chris21422 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 It's only 2-3 days more before christmas day do not contact or reply to them! I repeat "Do Not Contact or Greet them" I don't care if it's a good or bad break up.. "Nothing good will came out of it".. Trust me guys. I know some people here will be tempted to respond or might even feel bad because you ignored them and you will just say "oh come on it's just a greeting".. Well that is all up to you guys. If you wanna delay your healing then do it. Remember they broke up with you.. You need to do the best for you to heal yourself. It's not being bitter or anything it's for yourself.. It's all about you now not them. There is more Christmas coming. you can greet them when you are healed probably next year but not when you are still emotional and still wanting a relationship with them. Guys be strong! Follow your head not your heart! Good Luck 18
JDPT Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I didn't even think about contacting her until I read this post. I feel good. 1
JohnnyLoverBoy Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Great post! God I will be tempted to reply but I will remember what you said. Follow your head not your heart.
Robbyrob Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 But dont you think it could also be a sign of strengths to just send a message, Merry christmas to you and your family and then not answering anymore?
Author chris21422 Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 Nah man! it's not a sign of strenght.. All you putting out there is just setback. Example Convo: You: Merry christmas Ex! Her: Merry christmas Robby You: How are you? Blah blah blah! Her: I'm good blah blah blah You: Ok take care nice talking to you Her: you too! take care nice talking to you too And where does that talk goes?? Did you get back together? Did she say she wants to get back together? Nothing but just set back for you. Ego boost from her cause She will think "Oh my ex still cares for me because he greeted me or respond" but like I said man. It's up to you.. You wanna delay everything then do greet or respond.. But dont you think it could also be a sign of strengths to just send a message, Merry christmas to you and your family and then not answering anymore? 5
Robbyrob Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 but you are right, its all about the own healing processing! im tempted to write her but just because i know i could handle it and not expect an answer! plus i cant get back with her anyways cause ill be moving away, so i tried to think realistic
barky2 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Man I thought I made a sticky for this same exact scenario now, a million times. Doesn't matter what you or anyone does if they say merry Christmas whatever. If they text you, a simple " merry Christmas to you too" is being courteous. So do whatever you feel, me... I was always courteous. If it sets you back, then don't respond. But if you choose to respond, take it for what it is.... A simple 2 second text from someone else saying merry Christmas. Holding resentment or anger is holding on, when you truly should have let go. Barky 2
Robbyrob Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Man I thought I made a sticky for this same exact scenario now, a million times. Doesn't matter what you or anyone does if they say merry Christmas whatever. If they text you, a simple " merry Christmas to you too" is being courteous. So do whatever you feel, me... I was always courteous. If it sets you back, then don't respond. But if you choose to respond, take it for what it is.... A simple 2 second text from someone else saying merry Christmas. Holding resentment or anger is holding on, when you truly should have let go. Barky i think you are right! at the end its just how each of us is dealing with the break-up!!! ive always been courteous and thought of keeping it short and simple. nothing more...but i guess if someone has hard a very hard time or an ugly break-up its not wise to contact. i was only thinking whether anyone of us, as we are in the same boat, hears from her/him first. the main thing is not to overinterpret it! but generally its better not to write anything or keeping it super short without lets post here again after the 24th/25th im curious
barky2 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 If it sets someone back, or make their head spin, I would encourage not for anyone to respond. But if hindsight is 20/20... And you truly see it for what it is, then no one should ever not be courteous. Just my 2 pennies. Barky
Robbyrob Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 If it sets someone back, or make their head spin, I would encourage not for anyone to respond. But if hindsight is 20/20... And you truly see it for what it is, then no one should ever not be courteous. Just my 2 pennies. Barky true story!!! hope everyone will be able to deal with it, even if it can be tough! just being yourself and confident! at the end a merry xmas and a happy new year should be enough
Author chris21422 Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 Well sometimes people tend to try to lie to themselves.. They say they can handle it but the truth is they can't and they are still longing for the past and hoping that the greeting on christmas will make the ex change their minds of wanting to get back together or thinking that that greeting will leave the door open for reconciliation but that never happens or it happens rarely. For me personally responding or greeting them is pointless till you aren't healed. 2
somedude81 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I'm curious if my ex would send me a Merry Christmas text. When Christmas comes around, she would have broken up with me exactly three weeks ago. I will not reach out to her on Christmas. If she does send me a Merry Christmas text, I'd send one right back to her and nothing else. BTW, if your ex who dumped you send you a text on Christmas, doesn't it mean that they at least thought of you? I'm not saying it means that he or she wants you back, but just that you were on their mind.
barky2 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Courteous is the word. Take it as that and nothing else, and you'll be just fine. Barky 1
ks0985 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 No response from me, i use the excuse of not receiving the text....ooo im such a trickster
Mr me to Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I ain't going to lie I've been obsessing about what I can do or say to get our family back together for Christmas. Just keep reminding myself, she not the same person anymore. They know how to contact us if we meant anything to them they would. So yeh **** a merry Christmas. I will ring to speak to kids but her she deserves nothing from me. She ****ed me off why am I going to be the bigger person? 1
Mr me to Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 To the guy who said at least they thinking of you. Yeh but they sucking someone else's dick !!! Ohhh I'm so bitter ! 1
Author chris21422 Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 Take it easy on yourself man. I think when they contact during holiday they are just doing it for themselves. To the guy who said at least they thinking of you. Yeh but they sucking someone else's dick !!! Ohhh I'm so bitter !
