Why bother? Haven't had a GF since December 2004 now.

[mtnbiker3000]

Look man, you took a risk with this girl and it didn't work. So what? Now you're just not feelin the dating scene for a bit. No problem. Just do what works for you and when the time is right, things will present themselves.

 

I get what you're saying about the age and stage you're at. I'm 42 and have very few friends who aren't married or without kids. I know it can seem like you're the odd man out. But you have to live your own life. I learned through therapy that you just simple cannot compare yourself to anyone else about anything. You will always come up short. You are you and that's all you've got. Make the best of it and screw the rest!!!

[JDPT]

After enduring substantial amount of excruciating pain at first, 2013 is starting to look alright. I'm simply looking forward to putting it all behind me and continue to enjoy MY life.

[Mariposa10]

You're not the only one. It has been the toughest year in my life and it just keeps getting tougher...

 

I made a thread similar to yours:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/450057-2013-too-painful

 

We just have to hang in there, buddy! Everything is constantly changing. We'll be fine...

[lil hoodlum]

Yep! You are not alone. I can't wait until New Year's Eve. 2013 can kiss my @ss!

 

Hang in there! Things will get better one day, at least that is what I keep telling myself.

[somedude81]

As sh*ty as I'm feeling now, 2013 has been the best year of my life. I had happiness for six months.

 

I'm determined to make next year even better.

 

As for women. There are several truths that I now understand and accept. Two of them can apply to you.

 

1. Going after a friend almost never works. Just don't waste your time.

 

2. You need to be bold and take risks to get anywhere with women. Of course you won't get anywhere if you don't try.

[Mario79]

I feel like 2013 was more of a year were things just crashed down on me. A domino effect. Kinda poetic that it ends with 13 if you are superstitious. I am beginning to be very superstitious.

[Els]

2013 was pretty good for me, but I've had my share of bad years. One of those, about 10 years ago, was particularly brutal in all aspects. I picked myself up and brushed myself off, though, as I am sure you will.

 

Good luck in 2014!

[LumberJack]

Wow - no! 2013's been quite awesome.

 

2012 - that one was a rollercoaster. 13? Keeps going higher and higher.

 

It might be hard to believe this, but historically, great achievement usually comes past the age of forty, if not fifty. Lincoln, Carnegie, Mohammed (the prophet), and countless other truly great men were nobodies in the first 4 decades of their lives.

 

It's way too soon to say that your life has not turned out the way you thought. It's not done turning out. Not even close! You've had some setbacks, but that shouldn't make you give up ("make peace" with a situation you're not really at peace with). It should help you learn from your past-mistakes, make some adjustments to your plan, and keep hammering away 'till you strike gold.

 

I strongly suggest you read "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill (the original 1937 edition). It's public domain and there's a PDF floating around on the web somewhere. Changed my life.

[Phoebe]

2013 has sucked!

 

1. I started off 2013 getting a text message from my ex-husband (separated 4yrs ago) that made me realize that he would make a better father than my then boyfriend, which was ironic considering that was a big reason that I left the ex-husband.

 

2. My then boyfriend had promised to try really hard to quit drinking to give us one more chance and I moved closer to his work. I found out very quickly his best efforts had the lifespan of about 2 weeks and then he stopped even pretending to try, but by that time I had stupidly signed a 1 year lease with him.

 

3. After a stressful 10 months of being trapped in a lease with an alcoholic he finally has the "talk" with me, he starts dating someone at his work, loses his job, and then skips off to another state and leaves me to deal with how to pay the rest of the rent and bills on my own. The only way to do so was to cash in the only financial safety net I had left.

 

4. I actually start seeing someone from work, seems to be a really nice guy, seem to have a lot in common, etc. Then he says a couple of things that reminds me of my ex and I over react and slam up my walls. I try to explain what happened and told him I realized that this wasn't fair on him because my reaction was based more on my ex's past actions then his present actions. He wants some time to think about it now. So I have some awesome new emotional baggage.

 

2013 has left me emotionally and financially drained. But you know what I claim 2014 as MY year!

[Delilah1623]

2013... 2012... 2011... I could have done without all of them. But 2014 has to be better!.... right?

[pink_sugar]

OH YEAH! One of the worst years yet. My husband's mom and grandfather died. Our cat just died and I just got laid off of my job. On top of that we've been struggling with financial issues all year as well. Earlier this year we had an old boss who threatened to sue us for taking her to the labor board. I was dreading that meeting for over a month.

[Elias33]

2013 sucked bad. May have to get sh*tfaced on New Years Eve. And I rarely drink. Up to better times!

[lostsoul4286]

I want 2013 to be over, on top of making a mistake that cost me my first love, I also had to walk away from a work related project that I poured my heart into.

 

 

But enough about me, Your THIRTY YEARS OLD, THAT'S NOTHING! Try instead of being depressed, to take a moment to self reflect and improve on skill sets and form a 5 year plan to achieve a goal you've always wanted to attain. People getting married, having kids, that's great and all, but don't look at it as a "why not me" view, but rather as an acceptance of decisions your colleagues have made and that's it.

