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I broke NC

BlessYourCottonSocks

By BlessYourCottonSocks
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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BlessYourCottonSocks Established Member

BlessYourCottonSocks

Posted
Posted (edited)

I broke No Contact.

 

Ugh. I went out drinking, got myself in a messy situation, couldn't get a ride home, got my wallet stolen and I was too drunk to drive. I'm really upset my wallet and money is stolen. :(

 

I tried calling my dad and a couple friends. No one was responding. I was panicked and freezing COLD. I sat there pondering whether I should text HIM or not. I called my mom and she lives far away and she said to text my ex so I can get home safe.

 

I had no other place to turn to. Trust me, I did not want to contact him. But I didn't know what else to do. I sat there contemplating for awhile and thought "oh what the hell..."

 

Decided to text him and said, "Hey, would you be able to give me a ride home, I'm drunk and alone on the streets"

 

No response.

 

I called.

 

No response.

 

Finally, I ended up getting a stranger to take me home. A STRANGER. I was scared, but ended up being okay. Scary, though.

 

I texted him, "Sorry for calling. Got someone to give me a ride. Thx."

 

I'm home now and I am completely remorseful that I had to text my ex only for him to ignore me.

 

I'm okay actually, heartbreak wise. If anything, I'm more pissed off that I had to contact him. Like REALLY pissed off.

 

I feel like I let myself down. I'm more upset that I contacted him than the fact that he didn't contact me back.

 

I understand why he didn't respond and I respect that decision, but after 3 years I thought he would be there for me as a friend at least in a time of need. I understand the NC thing and have respected his privacy. I only reached out because no one else was there.

 

But I feel like a let down. Like I messed up and ruined my NC. I hate that feeling. How do I recover?

Edited by BlessYourCottonSocks
Blastbeat Member

Blastbeat

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I would bet he probably didn't think that you were desperate for rescue, he probably just thought you were trying to connect with him which would lead to him not responding.

 

At any rate, start no contact again. It will be fine. Someone else will come along soon :).

Sucks, I now the feeling. You will recover in a few days.

calgaryhearts Member

calgaryhearts

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Don't beat yourself up. I don't have the best advice but I've done similar things before. Just don't contact him again and if he texts you tomorrow ignore him. These things happen. Don't feel too bad. Easier said than done I know.

Mariposa10 Established Member

Mariposa10

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It's in the past now. There's nothing you can do about it. Maybe you should block him, he might contact you later...

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BlessYourCottonSocks Established Member

BlessYourCottonSocks

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How far away is your mum?

 

3 hours.

 

what was I thinking anyways, calling him? then he would have found out where I lived. I'm glad he didnt answer, and who knows maybe it could have turned out worse if he picked me up!!!

 

i'm home safe now. that's all that matters. except my wallet is gone.

 

life sucks sometimes.

Mariposa10 Established Member

Mariposa10

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It feels really bad to be reminded how unimportant you become to your ex.

 

Something like this happened to me once. I asked my ex a favor like this when we were broken up. I wasn't drunk, but I needed a ride badly. He gave me a ton of excuses and never did it. Ugh!! How can you not give a stupid ride to someone you were with for almost 5 yrs!!!!! :sick::sick:

 

 

3 hours.

 

what was I thinking anyways, calling him? then he would have found out where I lived. I'm glad he didnt answer, and who knows maybe it could have turned out worse if he picked me up!!!

 

i'm home safe now. that's all that matters. except my wallet is gone.

 

life sucks sometimes.

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LadyM Established Member

LadyM

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It feels really bad to be reminded how unimportant you become to your ex.

 

Something like this happened to me once. I asked my ex a favor like this when we were broken up. I wasn't drunk, but I needed a ride badly. He gave me a ton of excuses and never did it. Ugh!! How can you not give a stupid ride to someone you were with for almost 5 yrs!!!!! :sick::sick:

 

It makes you wonder if you ever really knew him.

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Mariposa10 Established Member

Mariposa10

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Well, he's like the most flakiest person ever, and deals with depression... and was under a lot of stress because of work...

 

It's not an excuse, but this is not a regular guy, he was/is dealing with many things. I was really really pissed off, I couldn't believe it and I guess I'll never forget it.

 

It makes you wonder if you ever really knew him.
loveiswar101 Established Member

loveiswar101

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Have to agree stay away from the alcohol. Also but I recommend also taking his number out phone.

 

I haven't had drink since all happened as can't trust myself, until few days ago with a friend, he told me a few thinks nothing bad just gave his opinion and just by having 3 beers I was wound up. But really I should of been more pleased as he's opinion open the whole scene up for me and made things little clearer.

 

Depression, grief and alcohol don't mix well !

  • Like 1
ks0985 Established Member

ks0985

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My ex doesn't deserve to know what I'm doing, which is why I ignore him and I don't deserve to know what he is doing which is why I don't even think about it or text him. We are strangers now. It's better that way.

 

 

This was you not too long ago.... NC i easier said then done. Not trying to give you a hard time just gotta try harder not to put yourself in situations like that. Pick yourself up and move forward hopefully that is enough closure for you to realize whats best for you moving forward.

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loveiswar101 Established Member

loveiswar101

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Not to have a go but I believe you wanted to contact him. On the 17th you quote STOP ME. It's only human that you miss him (I think 99% of miss our ex or we wouldn't be here).

 

I think the booze was just the match lighting the bomb so to speak and was inevitable you text at some point. With him not responding I think it will be easier for you to dust yourself down and get back on the NC.

