LadyM Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I think we should not initiate the xmas/new year greeting. But I do think it is fine to respond to them if they wish us an xmas/new year greeting. I agree with Barky that courteous is the way to go. Sometimes it is even more uncomfortable NOT to respond to such a benign greeting. If they should continue with conversation, I believe there is no need for any further reply from us. That sends the exact message you want. 1
Author chris21422 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Doing that still doesn't make sense and pretty pointless as in the end its the same result you ignored them.. You can be courteous when you are healed.. You can be courteous when you don't want them anymore.. But not in the time of healing.. I think we should not initiate the xmas/new year greeting. But I do think it is fine to respond to them if they wish us an xmas/new year greeting. I agree with Barky that courteous is the way to go. Sometimes it is even more uncomfortable NOT to respond to such a benign greeting. If they should continue with conversation, I believe there is no need for any further reply from us. That sends the exact message you want.
LadyM Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Doing that still doesn't make sense and pretty pointless as in the end its the same result you ignored them.. You can be courteous when you are healed.. You can be courteous when you don't want them anymore.. But not in the time of healing.. I do understand what you're saying. And of course you know what works best for you. For me, when my ex had wished me a new year greeting, I was completely shaken up just hearing from him. It didn't even matter much whether or not I responded because by that point, I was already set back by reading that simple text from him. He had tried to contact me several times during the course of many months and this was the only time I responded.
Shaine Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 My rule for christmas is Dont initiate. Dont reply. If i am really REALLY tempted to reply, i will do so after 3 hours with just a simple 'meri xmas too' But really, i dont think i will reply. He dumped me. If he wants to get back together he will do more than just send me a text. 1
LadyM Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 My rule for christmas is Dont initiate. Dont reply. If i am really REALLY tempted to reply, i will do so after 3 hours with just a simple 'meri xmas too' But really, i dont think i will reply. He dumped me. If he wants to get back together he will do more than just send me a text. I waited five hours to reply!!
LadyM Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 The sad truth is, we are way over-thinking this issue. They don't really care whether or not we reply. They are thinking about us for about ten seconds when they shoot off that text. Ten seconds is all. And we're ruminating about something that takes up almost none of their time or interest. 3
Author chris21422 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Exactly what I was saying.. If they really want to contact you they will do it not just during the holiday.. The sad truth is, we are way over-thinking this issue. They don't really care whether or not we reply. They are thinking about us for about ten seconds when they shoot off that text. Ten seconds is all. And we're ruminating about something that takes up almost none of their time or interest. 2
Mr me to Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 If your anything like me after contact your day is going to be ruined and you'll spend rest of day waiting for a text that never comes. I know because I have just failed Nc once again.. 1
Author chris21422 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 You greeted your ex and got no response? If your anything like me after contact your day is going to be ruined and you'll spend rest of day waiting for a text that never comes. I know because I have just failed Nc once again..
Mr me to Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 (edited) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/448699-sabotaged-my-self-deep-deep-pain Not that simple but what I do know is any contact leads to me loosing another part of my soul... Edited December 23, 2013 by Mr me to
Haydn Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 You can not afford to lose this now. Those kids are going to need their Dad! You have far too much to lose by wanting this woman back. You must press ahead with your life now and the kids will see what a strong and caring Dad they have. You can do this. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/448699-sabotaged-my-self-deep-deep-pain Not that simple but what I do know is any contact leads to me loosing another part of my soul... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/448699-sabotaged-my-self-deep-deep-pain Not that simple but what I do know is any contact leads to me loosing another part of my soul...
vassilbg Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I'm not initiating, but I will be responding if they text. I have a handful of exes that usually send me greetings for the holidays. Why am I responding? Because I'm not bitter anymore. I don't want to get back together with them, and they're just being friendly so I'm returning the favor. Remember that YOU control the conversation when they text you. Its up to you on how to handle it. If you don't want to respond, don't. If you do, do it. 2
David87 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 The sad truth is, we are way over-thinking this issue. They don't really care whether or not we reply. They are thinking about us for about ten seconds when they shoot off that text. Ten seconds is all. And we're ruminating about something that takes up almost none of their time or interest. Or maybe we won't even get a text. I will actually be shocked If i get one 1
Author chris21422 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Listen to this man. it's the perfect example of what the thread is. I'm not initiating, but I will be responding if they text. I have a handful of exes that usually send me greetings for the holidays. Why am I responding? Because I'm not bitter anymore. I don't want to get back together with them, and they're just being friendly so I'm returning the favor. Remember that YOU control the conversation when they text you. Its up to you on how to handle it. If you don't want to respond, don't. If you do, do it.