 

 

You're only as old as you feel, keep the mind active and you'll be forever young.

[dichotomy]

2013 was not the best.

 

- Another year of marriage counseling and 2 grand spent. Not done yet.

- My libido suddenly went away a month ago.

- Had an emotional break with my brother over money

- My job is ending the year very very badly, so much stress, being slammed by aholes, trying hard not to quit each day...or get fired.

- Paying college tuition for oldest is straining us, credit card charged up

- Had first heart issue - spent two days in hostpital for unknown AFIB event shortly after surgery.. see below.

- and then cancer came back again. after many many years, but I caught it early at least this time and escaped with surgery but still loss.

 

2014 is hopefully going to be good, it starts with two interviews with two companies who contacted me - coincidentally - as the nasty stress at work started.

Edited December 26, 2013 by dichotomy

[reddragon588]

2013 was a terrible year for me! But it was a year full of growth and maturity and I will be better for it in 2014 as a result.

[WirelessBrain]

Now, I just want my privacy. I realize I live a "boring" life to many, but to me I find it pleasurable. Last night for example, I spent it alone watching Walking Dead (my first time through). I had no guilt about being alone on a Saturday night or staying inside. I think I used to feel guilty. Now I've accepted and embraced it. I like this lifestyle, what can I say.

 

I feel like I am reading my own thoughts on paper here. Your entire post is exactly my emotional state. I feel as though I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and feel a little older than my years too.

 

I have become a little recluse; I don't mean talking to the walls and becoming a savage but I am the same. I have my Netflix, my games and my fridge. Life could be a lot worse.

 

I just feel as though i'm in a bit of a rut, I had so much get-up and go and a desire to achieve more but I feel this slipping each day. I wouldn't say I was depressed as this word is thrown around so commonly but as you say a lull.

 

Also, good choice on Walking Dead, i've just gotten into it myself and burnt through all 4 series in days. I really have too much time on my hands...

[Double D]

2013 has pretty much sucked for me too.

 

Determined to get myself out of this 4 year rut, I start long term therapy in the new year and I have found the book that has and will save my life its called 'The Road Less Travelled'.

 

Not expecting 2014 to be all perfect but feel more positive about a new year for the first time in a while.

 

Life is indeed difficult.

[eotdevice]

42 got the divorce finalized but over $70,000 in debt. Moved in with my folks, then my Dad dies in Sept. My kids hate living with their mom and want to live with me but no room to do it or money for the legal fees. I will be filing bankruptcy in early 2014. So hopefully I can start over.

 

But the few bright spots...I know my kids love me dearly as I do them. I live every day for them. I am at the home to help my mom thru this transition of losing her partner of 62 years. I met a woman that understands my situation and still likes me with all the negatives facing me. Also got a promotion at work.

 

So 2014 will be better!

[somedude81]

God I can't wait for this month to be over.

 

Funny how the best year of my life was ended with the worst month of my life.

 

I guess God just wanted to make sure I wasn't happy going into 2014.

[Eclypse]

The first half of this year was quite craptastic as I had severe difficulties finding a job, and had to undergo a very painful wisdom tooth surgery.

 

But the second half was the best of my life. I went on a trip to Europe, I got a ridiculously high paying job that I love, I got a sexy sports car. I was able to end my relationship which was going nowhere and start dating an amazing girl with who I am currently mating with like rabbits If I could freeze time to be like the way it is now forever, that would be amazing. There is literally not a cloud in the sky for me in the forseeable future!

 

Sorry... I hope you'll allow an upbeat post in this thread. It sucks there's so many people on this thread who had a bad year

[Sam23]

I agree, this year has been tough. My reputation was ruined and I lost all my friends/acquaintances in college after my ex-sociopath-friend told everyone in school I was stalking him. Few of our mutual friends will talk to me, which I depressing cause I don't have many friends. I graduated (yay), but I can't find a job. I failed my state boards exam. The following day my grandma passed away, which was also the same day I found out the man I was still in love with is getting married. Then a week later, my "first love" found out his gf is pregnant. Me? Well, I'm single and alone.

 

But... I didn't quit on my goals and I didn't pick up any unhealthy habits/addictions this year despite my depression, which is a plus I guess lol. Things will get better. Each day is a new day. Just keep pushing forward.

[RightThere]

Worst year on record. However I also have never learned so much in a 1 year period as I did this past year.

 

Looking forward to 2014 to become a new person and build on all the learning I've done.

[H245]

- 2013 started off being broken up with over text message

- Met a new girl a few months later

- 2 breakups in 6 months time (one right after my 30th birthday)

- On 3rd try and she seems completely distant and emotionless from me because she has a lot going on mentally.

 

I just want this year to end and hopefully be placed on a better path in 2014

[Biscous]

2013 has been a great year for my career and I've networked with so many people.

 

Socially, not so much, and for 2014 I want to push my comfort zone a bit more.

 

Also it didn't help that I was still talking to my ex who broke up with me June of last year up until August this year. I needed to get her out my system but it took over a year to be clean of her and sometimes I still feel anger.

 

Oh well onto 2014!