bitter and angry ex...

[Poppyolive]

I posted recently about my failed relationship, recap 5 years, he dumped me.

 

Of course i was shocked, saddened and deeply hurt. But i could also tell he was hurting, so i gave him space. Last conversation in Sep/Oct was he was open to us, but needed to get healthy, that he loves and cares for me deeply. So i let him off, no contact from my part and did the best i could to heal and take care of me. Ive been receiving, what i call empty texts, random things he wants, asks...etc never anything about me. (not that i want that)

Eg. (him)Are my jeans there,

if i didn't reply right away...i would get more texts with just ???? or .........

(me) amm I'll have a look this eve

(him) apparently i have to wait

 

(him) post?

(me) Im not sure, you don't need to text me, your post will always be left in the mailbox

(him) So you'll never touch my post, good

 

and lots more...just like this...yes they are really stupid, but i feel anxious and slightly intimidated when i receive them and they're coming from an angry place....he's not someone who bothers with minor items...so constantly receiving these, i feel are to hurt, pick at me. So 2 weeks ago, I suggested he stop sending out demands, requests and just get all his stuff in one sweep (which i had suggested back in Sept) He said he felt angry, in which i told him there were his emotions and nothing to do with me. That i just wanted him off my back and quit demanding things.

It was fine for about a week, and i received another text,

(him) I found your sweater and would like to return it,

I didn't respond, because i didn't see it as a question and just assumed he'd leave it outside my apartment door, then whats app, facebook message and email went off, with the same statement.

 

So i responded with leave it outside the door, thanks. No more texts please.

(him) for sure whats this about no more texts?

I didn't reply, i then a few hours later get a facebook message "I know you said not to text, ill keep this short, will you be home, i don't want to leave it outside incase it grows legs or i can come tomorrow" I didn't reply, then he was knocking on the door....(at this point i felt anxious...and want it all to stop) i open it slightly, He seemed upbeat and had a nervous disposition " sorry, here you go, didn't want to leave it outside"...nervous giggle. me avoiding eye contact, i took it said thanks closed the door.

 

almost 2 weeks with nothing, feeling good, then i get a text last night "sorry to bug yah, Im cleaning up my skype accounts, i want you to move all your contacts out" #1 I already did that a month ago, #2 its not a big deal, doesn't interfere with his day/life, almost like its quickly find something to text her about. I didn't reply, but it makes me feel anxious, as i don't know if this will make him angry, or there'll be more texts.....Ive been breathing it out, not getting too worked up, and trust it will stop especially if i don't reply.

 

As i said its difficult to explain, as these are stupid, nothing texts, but i feel that they are backed with anger and bitterness. Has anyone had experience with this? He's not on my facebook, Ive blocked him on Viber and whats app, I cant change my number or email because of work, and i do not feel tempted to reply...whats so ever....but it does make me feel anxious, stressed, and i go through a few mins of anger...where I'm imagining sending back a F**k off or get lost message. Reading this over...it is boring...im bored ,but i wondered if i could get some encouragement, advise and something to help me understand where he is coming from. Understanding and being in his shoes is how i process things, thats how i processed the break up, his anger, his sadness etc... if i could understand why he's doing this, it would help me....

 

Thanks folks...HAPPY HOLIDAYS Love Shackers

[Haydn]

This sounds familiar. Again if you reply to anything he still thinks your hooked. If he is rude he is pushing it to see if you get angry. If you do then its emotional which probably means to him that you are still there if he needs you. Just ignore Poppy and he will get bored. Have a nice xmas.

 

 

 

I posted recently about my failed relationship, recap 5 years, he dumped me.

 

Of course i was shocked, saddened and deeply hurt. But i could also tell he was hurting, so i gave him space. Last conversation in Sep/Oct was he was open to us, but needed to get healthy, that he loves and cares for me deeply. So i let him off, no contact from my part and did the best i could to heal and take care of me. Ive been receiving, what i call empty texts, random things he wants, asks...etc never anything about me. (not that i want that)

Eg. (him)Are my jeans there,

if i didn't reply right away...i would get more texts with just ???? or .........

