datingnoob93 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Hi I'm a 20 year old university student with limited dating experience (1 GF in high school). I've been on 3 dates over the last two weeks with a girl who goes to the same school. First date she was really formal and reserved, I got only a handshake. She flaked on me big time afterward but I persisted and got a second date a couple of days ago, it went pretty well and we ended with a hug. Third date was last night and finally we kissed albeit briefly. Since things are escalating I definitely need to think about getting intimate with her soon, possibly after the next date or at the latest the 5th one. The problem is that we both still live with our parents and at any given time at least 2 other people are in my house. I have 2 pre-teen siblings and my mom stays at home. Meanwhile the girl lives with her extended family and says she shares a room with her sister. So the question I have is how and where am I supposed to get some quality alone time with her ??? How do I approach this topic with her ? I don't want to sound too blatant by asking her specifically when she is totally alone it might freak her out. I want to have the opportunity to cuddle with her and make out and hopefully things will escalate from there. Any suggestions on doing this in a subtle manner ? Thanks.
Eivuwan Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 She doesn't seem the type to be interested in having sex anytime soon.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 (edited) She doesn't seem the type to be interested in having sex anytime soon. This. You're not going to go from a hug and a light kiss to boning in any quick order. I'd worry about that when the time comes. Also I would think that seeing you're the members in your families would be alright with you guys cuddling or whatever when watching a move. And that's the point you may start wanting to figure out where you're going to have some action. EDIT: Also you're house is probably better than her's, but I don't know the dynamic of your family. In mine my parents wouldn't care if I brought a GF with me over Christmas or something and we did what couples do. Edited December 22, 2013 by Onethirtyeight
FitChick Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Do it in the car like your grandparents did. Do it in the buggy parked in the barn like your great grandparents did.
Author datingnoob93 Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 She doesn't seem the type to be interested in having sex anytime soon. You're not going to go from a hug and a light kiss to boning in any quick order. I thought that ppl were supposed to have sex by the third date ??? I feel behind the curve already, I don't want to keep taking her out over and over again and not get anywhere. Especially since she is always working and school will start again soon and we won't be able to see each other nearly as often when that happens. She gets hit on often and I don't want some dude with his own apartment to get to her first behind my back.
MidwestUSA Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I thought that ppl were supposed to have sex by the third date ??? I feel behind the curve already, I don't want to keep taking her out over and over again and not get anywhere. Oh, puhleez! Don't buy into this schedule. If she wants to be with you, she'll wait for the circumstances to be right. If she's the type who needs to be shagged by the third date by any guy with an apartment, well, do you really want her? So, do you have a car?
regine_phalange Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Go somewhere for the weekend, but maybe not yet. Its too soon.
CrystalCastles Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I thought that ppl were supposed to have sex by the third date ??? I feel behind the curve already, I don't want to keep taking her out over and over again and not get anywhere. Especially since she is always working and school will start again soon and we won't be able to see each other nearly as often when that happens. She gets hit on often and I don't want some dude with his own apartment to get to her first behind my back. Ugh no. This is complete rubbish. Have sex when the time is right for you and your lady. If you push for sex, she'll get turned off and run away. She probably flaked on the second date because the prospect of a relationship and intimacy and such were overwhelming thoughts for her. I've done it for that reason, and same things with friends of mine. This girl sounds inexperienced, but that is not a bad thing. It just means you're going to need to be patient and understanding and go at the pace which is comfortable for her. If that doesn't suit you, find someone else. Intimacy can be a new, but overwhelming thing for a first-timer so I think she would like it if you could be understanding of that and respect her. She also probably needs some time to get used to you. Take her out on dates, walks in the park, etc. That will make her feel comfortable and I personally find that I'm a lot more willing to try new things when I'm at ease and when I know I won't be pushed.
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