ponchsox Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 people go through life, make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them as feedback and learnings rather than interpret them as failures. You'd hope, but I have dated women who felt bitter and jaded because of their past and could never love again. They just needed someone to fill a void when they wanted sex or felt like hanging out.
Author nerdlingZA Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Sorry OP but, if you use poor grammar, your words do not make sense and you may not be taken seriously. If English is not your first language then I apologize and you may want to declare it so readers will be aware . I get the gist of what you are saying here but your conclusion seems like nonsense..... What I hear: You are trying to ignore/block someone who you believe is chasing you. Then you give advice to men about being "kind of a jerk" so that women will chase them??? WTF?!?!?! I feel like somebody owes me time back for the last 5 minutes of my life..... Irrelevant
Author nerdlingZA Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 I agree with this to an extent. When I was going around with my latest ex there was another young woman throwing herself at me. I would pay her extra attention whenever my ex would ignore me. It drove the ex up the wall. At the same time I knew if I ever paid my main attention to that other woman she'd loose interest. Women so love jerks that someone as non-traditional as I can attract their attention based on how I act.. Yes , when u give little attention they become interested more & more but as soon as u start giving em full attention/loving em they walk away
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Yes , when u give little attention they become interested more & more but as soon as u start giving em full attention/loving em they walk away That is true of immature young women. They may say they want real commitment. Deep down they just want a good time for a while. Even if they like you back they don't want someone to be that in love with them. When you get older and provided the woman likes you back you won't be able to get rid of them.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 people go through life, make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them as feedback and learnings rather than interpret them as failures. What guys who are what the scientific literature calls "dads" want is to not have to carry the baggage of a woman who's had the spirit ****ed out of her by "cads". In other words your bad judgment means you don't get to have a good man latter. This. When I did not like myself and I was insecure, I attracted nothing but jerks. As soon as I raised my self esteem and paid attention to red flags, I stopped meeting and dating horrible men. I am proud of myself for walking away from men who lied about pertinent information, seemed selfish and said cruel things. It took years to build up that confidence, but once I did there was no stopping me. My husband had some commitment issues when we were dating. He jerked me around until I finally told him to take a hike. My then boyfriend had to work very hard to win me back after his selfish and immature nonsense. Once he saw that I could easily move on, my husband became very contrite. Now this sounds like a really good match. You liked the bad boys so you found a reformed bad boy. (Plus you got back together after a break up. Something we are told on LS is impossible.) What I take issue with are women who want to have fun with the bad boys when young then want a 40 year old virgin to raise their kids. That is as bad as in the old days when men would cavort with loose women then want a virgin wife.
soccerrprp Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Isn't there a threat about PROVEN--Men love bytches? Ah, a world where men love bytches and women love jerks... It all makes sense to me now. Is anyone else like me? I have only met ladies looking for good, kind, interesting, confident men. Not jerks. OP, you're in some kind of dating twilight zone. Generally, girls don't want jerks, they want confident, interesting men. Keep searching and you'll find the nice girl who wants the nice guy.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Isn't there a threat about PROVEN--Men love bytches? Ah, a world where men love bytches and women love jerks... It all makes sense to me now. Is anyone else like me? I have only met ladies looking for good, kind, interesting, confident men. Not jerks. OP, you're in some kind of dating twilight zone. Generally, girls don't want jerks, they want confident, interesting men. Keep searching and you'll find the nice girl who wants the nice guy. We all agree with that. The thing is that young women and emotionally immature women do not know the difference between a d-bag and a really confident interesting man.
soccerrprp Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 We all agree with that. The thing is that young women and emotionally immature women do not know the difference between a d-bag and a really confident interesting man. Well, you've hit the nail on the head. YOUNG and EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE. What can you do about that? Try to keep clear of such women. It is quite obvious that YOUNG women who are emotionally MATURE exist, so focus on them. As guys, especially younger, this may be a little more difficult, but you can't change this, so make the best of it.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Well, you've hit the nail on the head. YOUNG and EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE. What can you do about that? Try to keep clear of such women. It is quite obvious that YOUNG women who are emotionally MATURE exist, so focus on them. As guys, especially younger, this may be a little more difficult, but you can't change this, so make the best of it. True. I just think that the young men reading this board need to see that it isn't them. They also don't need to hear that they should just bide their time until the women are done being used up by jerks.