(me) amm I'll have a look this eve

(him) apparently i have to wait

 

(him) post?

(me) Im not sure, you don't need to text me, your post will always be left in the mailbox

(him) So you'll never touch my post, good

 

and lots more...just like this...yes they are really stupid, but i feel anxious and slightly intimidated when i receive them and they're coming from an angry place....he's not someone who bothers with minor items...so constantly receiving these, i feel are to hurt, pick at me. So 2 weeks ago, I suggested he stop sending out demands, requests and just get all his stuff in one sweep (which i had suggested back in Sept) He said he felt angry, in which i told him there were his emotions and nothing to do with me. That i just wanted him off my back and quit demanding things.

It was fine for about a week, and i received another text,

(him) I found your sweater and would like to return it,

I didn't respond, because i didn't see it as a question and just assumed he'd leave it outside my apartment door, then whats app, facebook message and email went off, with the same statement.

 

So i responded with leave it outside the door, thanks. No more texts please.

(him) for sure whats this about no more texts?

I didn't reply, i then a few hours later get a facebook message "I know you said not to text, ill keep this short, will you be home, i don't want to leave it outside incase it grows legs or i can come tomorrow" I didn't reply, then he was knocking on the door....(at this point i felt anxious...and want it all to stop) i open it slightly, He seemed upbeat and had a nervous disposition " sorry, here you go, didn't want to leave it outside"...nervous giggle. me avoiding eye contact, i took it said thanks closed the door.

 

almost 2 weeks with nothing, feeling good, then i get a text last night "sorry to bug yah, Im cleaning up my skype accounts, i want you to move all your contacts out" #1 I already did that a month ago, #2 its not a big deal, doesn't interfere with his day/life, almost like its quickly find something to text her about. I didn't reply, but it makes me feel anxious, as i don't know if this will make him angry, or there'll be more texts.....Ive been breathing it out, not getting too worked up, and trust it will stop especially if i don't reply.

 

As i said its difficult to explain, as these are stupid, nothing texts, but i feel that they are backed with anger and bitterness. Has anyone had experience with this? He's not on my facebook, Ive blocked him on Viber and whats app, I cant change my number or email because of work, and i do not feel tempted to reply...whats so ever....but it does make me feel anxious, stressed, and i go through a few mins of anger...where I'm imagining sending back a F**k off or get lost message. Reading this over...it is boring...im bored ,but i wondered if i could get some encouragement, advise and something to help me understand where he is coming from. Understanding and being in his shoes is how i process things, thats how i processed the break up, his anger, his sadness etc... if i could understand why he's doing this, it would help me....

 

Thanks folks...HAPPY HOLIDAYS Love Shackers

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

Sounds like someone is a bit annoyed that u are not contacting him ! x well done ! x

[Poppyolive]

Thanks guys!! Yay...feeling good!!

[deathandtaxes]

Dude sounds like a dick. Why do you even respond to anything at all from him? You should just block his number, go hard NC, and forget about any involvement. He seems very toxic. Seems like he just can't let go, and it does you no bit of good.

[Poppyolive]

Deathandtaxes

 

Thanks...dude is being a total dick. I responded to texts before I found this wee gem of a site. I responded hoping he would get all his things and stop bugging me and apart me thought if I responded to his angressive texts maturely it may slap him in the face to grow up....how foolish was I. So I came here..and was encouraged & inspired to go N/C. Which I'm doing. There's still been a few texts which I've ignored... But unfortunately I dont think I can block his texts...so I came here because when they come through I feel intimidated, anxious and worked up...I do have a feeling they will eventually stop...but until then its kinda scary...how much an ass he's being. You are right he is toxic and I need to not let that effect me.... But I'm kinda freaked that this will make him more angry (yes I know not my problem) but...but...it may be my problem if he shows up at my home. What do you feel He's unable to let go of??? Why do you think he's doing this? Or do you think he's so toxic and messed in the brain to have any reason, meaning behind it...it just is? Should I feel scared?