Mr me to Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 You can not afford to lose this now. Those kids are going to need their Dad! You have far too much to lose by wanting this woman back. You must press ahead with your life now and the kids will see what a strong and caring Dad they have. You can do this. Thank you bro that might be the kick up the ass I needed... Really need to get my **** together
Softie Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Thing is about this being courteous.......are our dumper exs being courteous by choosing a special day??? a day when I'm sure unless they've been hiding under a rock since birth, will know that you will either be having a good time or trying to have a good time. So my point, wtf pick that day to make contact, that is being discourteous in my opinion and very very very selfish. 1
LadyM Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Thing is about this being courteous.......are our dumper exs being courteous by choosing a special day??? a day when I'm sure unless they've been hiding under a rock since birth, will know that you will either be having a good time or trying to have a good time. So my point, wtf pick that day to make contact, that is being discourteous in my opinion and very very very selfish. Because them sending a holiday text is all about them - not about us. Any contact from them, at anytime, is selfish, indeed.
deponie12 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Thank GOD I have blocked his number, I don't have to see a text!! The End! 1
Softie Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Thank GOD I have blocked his number, I don't have to see a text!! The End! Well done you. I'm too bloody, what's the word, curious to do that! Plus a little ignoring revenge if I get one, until I'm fully over it, wouldn't be a bad thing for my self esteem. :rolleyes: 1
Author chris21422 Posted December 24, 2013 Author Posted December 24, 2013 Hey guys be strong all later!! Happy holidays!!
Robbyrob Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Merry chistmas to all of you!!! Im curious about the posts in the next hours/days whether your ex or you have written something!!! If you are planning to write keep it short and simple 2014 is our year baaaaaaaam 2
deponie12 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 I'm working today ( Christmas Eve) and of course there was a voice mail left by him. I heard "Good morning...." and I quickly deleted once again. I do feel bad for him, why? Because is so messed up I wish he would get some help. 2
Author chris21422 Posted December 24, 2013 Author Posted December 24, 2013 Bumping this thread.. happy holidays! just do not be tempted guys!! 2
LostConfused123 Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 I guess I'm lucky that I don't have to worry how I would feel if contacted. He is blocked on everything! I mean, I suppose he could call from a different number but that would actually take 2 minutes of effort. . . ha ha! Yep! I'm home free!! Happy Holidays everyone!!! I wish everyone reading here and suffering with a broken heart, the best year ever in 2014!!! ((hugs!)) 3
Kevin_D Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 My ex texted me this: "This might be weird, but I wish you a merry christmas. Are you spending it with your family as usual?" I got furious. What the heck? If she wants me to wish me a merry christmas, fine, but there's really nothing friendly about this message. I said I was going to respond earlier in this thread, but I want to it. My idiot friends also keeps me updated on what she writes on her FB, which really helps me with my healing process. A couple of nights ago she wrote something like this: "And so it happened, that on an ordinary december night, <tagged herself> found herself kind of very much in love". A few weeks after ending a 6.5 year relationship. Really classy. Seriously, my own friends would lose all respect for me I had done something simular. This girl is supposed to 24 years old, but somehow she seemed more mature when she was 17. I'm beginning to believe in GIGS after all. The guys made fun of her during high-school, her mother was in total control and then she met me at the age of 17. I was her first everything. I was dumped out of the blue and it was rather obvious that there was another, more exciting, guy involved, even though she assured me that this wasn't the case. Anyway, I won't respond this time. I wanted to be mature, but her behavior is totally unacceptable. She's throwing breadcrumbs, asking me random questions, wants to meet up for coffee, writes on her Facebook how much in love she is... No, I'm not going to be a part of this anymore. I'm going to let her have her "fun". I'm pretty sure that she will come crawling back on day, but I'm already starting to lose respect for her. It's still hurting like crazy though. Anyway, merry chrimstas all LS:ers!
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