summer1994 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I'm just wanting opinions, really. My ex broke up with me a month ago and was absolutely devastated at the time, telling me how deeply he loved me etc but it just couldn't work. However, now he's going around openly telling people how he's completely over me and has absolutely no feelings for me whatsoever. So now I'm just wondering, did that mean he never actually loved me to begin with if he's now completely fine after one month? It really hurts...
KatZee Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I personally think that the only way a person can be 110% over you with ZERO emotion is because they either: - Never truly were IN love to begin with *or* - Started grieving and moving on from the relationship WHILE in the relationship. With one of my exes I never loved him. And after a long time together, I broke up with him and I was dating someone 2 weeks later. There were no emotional ties to that ex at all. (Sad, but true). 4
organizedchaos Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Or he's just trying to put up a good face in front of everyone but deep down is still hurting. Ego, pride, etc. 2
flitzanu Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I'm just wanting opinions, really. My ex broke up with me a month ago and was absolutely devastated at the time, telling me how deeply he loved me etc but it just couldn't work. However, now he's going around openly telling people how he's completely over me and has absolutely no feelings for me whatsoever. So now I'm just wondering, did that mean he never actually loved me to begin with if he's now completely fine after one month? It really hurts... the good thing for you now is, what he is doing has no relevance to your life. instead of worrying about him, you should start worrying about YOU. 1
ponchsox Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I'm just wanting opinions, really. My ex broke up with me a month ago and was absolutely devastated at the time, telling me how deeply he loved me etc but it just couldn't work. However, now he's going around openly telling people how he's completely over me and has absolutely no feelings for me whatsoever. So now I'm just wondering, did that mean he never actually loved me to begin with if he's now completely fine after one month? It really hurts... He's becoming indifferent which means he is moving on. You need to do the same. 1
Mariposa10 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I think if you go tell people this, I think it means the complete opposite. However, you shouldn't be worrying about this. Protect yourself, heal and be selfish. Now it's all about your healing. 2
Bishop556 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 If he truly means it, then he never loved you. I'm sorry to tell you this as I am experiencing a similar situation right now. I think you could have been dating someone who thinks he knows what "love" is. True love cannot be exterminated in a months time. It takes much longer than that. Real love will make you go miles for someone, and if it is lost as in the case of a breakup, the person will be an emotional wreck for weeks and months. At least this is how I felt after my breakup. I had to come to terms that I loved my ex more than she loved me.
legion113 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 If he was really over you he wouldn't have to be telling everybody about it, because frankly no one cares. Sounds like he's trying to convince everyone including himself. It's kind of like my ex who told me "I don't care about money". Now why the hell would that come up? Because she cares about money. She can't afford her house, she can't afford her car, she can't afford her daycare...
flitzanu Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 there seems to be a confusion about the topic here. everyone that got dumped saying how they were a wreck and that their ex dumper was saying things to convince themselves...that's not entirely accurate. the person that dumped you didn't wake up one day and decide to dump you, they'd already emotionally started detaching themselves from you and "pre-breaking up" with you. they don't act bothered by it because they've already dealt with it. the dumpee is the one blindsided, not the dumper. none of it means they didn't love you, it means that they NO LONGER want to BE in love with you. 2
Riou Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 The main point in the OP's situation is that her ex is telling everyone he's over her,in this case i would think he's not really over it.When people feel the need to prove something,they are putting on a show to convince themselves. 1
Shaine Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 If he said he's over you, he's over you. Dont give any other meaning to what he does or says to people. If he tells people he's over you, then believe that. I've been dumped and in 40 days NC after 3 days begging. I feel that i have moved on altho not 100%. I can say that i dont really wnt my ex back, i dont have feelings for him anymore and i dont think i will like him again. I tell people that because it's the truth. I am over him.
ponchsox Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I'm 3 months post breakup and I'm almost completely over it with the exception of an occasional nightmare.
reddragon588 Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 Is it possible? Sure! But if you are truly completely over it, you wouldn't need to go around telling everyone how over it you were. 1
flitzanu Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 The main point in the OP's situation is that her ex is telling everyone he's over her,in this case i would think he's not really over it.When people feel the need to prove something,they are putting on a show to convince themselves. so in this case, since he dumped her, and has chosen not to be with her, that means he's lying to himself and putting on a show? why not just pay attention to what is being said by the dumper, because it really doesn't matter if they are convincing themselves of anything since they are still broken up.
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