soccerrprp Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 True. I just think that the young men reading this board need to see that it isn't them. Well, it isn't JUST them. They also don't need to hear that they should just bide their time until the women are done being used up by jerks. Who suggests this? I sometimes wonder what these guys are like. The ones who complain that girls like jerks. In my entire life, I have never heard or witnessed any girl or women actively seeking out a jerk to date. I would like to think that that's a testament to how fortunate I've been and the type of people I've been around, but are these guys so great? Eh, anyway, not much you can do, but wait for the girl (which there are plenty of) who is interested in being in a relationship with a nice® guy.
FrankieFrank Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 NOW this girl is NO loser , she gets hundreds of likes on facebook LOL. :laugh::lmao: Measure of whether you're loser or not in 2013: amount of likes you get on facebook
FrankieFrank Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 They also don't need to hear that they should just bide their time until the women are done being used up by jerks. Why should they do that anyway? Waste of time. And what do you get in return? Someone jaded and bitter that will probably take you for granted and treat you not up to par? Thanks but no thanks. I'd rather have someone actually like me, not settle for me, because they had their fun run and "should get something stable I guess" despite probably still craving for excitement. Sounds better to get exciting yourself and have a solid run already.
hotpotato Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 lol@ judging this woman's value by the amount of Facebook likes she gets. If you tell a woman clearly that there is zero chance of any future, only the messed up ones will continue to pursue you. Same for both sexes really. The problem, more than likely, lies in the ambiguity of the break up. Some people don't make it clear, because they probably enjoy the ego boost of someone chasing them, even after an apparent rejection. Using other people's emotions to boost your self-esteem, is pretty low. Exactly. She is confused by the sudden change and the ambiguity. Spot on. Hate to point this out, but OP said from the beginning he was using the girl to make him feel better.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Well, it isn't JUST them. Who suggests this? I sometimes wonder what these guys are like. The ones who complain that girls like jerks. In my entire life, I have never heard or witnessed any girl or women actively seeking out a jerk to date. I would like to think that that's a testament to how fortunate I've been and the type of people I've been around, but are these guys so great? Eh, anyway, not much you can do, but wait for the girl (which there are plenty of) who is interested in being in a relationship with a nice® guy. The women on here who write of self esteem and making mistakes and wanting/finding a good guy now that they are older. If I were a truly nice guy (never ever claim to have been one of those) I'd be Po'ed if some female told me that they think I should be ok with sloppy seconds.
fortyninethousand322 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Dating and relationships are games. Either you play, or you get played. Learn this, and don't take things too seriously. People will say they don't like people who play games. But you know what? They never get over those who played games with them. You want to be someone they'll never forget, learn to play the game... 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 People will say they don't like people who play games. But you know what? They never get over those who played games with them. You want to be someone they'll never forget, learn to play the game... THIS is something that is signature line worthy.
jba10582 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 (edited) Right, many people can become bitter, jaded, or weary of past experiences,maybe they were damaged from tightly clinging onto a past love, failed trust, maybe from too many rejections, and, have never truly learned to let go and love, or love again, and the void they fill can come from many different things. It's not uncommon to see this in everyday life. Many marriages/LTR also continue to be love/hate relationships. Flip a coin tosee which side it's on that day. Know anyone who is in a miserable marriage or those who have constant power struggles? Probably so, and, these same couples, many years down the road, who had envisioned a perfect partner, did not foresee how their SO/spouse turned out from the start, because, as time went on, things grew stronger, or faded and decayed,and, sometimes it ended badly, and, for some too emotionally damaged, their persistence on their outlook never broke free, never let go, never reached that paradigm shift, to find who they are or what they thought they truly wanted. Edited December 23, 2013 by jba10582
stillafool Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Though I don't see how a nice dude can get that annoyed with it. Either she likes him or she doesn't and he moves on. If she feels like dealing with an ******* that's her problem. I don't know why a guy who isn't interested in a girl who is chasing him is seen as an *******. If the girl continues to chase someone who isn't responding how is he to blame?
