Ruby Slippers Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I don't have that heartbreak feeling. It's more of a disappointment feelings towards ME more than him. This has been the pervasive feeling I've had since my breakup 2 months ago. He never misled me about his feelings. I just loved him and was so wowed by him and our connection that I hoped he'd have feelings as deep for me eventually. I feel like I was blinded by love and overlooked things I shouldn't have out of foolish hope. But I learned a lot from those mistakes, that's for sure.
KatZee Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 And just for an added note: by professional help, I mean a 24/hour inpatient facility. BYCS you are not coping in the real world. You are not functioning like a normal person would. The fact that you come on here and say, "yes, I'm fine. I'm not hurt. Just disappointed..." you are severely downplaying your emotions and you're not being truthful, most importantly to yourself. You need to be somewhere where you have ZERO access to a computer, a phone, e-mail or destructive behavior like getting wasted, or relying on medication etc. You need to stop with the harping, the dwelling, the obsessing, the rehashing over and over and over and over. You need to be in weekly therapy with a supportive group who can help you. There are resources available to you, but you NEED to do the work. There's no other way. This forum is not work. This forum reinforces your need to talk about this guy, to continue making the same mistake over and over. The first step in this whole thing is to really admit, acknowledge, and own up to the fact that you have a huge problem. 1
devastated777 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Listening to Pandora at work and read the lyrics to "Nothing" by the Script. Made me think of this situation and a couple of mine. So when you read the lyrics , be glad you didn't actually go there like the song said. It could always be worse. We will get through this.
Shadowburn Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 And just for an added note: by professional help, I mean a 24/hour inpatient facility. BYCS you are not coping in the real world. You are not functioning like a normal person would. The fact that you come on here and say, "yes, I'm fine. I'm not hurt. Just disappointed..." you are severely downplaying your emotions and you're not being truthful, most importantly to yourself. You need to be somewhere where you have ZERO access to a computer, a phone, e-mail or destructive behavior like getting wasted, or relying on medication etc. You need to stop with the harping, the dwelling, the obsessing, the rehashing over and over and over and over. You need to be in weekly therapy with a supportive group who can help you. There are resources available to you, but you NEED to do the work. There's no other way. This forum is not work. This forum reinforces your need to talk about this guy, to continue making the same mistake over and over. The first step in this whole thing is to really admit, acknowledge, and own up to the fact that you have a huge problem. I have to respectfully disagree here. Not sure if you hold mental health degree or if you actually realize what kind of psychiatric diagnoses will get pts admitted to the inpatient facility but diagnosing people over the Internet forums and giving them advice like that is not helpful. 1
Shadowburn Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I broke No Contact. Ugh. I went out drinking, got myself in a messy situation, couldn't get a ride home, got my wallet stolen and I was too drunk to drive. I'm really upset my wallet and money is stolen. I tried calling my dad and a couple friends. No one was responding. I was panicked and freezing COLD. I sat there pondering whether I should text HIM or not. I called my mom and she lives far away and she said to text my ex so I can get home safe. I had no other place to turn to. Trust me, I did not want to contact him. But I didn't know what else to do. I sat there contemplating for awhile and thought "oh what the hell..." Decided to text him and said, "Hey, would you be able to give me a ride home, I'm drunk and alone on the streets" No response. I called. No response. Finally, I ended up getting a stranger to take me home. A STRANGER. I was scared, but ended up being okay. Scary, though. I texted him, "Sorry for calling. Got someone to give me a ride. Thx." I'm home now and I am completely remorseful that I had to text my ex only for him to ignore me. I'm okay actually, heartbreak wise. If anything, I'm more pissed off that I had to contact him. Like REALLY pissed off. I feel like I let myself down. I'm more upset that I contacted him than the fact that he didn't contact me back. I understand why he didn't respond and I respect that decision, but after 3 years I thought he would be there for me as a friend at least in a time of need. I understand the NC thing and have respected his privacy. I only reached out because no one else was there. But I feel like a let down. Like I messed up and ruined my NC. I hate that feeling. How do I recover? It may sound very harsh, but you have to treat this guy like he is DEAD. You wouldn't call/text someone who is dead no matter what happens to you. That's how NC works. And quit drinking. Last thing you want him is to listen to your pathetic voicemails that you got drunk somewhere, lost your wallet, begging to be rescued and think "ah good riddance, thanks god this crazy mess is not my problem anymore". Get yourself together woman! 1
KatZee Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 I have to respectfully disagree here. Not sure if you hold mental health degree or if you actually realize what kind of psychiatric diagnoses will get pts admitted to the inpatient facility but diagnosing people over the Internet forums and giving them advice like that is not helpful. Agree to disagree then. There comes a point when a person cannot function in the real world where they need to seek help. There comes a point where traditional therapy does not work, people giving helpful advice does not help. There comes a point when a person is using too much medication, and harming their lifestyle where intervention is necessary.
Kizmet Fisher Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 Agree to disagree then. There comes a point when a person cannot function in the real world where they need to seek help. There comes a point where traditional therapy does not work, people giving helpful advice does not help. There comes a point when a person is using too much medication, and harming their lifestyle where intervention is necessary. Except that the OP is functioning, and is taking good strides in getting through this. Except that the OP has yet to really try "traditional therapy" and until she does nobody here can say it didn't work. Except that the OP is using what has been prescribed to her, and does not seem to be abusing it. So far she seems to find it beneficial. This is not to say that BYCS won't have some stumbles along the way, but she is actually coming along quite nicely. Respectfully of course, I think its reading far too much into her moments of weakness and not enough into her moments of strength. I think padded Utopia can wait 3
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