MissyM007 Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 She made it clear she fancied you and you worked nowhere near each other and were part time?
Mascara Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) Oh my GOD just ask him out already. Edited December 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 6
carhill Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Older men, if they're good men, tend to be more careful, especially regarding potential workplace relations. Most have a lot of life experience with such relations which they use for guidance. As an example, so far in my 54, every woman who has 'come on' to me or 'fancied' me in the workplace (in my case that would be clients or vendors) has turned out to be married or involved in some other committed way. Hence, I'm very reticent about such situations and tend to discount the 'fancy' of a woman in that way, unless it can be verified independently (generally via mutual social circles) that she's single. Adding to that, in this case, would be a marked age difference, at least eight years using your lower number and, at my age, 22 years, obviously an area of concern. So, hence, I doubt I would approach such a woman and, incidentally, I have been in this circumstance recently. I observed, time passed and her marital status was revealed. I was not surprised. Little surprises me anymore, least of all young women fancying older men. Perhaps you'll have better fortune.
stillafool Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 It really isn't that big a difference in age. Why wouldn't he???? I would imagine it would depend on what she looked like.
scorpiogirl Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Right, enough already. Ask him out. Get it over with so we can move on. 1
MalachiX Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Not if she kept wasting time posting surveys on a dating message board instead of talking to me or (God forbid) asking me out. 1
MidwestUSA Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 This is thread #13 on the topic, so I'm gonna call bad omen. 47 and 32 is a pretty big gap, and the coworker thing almost never works out. Make sure you can afford to change jobs, because he won't be the one who has to. 2
RedRobin Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Make sure you can afford to change jobs, because he won't be the one who has to. Posted again for emphasis...
WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 This is thread #13 on the topic, so I'm gonna call bad omen. 47 and 32 is a pretty big gap, and the coworker thing almost never works out. Make sure you can afford to change jobs, because he won't be the one who has to. I do agree that it can be risky which is why I am so pissed it's so many hot women working at the company I just started last week lol
WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 It really isn't that big a difference in age. Why wouldn't he???? I would imagine it would depend on what she looked like. Agree, since when is 32 and 40 a huge age gap?
WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Meh. My husband and I are 8 years apart. He will be 40 in February and I will turn 32 in May. The age difference generally works well for us. The coworker thing is a bit dicey. I did that once and I will never do it again if I find myself single. It is too awkward after the break up. See that's the thing, if start something with someone at work it HAS TO WORK OUT lol Part of me is willing to take the risk with this one girl because I never seen anyone like her before, I have a serious crush lol 1
Author MissyM007 Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 You both single? Answer depends on that. I am and he said he is. He said he divorced nearly ten years ago and had a relationship two years ago that didn't work out.
jcrew11 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 She made it clear she fancied you and you worked nowhere near each other and were part time? I'll be honest with you, VP/Managers don't want to date in the office. There is just too much risk of sexual harassment and gossip. Besides, older men know how to date women outside of the office, so there really is no need to meet women in the office (unless she is wife-material). From what I remember from your previous posts, you said you never dated before. I would suggest you try dating a guy outside of the office just so you can figure out the dating game. Office romances are just toxic if you are not mature enough to handle the ups and downs of relationships. 1
MidwestUSA Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Agree, since when is 32 and 40 a huge age gap? How about 32 and 47? For a 32 year old who has never dated, don't you think she's limiting her options a bit? Does OP have concrete evidence he's divorced? Why is she worrying over phone calls he gets while they're together? Not saying he has something to hide, but OP has already worried herself over such nonsense. Maybe he's a perfectly good guy, but she's spent more than a month here consternating over the situation. If she was so sure it was a good idea, she would have acted on it by now. I'm not basing my answer strictly on the age gap, but on the red flags OP herself has been fretting over. I think she needs to let this one go, it's already been an energy drain for her.
carhill Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 Does OP have concrete evidence he's divorced? Why is she worrying over phone calls he gets while they're together? Good points. Trust but verify. Work can be a vacuum. There's a big world out there beyond work. Some people are expert at separating and compartmentalizing the two environments. I'd say it would be a good 'middle ground' to have some social contact (not dating) with a potential dating partner away from work, usually easily accomplished with similar social circles, for balance and verification. Now, in my example prior, the lady showed up at the group gathering alone with her children, so even that example did not lend a clue that a husband was lurking. However, long experience taught me that everything is not as it seems so I continued on without judgment, awaiting further verification. In time, truth always reveals itself. I do this for practice now, not necessarily because I 'fancy' a particular lady. It's more for research purposes, to hone the skills for a move to a demographic where I will be interested in a potential partner. OP, hard to know what's in the mind of another. As you can see, I've given you a peek into the processes of one older man, one of billions. You'll get billions of variations. Only time will reveal if the variables are synergistic with your goals and interests. Good luck.
Author MissyM007 Posted December 24, 2013 Author Posted December 24, 2013 It really isn't that big a difference in age. Why wouldn't he???? I would imagine it would depend on what she looked like. Right! So last day at work and both mine and his team joined for some games/quiz etc. there were over 20 of us and the whole way through he kept staring right at me and locking eyes. A few noticed, specially when he made reference to my knee boots on one of the questions!. On the way out he was rushing but I did manage to mention coffee I just asked if he was still up for coffee he said yes, after the new year? Be lovely. I said great then went my way. What do you think is it good?! 1
soccerrprp Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 She made it clear she fancied you and you worked nowhere near each other and were part time? No. Too young for me. Don't date less than 7-yrs my junior and 3-yrs my senior.
FloridaKeys Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Right! So last day at work and both mine and his team joined for some games/quiz etc. there were over 20 of us and the whole way through he kept staring right at me and locking eyes. A few noticed, specially when he made reference to my knee boots on one of the questions!. On the way out he was rushing but I did manage to mention coffee I just asked if he was still up for coffee he said yes, after the new year? Be lovely. I said great then went my way. What do you think is it good?! Great job! Now, you've brought coffee up twice so I think he should be the one to confirm plans. 1
Author MissyM007 Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 Oh don't worry I will NOT be mentioning it again!!!
jcrew11 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Right! So last day at work and both mine and his team joined for some games/quiz etc. there were over 20 of us and the whole way through he kept staring right at me and locking eyes. A few noticed, specially when he made reference to my knee boots on one of the questions!. On the way out he was rushing but I did manage to mention coffee I just asked if he was still up for coffee he said yes, after the new year? Be lovely. I said great then went my way. What do you think is it good?! Wow, it seems he might actually be interested in you and its not all in your head. Yeah, work dating is best if you keep it "friendly" and not "romantic" just in case someone doesn't want a relationship. Happy hours, coffee, and other platonic hang-outs are a great way to get to know each other out of the office as "friends first" without the pressure of going on a romantic dinner date (which is too much pressure) and perhaps far too rushed. Meet for coffee, find out if you have any mutual hobbies that you can build a relationship on. But I also must warn you, some Divorced guys "never want to get married again" and just want "casual hookups" without serious girlfriends. Find out if he is indeed ready for love again, and if he is looking for a serious girlfriend. If he is a bitter, angry divorced guy who blames his ex-wife for taking all his money, then it might not have long term potential.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 She made it clear she fancied you and you worked nowhere near each other and were part time? If I liked her
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