Woggle Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Want what you can't have syndrome is a powerful thing for either sex. 1
Onethirtyeight Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I don't know why a guy who isn't interested in a girl who is chasing him is seen as an *******. If the girl continues to chase someone who isn't responding how is he to blame? He's not, that would be the female counterpart to the point I was making. Its like what I said in another thread: The overweight women who complain about not finding a "real" man are equivalent to the guys who consistently get "friendzoned". They're both entitled, hostile, and have a bad attitude. No one likes that, and then they're not attractive enough to get someone who just wants them for sex, so they have no one. Its their own fault they fall into relationships where they're chasing someone, don't see the signs, and then get rejected.
Woggle Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 People who chase after unavailable people go after them subconsciously. Make this person available and they will run. It is not about real feelings but a deep need for validation. They can't take the thought somebody is rejecting them so they twist themselves into knots trying to make the person want them. 1
Sand Man Dan Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Unstable women love jerks. Normal women love normal guys. The hard part is in finding one. Quoted for truth
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I'd agree with you pretty much on this, but maybe not necessarily the last item. I worked with a number of intelligent professional career women who were still attracted and got involved in affairs or flings to such men. They were shrewd enough not to stick around if the guy didn't change or become LTR material like they wanted. I have to admit the guys I saw them with were not full on jerks, but had the some of the elements and they were successful and also arrogant & full of themselves. I hung out for a while with a couple of very good looking guys who used to test out women by changing their persona for the hell of it. The arrogant jerk persona did quite well with young women. Many women walked and you could sense they thought these guys were wankers, but plenty did not. Some were shallow girls who thought they were shyte hot but some were also sweet nice girl next door types who were impressed/charmed with the act. The majority of the girls who were having rough sex with them a few hours later were university students or educated young career women. If they had self esteem issues it was not easy to tell and certainly was irrelevant for the guys as they had no intention of getting involved in a LTR with these women. While self esteem issues play out in many cases for the women who are impressed with jerks, the majority of the girls who I used to see get involved with jerks or get on their knees for them, were for the most part attractive/cute. They had plenty of options. I realize that does not mean they don't have self esteem issues (as a few cute girls who chased jerks and who admitted to me years later it was for validation they were hot by bagging these outgoing popular guys), but from the less assertive nice guys perspective that's irrelevant for them as much as it is for the jerks. All they see is lots of cute girls with tons of options (not unattractive girls with limited options) jumping into first night sex with jerks and drawing the conclusion that 'women love jerks' That's the whole point we are making. Young men don't care about the womans mentality, her self esteem, her self worth, her issues they just want to have fun, hang out for a time, and have sex for a time, with cute young women. You know who they cute young women do that with? Jerks. Because they don't know better, low self esteem and all that. Doesn't matter if you are a man who's having to play with it while jerks get fellatio that's what matters.
johan Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 (edited) People will say they don't like people who play games. But you know what? They never get over those who played games with them. You want to be someone they'll never forget, learn to play the game... This is true. In much the same way I remember the dog that bit me when I was a child. Painful events make clearer memories. There isn't a single difficult game-playing woman who jerked me around who I have ever forgotten. But I'm happy to have that misery out of my life. There is a difference between being remembered as the one who got away and being remembered as the one who should have gone away sooner. Edited December 23, 2013 by johan 1
Sand Man Dan Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Well, it isn't JUST them. Who suggests this? I sometimes wonder what these guys are like. The ones who complain that girls like jerks. In my entire life, I have never heard or witnessed any girl or women actively seeking out a jerk to date. I would like to think that that's a testament to how fortunate I've been and the type of people I've been around, but are these guys so great? Eh, anyway, not much you can do, but wait for the girl (which there are plenty of) who is interested in being in a relationship with a nice® guy. The connotation is not that young women actively seek out an outward jerk or someone who is an ass from the start, but rather are willing to put up with maltreatment from someone they have an emotional attachment to.
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