JDPT Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 To the guy who said at least they thinking of you. Yeh but they sucking someone else's dick !!! Ohhh I'm so bitter ! Ease up my friend, know that this bitterness and anger will subside. It will room for clarity and progress. However, it's all up to you to make this happen, no one but you. 1
legion113 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Here's my conversation Me: Merry Xmas Ex! Her: Ummm...yeah you too, you know we broke up 15 years ago right? Me: Whatev, hey did you get the xmas turd I sent you? Her: Excuse me?!! Me: I had corn that day.... Her: Damn you really are crazy you know that?! I never want to hear from you again! Don't contact me, don't text me, stay away from me!! Me: Mission accompli. 1
Kevin_D Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 “Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I need it the most.” I'm not surprised that so so many fail to get their exes back. It seems that there mostly are two kinds of dumpees: Type 1: They say "Don't ever call me again!", block them from all social media, torch all photos and try to forget that the other person exists. Type 2: They harass the dumper by sending tons of gifts, letters, e-mails, messages, desperately trying to change their mind. On this forum, you will get a lot of applause if you're Type 1. But what if you don't want to drop to their level? Of course, many times the dumpers are real jerks who you should learn to avoid. But sometimes, it's rather obvious that the relationship wasn't really broken and that both the dumper and the dumpee usually are rather nice people. It may be loss of attraction, GIGS, depression, fear of commitment... These problems aren't necessary permanent. They can be fixed. And sometimes time alone is enough to fix them. I can't see why it's so important to burn all bridges. I'm not a doormat. I'm not checking her Facebook. I've told all my friends to not tell me about her activities. I don't contact her. I'm not going to help her with her problems. But if she writes me something friendly, suchs as "Merry christmas!", I can't see why I shouldn't respond. I want to be the better person. I don't ignore people, not even the ones I dislike. Yes, she hurt me and this breakup is the worst thing I've ever been through. She said some really mean things, even though I managed to stay calm. But we've had thousands of great days together. Even if she'll never want me back, I simply can't hate someone who has done so much for me. This doesn't mean that I'm a doormat. 3
Author chris21422 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 Man you are not responding because you hate them or to show if you are nice or a doormat.. You are not responding because you dont want to set yourself back. As I said if you are healed and prepared to talk or greet your ex then do it. No one is stopping you but if not and still want her do not do it. Its pointless nothing good will came out of it. “Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I need it the most.” I'm not surprised that so so many fail to get their exes back. It seems that there mostly are two kinds of dumpees: Type 1: They say "Don't ever call me again!", block them from all social media, torch all photos and try to forget that the other person exists. Type 2: They harass the dumper by sending tons of gifts, letters, e-mails, messages, desperately trying to change their mind. On this forum, you will get a lot of applause if you're Type 1. But what if you don't want to drop to their level? Of course, many times the dumpers are real jerks who you should learn to avoid. But sometimes, it's rather obvious that the relationship wasn't really broken and that both the dumper and the dumpee usually are rather nice people. It may be loss of attraction, GIGS, depression, fear of commitment... These problems aren't necessary permanent. They can be fixed. And sometimes time alone is enough to fix them. I can't see why it's so important to burn all bridges. I'm not a doormat. I'm not checking her Facebook. I've told all my friends to not tell me about her activities. I don't contact her. I'm not going to help her with her problems. But if she writes me something friendly, suchs as "Merry christmas!", I can't see why I shouldn't respond. I want to be the better person. I don't ignore people, not even the ones I dislike. Yes, she hurt me and this breakup is the worst thing I've ever been through. She said some really mean things, even though I managed to stay calm. But we've had thousands of great days together. Even if she'll never want me back, I simply can't hate someone who has done so much for me. This doesn't mean that I'm a doormat.
Kevin_D Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Man you are not responding because you hate them or to show if you are nice or a doormat.. You are not responding because you dont want to set yourself back. As I said if you are healed and prepared to talk or greet your ex then do it. No one is stopping you but if not and still want her do not do it. Its pointless nothing good will came out of it. The thing that sets you back is hope and information. - Hope that she will come back = setback - Information about her new boyfriend = setback However, I can't see how a "Merry christmas" message could cause a setback. There is no question involved, so you shouldn't even be hoping for a response. And if they respond, it will most likely be something "Thanks! Merry christmas you too!"
Author chris21422 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 You do know that greeting will engage to a conversation right? and how if she say how you been and continue to talk your gonna reply or ignore it?? It's pretty pointless to me.. but it's up to you if that doesn't set you back and want to show that you still care about someone who dumped you then respond man.. Personally I can't be civil to someone unless I'm healed cause I still want this person. The thing that sets you back is hope and information. - Hope that she will come back = setback - Information about her new boyfriend = setback However, I can't see how a "Merry christmas" message could cause a setback. There is no question involved, so you shouldn't even be hoping for a response. And if they respond, it will most likely be something "Thanks! Merry christmas you too!"
legion113 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Let me put it in perspective for you I can't see why it's so important to burn all bridges(Umm because I don't give ****) I'm not checking her Facebook(Because I don't give a ****) I've told all my friends to not tell me about her activities(Because I don't give a ****) I don't contact her (Because I don't give a ****) I'm not going to help her with her problems(Because I don't give a ****) But if she writes me something friendly, suchs as "Merry christmas!", I can't see why I shouldn't respond. (Ummm, because I don't give ****?) Yep, indifference is the goal, and that's where I am.
Author chris21422 Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 If you don't give a **** why respond? Do whatever you wants cause no one gives a **** Let me put it in perspective for you I can't see why it's so important to burn all bridges(Umm because I don't give ****) I'm not checking her Facebook(Because I don't give a ****) I've told all my friends to not tell me about her activities(Because I don't give a ****) I don't contact her (Because I don't give a ****) I'm not going to help her with her problems(Because I don't give a ****) But if she writes me something friendly, suchs as "Merry christmas!", I can't see why I shouldn't respond. (Ummm, because I don't give ****?) Yep, indifference is the goal, and that's where I am.
Recommended Posts