 

Best wishes

  • Like 3
Robbyrob Member

Robbyrob

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Now nothing worse can happen anymore, think like that. 2014 is almost there :)

 

stay NC - enjoy xmas with your family - soon happiness will be back for all of us

  • Like 3
barky2 Established Member

barky2

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Honestly I've done worse, I've broken it for worse, and have had worse outcomes.

 

But use your 'pissedoffness' to get you right back in your nc cave.

 

Everything happens for a reason, maybe you needed to see that? Maybe you needed to experience that?

 

What most people don't realize, that if you were still in a relationship with him, he woulda been there in a heartbeat.

 

He's not the same person,you no longer know him.

 

Worst part is the wallet and money gone, him? Pffff, you got ammo now to move on and now out gracefully.

 

And believe me when I say, I've done worse :)

 

 

 

 

Barky

  • Like 2
KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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This kid barely cared about you when you were together. And there have been a ton of stunts pulled to reconnect you two and it almost always involves a situation of him having to come "rescue you" or "be there for you."

 

I'm pretty sure he thought your messages were nothing but a ploy to get him to see you, be with you, and then wind up having sex with you and then wind up "together" again just to make you happy.

 

This is how I see it.

  • Like 3
BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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Like Mariposa said, breaking NC will show you just how little your ex cares, and it's beyond hurtful. Most people will tell you to erase the number so the temptation isn't there anymore. Unfortunately, I still know my ex's number by heart. Look, this happens. I've broken NC for something far less and rationalized it only to get sorely hurt. Just get up, and keep going.

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JDPT Established Member

JDPT

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The ex is now the "STRANGER" we tend to forget that and subconsciously believe they will still be there for us, why? Because we have history, we slept together, we shared the most intimate secretes with them, well that's all out the door and they are labeled as an ex for a reason. Live and learn. I was once told, "I could be diagnosed with terminal cancer and there will still be no need to contact my ex." That's how serious it is.

  • Like 3
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BlessYourCottonSocks Established Member

BlessYourCottonSocks

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I know. Maybe deep down inside I wanted him to respond. I can admit that! But I really didn't want to text him and the only thing I feel awful about this morning is breaking NC.

 

The reason why I wanted to break NC a few days earlier and why I broke NC last night are TWO completely different things. I wanted to say sorry for moving out like a jerk and ignoring his messages when he asked where I was and if I was okay. When I broke NC last night, I really just needed a ride because I had no one else. Like another poster said, you would think after 3 years that person would be there for you...

 

Guess not. I'm not sorry for moving out anymore, I'm not even sorry for ignoring his texts/calls...this has just given me the fuel to go back to NC and ignore, ignore, ignore.

 

I woke up feeling fine. I don't have that heartbreak feeling. It's more of a disappointment feelings towards ME more than him. This was very important to me and messed it up.

 

But I thought about it, and its only important to me because I still care.

 

One second I get angry that he didn't respond and another second I can understand. Because if he would have responded, just imagine where it could have lead to or the feelings that would have been involved and he would know where I live...etc. I'm thankful he didn't respond.

 

Guys, I'm ready to block him. Maybe change my number instead because I know his friends have my number or he could call me from another number to reach me...Which one should I do?

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BlessYourCottonSocks Established Member

BlessYourCottonSocks

Posted
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Like Mariposa said, breaking NC will show you just how little your ex cares, and it's beyond hurtful. Most people will tell you to erase the number so the temptation isn't there anymore. Unfortunately, I still know my ex's number by heart. Look, this happens. I've broken NC for something far less and rationalized it only to get sorely hurt. Just get up, and keep going.

 

I wish I didn't know my ex's number by heart too..

ks0985 Established Member

ks0985

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Don't. Change your number because of a guy, unless he is stalking you then by all means do what you gotta do. By changing your number it kinda shows how hard it is for you to get over him. I dunno just my opinion I'm a really stubborn and prideful person tho Lol just my take.

  • Like 1
barky2 Established Member

barky2

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Of course you wanted him to respond, you did need a ride though :)

 

But kidding aside, you saved yourself a heartache today and for the next month.

 

Once again, yes they're not the same person.

 

You said you wanted to reach out a day or two before.

 

Subconsciously, after a few drinks, that same thought did re enter your mind.

 

Granted you were stranded, I understand.

 

What you did was fine, honestly.

 

You were screwed and asked for help.

 

He couldn't have cared less.

 

So care less what he's doing for the rest of his life and focus on getting you back.

 

 

 

 

Barky

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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Just block him. Super great move!! This is when the true healing begins imo. Cav

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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Block first. If he works his way around the block to contact and torment you, then change your number.

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I broke No Contact.

 

 

Decided to text him and said, "Hey, would you be able to give me a ride home, I'm drunk and alone on the streets".

 

 

 

I hope you realize the mental picture in his mind when he received this message. Not very attractive. You are giving him good reason to not regret the breakup. Please stop acting out and do the work. Gain back your self respect.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Block first. If he works his way around the block to contact and torment you, then change your number.

 

She's never going to do this.

  • Like 2
KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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I hope you realize the mental picture in his mind when he received this message. Not very attractive. You are giving him good reason to not regret the breakup. Please stop acting out and do the work. Gain back your self respect.

 

This is long gone. As in, years gone. Nothing she does now is going to make him think any worse of her because it's already rock bottom at this point. The only direction this can go is up. But it's up to her to do the work and actually stick to the NC and really move on with her life and heal her life. She has tons and tons and tons of work to do. No one here can help her, no amount of advice, coaching, helping, good positive words... I'm sure she hears it, but it really doesn't click in her brain, as much as she may want to believe she's OK and moving on, it's just not reality. This is a serious and in dire need of professional help situation.

  • Like 3
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